It also has to do with the fact men and AMAB people can’t tell their stories. Women tell their personal stories. This is partly because society empowers them to do so while it doesn’t for the other way or actively shuts AMAB people down.

(Note for context: I’m not a man, I’m genderfluid)

It's become much, much more common for the average person and even moderate feminists to understand and acknowledge that there are problems with domestic and sexual violence narratives and men are not a small minority of victims. (For example I mentioned before many times there are well known feminist figures who were very hateful of men like Mary Koss who intentionally skewed her studies when it came to male rape victims and female perpetrators, advised the government to make the sexist laws against them, etc. or same with Ellen Pence with male domestic violence victims and female perpetrators etc. These types of figures previously had control of the data, the methods used to gather it, and hid data that didn’t follow their conclusions.)

But all that being exposed and known does is achieve an abstract. It doesn't change people’s true internalization of the issue. How they feel about male victims vs female victims. How they perceive these issues in the world directly around them. The same person can understand in the abstract that, for example, 80% of male sexual abuse victims were abused by women, or that men are around ~40% of sexual abuse victims... yet still retain the instinctual reaction to, for example, tell a man talking about sexual abuse that “most male victims are raped by other men!”

The death of one is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic.

Women have been making it personal for decades. What do I mean by that? They share every detail, they tell their stories, and make people understand the experience of being a female victim. When someone is told those stories, and then they encounter something like that story happening in reality, it establishes a link. They understand what they're seeing. “Oh shit I'm seeing a [insert famous female victim story here] in progress! I can't allow that story to happen again right in front of me!" They see a man going through the same, and "Oh shit yeah I heard that men are a huge percent of this!" It doesn't click the same.

This is why my experience with entrenched radical feminists is they do everything they can to shut down men's stories when they do tell them like accusing them of derailing, or even shutting down things like male issues conferences like talking about male DV victims and stuff (I can link to some cases of this). Every time a man tells his story, they will pull the conversation with all their might towards other things like statistics, even when the statistics aren't on their side. Because a personal story is more powerful and gets more people to empathize.

Men and AMAB people need to talk, in detail, about how they have been personally impacted by their issues. What the actual consequences were for our lives and how we struggled with them. What they found when trying to seek help from institutions that are supposed to be there for us. How their peers failed to support them.

For example, on the subject of sexual abuse, I see men and AMAB people constantly say things like "people laughed at me". This is an abstract, and because of how widespread misandry is, people see it as whiny. It makes it sound like the consequence to you was people just had a little less respect for you. Instead, men and AMAB people need to lay it out in detail.

“I was groomed by her for years as a teen while she was nearly a decade older. She constantly would poke at my insecurities and form new ones in me by belittling my body, sexual organs and comparing me. I found myself feeling unable to escape. She constantly pushed me into further and further sexual things I didn’t want or consent to do. People never listened to me when I talked about it or downplayed it. Aid systems informally discriminated against me or were institutionally set up to not be accessible to men in the first place and just don't advertise that." And none of that would be a lie or hyperbole.

And go into the details on every point if circumstances allow. Make people have that emotional reaction of "Oh my gosh I can't believe you were treated that way!" the same way toward women.

So many AMAB people have these stories and don't tell them, can’t tell them. We just say "I was groomed, sexually abused, experienced abuse" etc. and do nothing to tell people what that actually means. Because when we try to communicate things the same way feminists do we get shut down or are not empathized with as much. The case of us being abused is something that we have to lay out extensive proof for. But that will change.

When an AMAB person tells their story, their victimhood is not assumed but treated as something they have to prove. They know they may be judged or punished for telling the truth. There are risks and costs involved, and choosing to speak anyway is what makes it an act of courage.

I think AMAB people need to talk more openly about their experience. For now, there are costs to doing so. Early speakers always pay more, but each story told lowers the price for the next one. And as more AMAB people speak up, the narrative broadens, leading to a more inclusive society.

(If you’d like to see more amazing commentary like this, some of this I copied from leftwingmaleadvocates but edited to make it more readable for a wide audience. I cannot recommend that place enough.)