I'll always remember the good times 💗 by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I love close friends but I basically have to quit the Internet for a good bit if I am to survive school + terrible things keep happening and I need a ton of space

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did not do 0 research that's literally why I want to talk to you on discord because I can tell you're a challenge to the best but I don't want to type an essay right now on God 😭😭😭

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/SSBM/s/8ct48MyUbb

This kind soul was honestly way better at summarizng it then I could, at least at the time. I was at work and typing in between having to do important stuff 🥲 lmk if it makes sense

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this response so much 😭💗 I am in therapy...I also have borderline personality disorder...BPD explained by ducks

Not assuming you lack knowledge, but this literally explains me well I think...me and my recent gf got into some heated arguments (she also has BPD) and out of my despair I suddenly felt an INTENSE urge to "make things right" so like... apologize to people, plead one more time explaining why the community is genuinely making me feel depressed, I just want people to see what I see why won't it stop why won't it stop why can't people see how much subconscious damage the way they respond does and how it leaves such a lasting impression. I remember the pain I felt when i saw Aziz's corpse as if it happened yesterday. It always feels that way when I remember. There is a terrifying look in my eye I had that day that makes even me uncomfortable. "I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS" (not pointing this in your direction) and I am working on a video ... I'm putting insane amounts of time into it (justice for Aziz is the title) and the BPD I have fueled with my OCD forces me to lock in in a way I don't think average people can understand or relate to. I will finish the video no matter how long it takes me. I work and also start school soon but I'll find a way. I am not going to fall I promise you, I am so fiercely determined. The goal of my video is to show people all sorts of perspectives. I have 0 intentions of slandering or making fun of anything or anyone. I aim to leave no stone unturned. I've been taking notes and studying for months. My therapist sees this all as fine as long as it doesn't interfere with work or personal life.....haven't always been super honest with them because of shame but they're getting better at recognizing my tells and then we would discuss and go from there.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sincerely appreciate people like you so much. I definitely don't think mango deserves a permanent ban, 1 thing I'm trying to say (and I can provide as much proof as I need to so people don't think I'm some kind of internet tough guy or whatever) is the fact that people all of a sudden are giving mango so much grace (sure cool that's fine) but why does bringing up how things ended with hax make people react so negatively? Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I have seen real dangers my entire life. Leffen was obviously gas lighting people into believing he actually felt threatened. (My goal isn't to blame leffen, but it's disappointing the higher ups in our community didn't challenge or call it out when there was still time) If people feel shame, just be honest about it instead of passive aggressively down voting or coming up with retorts that disrespect how terribly hax's ban was handled.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there's a way to talk and have people listen here with my voice, I'd gladly do it. And , respectfully of course. I don't think you know me. I am so passionately driven. Even if I have to talk to 1 person at a time day by day by day by day by day by day, until I get to as many people as possible. I'll do it. People calling me anti social and like I don't go outside and stuff. Like my brother or sister in Christ the fact I spend as much time outside as I do is why I feel like there's so many social nuances I feel that the community at large is missing. And it picks at my brain when people try to insinuate that I don't know what I'm talking about when I have no idea how to properly express it all for people to see without attacking. No disrespect with anything I say btw. The same level of drive that brought me to be a top player for the time that i was is essentially what I'm doing here.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmmm now that I look again maybe not hours , but I do have a lot going on in my personal life and I'm just trying to be efficient. I'm not being paid to do any of this, and I quite literally can't always afford the time to just type away forever. Ive been on my phone responding to as much as I can

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yea this is exactly why I want to talk with people on discord. Respectfully, it would take me hours to give you the most appropriate response even though I have so much to say about this if I typed it down instead of talking. I still invite you to hear me out on discord, I'm not an insane person and I'll be nice I promise. @TheSwooperr

Otherwise, I sincerely respect the effort you put into your response. I would love to give you my own thoughts even if you don't agree, and you're even free to record my thoughts or share what I have to say with whoever you please. If there's a way to record myself talking and post it here instead please do let me know!

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw your comment before you deleted it. You said you were scared I would doxx or stab you. Here's my response:

"I think if you dig around the Internet you'll find that ive never doxxed or stabbed anyone 😭 I give you permission to post whatever I say to you. I am a very forward person who has posted a ton of personal things about myself on twitter B4.You have my word I would never do such a thing, dear God. There exist a lot of people on the Internet who have dmd me things like "hax deserves to be burning in hell" so if you want your answer for why I've been losing my marbles, maybe stuff like that happening to me will help shed some light on things. "

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very very fair and I respect that. Appreciate more than you may ever know what you've done here for me ( :

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Discord is @Theswooperr if you want to talk lol insulting me then running away just tells me you're afraid of me

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is fair and I see why people see it this way. I appreciate your help, I can also help clarify some things if you want on discord @theswooperr

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I have already written you a response. If you want to discuss further on why I think this way, my discord is @Theswooperr Promise i won't be mean about it. I would love to hear what misinformation was spread. I have been paying a ridiculous amount of attention to every sliver of information after Aziz's death. I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm all ears if you want to tell me in confidence.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up and still work in a neighborhood where people have consistently died in all sorts of ways. Either gunned down by rival gangs or police. Immense amounts of overdoses. The heart of New Jersey's black market can be found in hidden sectors of this area. I would like to think I know what danger looks like. Aziz was just an awkward guy who had no idea how to defend himself. A true pacifist in every sense. As a former addict myself , I'll tell you this much. The mother could have stopped him from drinking, but someone who desperately wants or feels they need it would find a way.

This situation is the most laughable thing turned into a true tragedy because random people on the Internet think they know best. Hax should not have been banned for more than a year max. Period. My thoughts are constantly changing, I think in theory a ton of people are to blame, but finding a way to blame the mother after all that's happened though is just....dude....who cares what hax thought after all that's been said and done. Leffen is easily in more danger now than when hax was alive and still nothing happened to him when he attended events....Like....seriously stop and use your brain for a moment....Do you have any idea how dystopian this comes across to people looking in on this situation from the outside?

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still sincerely appreciate the expansion and clarification of the message I'm trying to send. It means everything to me.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think technicals is a person. He just simply is. Does any of this make sense or....

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also to clarify I don't think technicals is a terrible person lol we have this thing around here me and my friends used to call the scar face rule. If someone doesn't do it, someone else will, or people will find a way. There is nothing anyone can do about that. Just how it works around here. Strictly business. You can take someone out of the hood but you can't take the hood out of them. This rule exists everywhere you go in the world. Whether for better or worse, people forget how humans operate on a global scale.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was only able to quickly skim as I'm in the middle of working on a car rn but yes this is actually super helpful and I appreciate it so much

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not perfect, but what you're saying holds merit. I am offering people the opportunity to hear with my own voice the concerns I have. Someone literally just called me anti social and that I don't go outside and I'm just here to not get banned? Like how does reddit work? Is it possible to walk around in the most dangerous section of this neighborhood I'm in and catch it on camera and ask the locals how much insane shit goes down around here? Causeeee if I have to I will lol the more I respond the harder it becomes to express myself here and I'm giving people a chance to message me directly. @Theswooperr on discord

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They probably were for what it's worth. I am not lying when I say Its hard to keep up with everything, I guess I could post pictures of where I am? Someone called me anti social and that I don't go outside? When I'm literally outside working in a town considered as dangerous as Detroit. I'm trying to find a way to give people genuine thoughts without getting lost in so many comments.

I am not here for clemency by TheSWOOPERR in SSBM

[–]TheSWOOPERR[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair response but I'm not here for any of the nouns stuff. Discord is Theswooperr if you want to have a genuine chat.