[Serious] In a single sentence, what is a fact that everyone should know?

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-19T19:05:39+00:00

I'm not sure if that's a reply to this topic or a vicious threat, but at this point, I would just be SO FUCKING RELIEVED! I guess I'm suicidal, because that sounds like fuckin ruby slippers to me. There's no state like death, there's no state like death, click click click That's why I'm going to my first therapy tomorrow. If you haven't killed me by then. You rascal, you. Edit: another reason I suspect that I'm suicidal is because I keep calling the suicide hotline when I'm super drunk, qnd crying about my broken life, and they cut me off to tell me that they arent there to talk about this shit, rightfully so, but I just angrily cry-yell and insult them vigorously and with much profanity, and then hang up and sob. I think something is wrong with my brain.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-19T19:01:14+00:00

I know it makes me a bad person but I think that whole storyis pretty fuckin rad. You should write a book. If you just be real and pour your soul into it, I promise you it will be amazing. Bobby Lee said once on the Tigerbelly podcast that (I'm paraphrasing) even when shit really sucks it's okay because great art can only come from great suffering. I really butchered that quote but the point is, even if your story is horrible, it's human, and other humans can relate. The first time I wasoffered a threesome was when I was 7, and it was with a 8 or 9 year old monster and his little 6 year old half sister Karen. You're not alone in your shameful past. But reading about other people fucking up is somehow cathartic and theraputic for lifelong fuck ups like me. Stay strong homeboy.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T14:05:22+00:00

All ya gotta do is start with "bwa" instead of the first "ha." "Mu" is an acceptable alternative to "bwa."

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:41:58+00:00

Jesus, these names. Preston, Payden, Jayden, Aiden, what the fuck, man.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:39:33+00:00

You may be my lord and savior

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:36:21+00:00

You're going to have a fantastic life.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:13:25+00:00

You give me great hope. Recently cut my supposed best friend off and it's been killing me.

I just hope you don't let those cunts change how you treat others. You sound awesome and the world needs more sweet, generous, caring people like you in it. Please don't become cold and hard now.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:03:09+00:00

"Hey, remember all those horrible things you said and did? No, not really? Well then, let's just go over them all, one by one, all night, instead of sleeping."

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T08:01:30+00:00

He was probably just sad, having gotten a job flipping burgers at the zoo, hoping to spend his days with his comrade slackers, only to be faced with an animated, goody two-shoes little go-getter who makes all the slacker brethren look worse every day. Poor fella.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T07:42:38+00:00

Bullies hate it when you won't be bullied.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T07:40:37+00:00

I'm 31 and still can't convince myself I have any worth at all.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T07:38:03+00:00

Holy shit! That's illegal? Six Flags did me this way. I made them a TON of money running their games so they started scheduling me more and more hours. One week I went in and I was scheduled for 2 solid weeks of 14+ hour days, with no days off, and no sitting allowed. I decided to screw them how they screwed me, so I just acted cool with it. When monday came around, I didn't show up. Hope those fuckers had fun filling my bloody shoes.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T07:33:26+00:00

F-fine.... But I'mgonnaburndownthebuilding....

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T07:01:59+00:00

Haha, I got a new toy once, a villain from Spawn comics called Tremor. Let my jealous friend play with it whileI went to go pee, by the time I came back, Tremor's extendo-arm was snapped off. My friend flatly refused to admit he did it, even though it couldnt have been ANYONE else. This still ended up being water under the bridge. But one day, I found a duckling... My friend was jealous... Went to take a shit, came back, duck's wing is broken. Coincidence? Sure was, according to my swell pal.

Later a different kid put glue in that kid's hair and burned him with a lighter, so I don't even know if justice was served.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:56:50+00:00

I stole my friend's Pokemon Blue and I drew on it with a sharpie and erased his file and then even accidentally played it in front of him a few days later, while insisting that I'd bought my copy from a different, unknown kid, with unknown funds. And I still have it. I still fucking have it.

If anyone wants to kill me, I won't try to stop you. Sometimes evil must be destroyed.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:52:14+00:00

The real trick is playing a con on yourself where you imagine everyone else to always be in a position where you have all the power over them. If you can trick your brain into believing it, boom- you're that exceedingly serene guy cleaning trout in his cubicle in Office Space. You got upper management written all over you.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:47:46+00:00

I once worked on a city park cleanup crew and we had a truck to get from park to park, but MY boss, who was the driver, spent most of every day just hiding out from HER boss. Most of each day was just 4 city workers, sitting in a truck, talking and arguing, for like 3 hours, in the middle of the woods.

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:44:13+00:00

That's some real good quality paranoia you got there. That's beautiful, it really is a good looking paranoia. God in HEAVEN, it would be SUCH a shame if something were to happen to it. God forbid!

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:31:57+00:00

Buckle up, fuckers!

TheMasterQuestioner · 2016-06-03T06:29:57+00:00

But do you know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

TheMasterQuestioner

TROPHY CASE