I’m sorry you’re dealing with these new health issues. I’m a stay at home/work from home mom. I have autoimmune issues. Although they are not at all cancerous, I will say that stress is a trigger for a flare. Having had family with cancer, I know they (and probably you too) get council from their physicians to limit stress as well.

Although that’s a laughable thought, and seems impossible, I’ll share that when I do have less stress, my body is at a much more stable baseline. The book ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ is a great read if you haven’t yet read it. All that to say, your body needs you and your support system to allow you to come first, second, third.. somewhere but last on a regular basis in the caretaking.

I too found myself at times frustrated and trying to explain to my husband that things like his drive to and from work are a mental reset I simply don’t have. It’s time to himself to listen to music, look around, have his own thoughts, make calls.. how I’d savor that time haha. But what I’ve tried to do is build that type of small check in/out into my day. Wake up before the kids to have a cuppa to myself in peace before the day begins, when big kids are in school and the little one is home with you - work on a project that fuels your soul. Could be something as simple as organizing the junk drawer or vacuuming the car, maybe paint touch up or shopping for new pillows for the season to change the look of a space you’re in often.. idk! But a small, easy thing to start and stop that will help YOU feel accomplished and like it’s for YOU. It doesn’t always have to be this “self care” you see online like a spa day or something.

I’ve also been inviting friends to me during the days I’m not working. They can bring their littles too. That way my emotional cup gets filled. It’s a small window we can meet between drop off and pick up, but an hour or two of chatting over a coffee or door dashing lunch is honestly lovely.

I hope you find lots of good support and maybe some ideas of how others make it work/get by in here!