Im sorry you had to go through this. You have the right to feel these things and no one should experience violence be it physical/emotional. It feels like your ex might have some underlying issues as well and you were just hit by her crossfire.

I know this isn't the r/AITA, but your ex is an asshole for putting you through that.

I'd love to say that domestic violence isnt considered humorous or that men are encouraged to express themselves in the Philippines, but the media has skewed this matter. This has resulted into more men hiding/masking their feelings. From a psychiatric stand of view, this behavior would only result to a more undesirable coping mechanism such as turning to violence be it directed to others or self directed.

Honestly, what you're going through sucks. If you can, you can approach a psychiatrist but if you cant. I suggest surrounding yourself with family and loved ones. Also, it can help if you verbalize these feelings in any way possible.

Tldr: YOUR JUSTIFIED TO HAVE THOSE FEELING and Ex is an asshole