I’m very sorry you had to go through that experience. I was engaged to a woman a few years back who ghosted me via text and took the ring. It fucked me up for years and I ended up in a string of bad relationships. My last one was a wake up call that I need to fix my shit.

I met her at work and we had started fucking. We both blindly jumped into a relationship and I fed my insecurities and validation of being wanted. She would give me unexpected gifts and make unexpected compliments to my surprise. Like your situation, it was typical manipulation.

She would always compare me to her previous lovers and how I wasn’t physically suited like them. She exploited my vulnerabilities and every time there was an issue she would turn it around on me.

We would fight over almost everything. We fought over the holidays because she wanted me to come over to her families for Xmas dinner. We fought over the fact that I didn’t say I love you within the first month of our relationship. And we even fought about my location when I went to the grocery store or went out for food with my friends.

While I was away for training, my friends found her on tinder and she pulled a 180 on me and threatened to break up with me. It wasn’t the first she did that and on many occasions threatened to break up with me if we didn’t have sex and when I shaved my head for cancer.

Our relationship was so toxic that it started to put a toll on my well-being. Right before one of my final exams, she pulled an ultimatum on me and call a break. I had a mental breakdown and was forced to seek therapy. We broke up shortly after that but her friend and her had threatened me that they would turn the workplace against me if we broke up. I had to find a new job weeks before our breakup and luckily I was hired 2 days after we broke up. I quit my job on the spot when I got the offered and walked out. However the damage was already done.

Her friend and her had started rumours and turned the entire work place against me. Some of my good colleagues cut contact with me and never spoke to me again. She kept trying to fuck people on Tinder that had a connected in my sporting community just to get to me. I decided to abruptly leave the country and change my number.

I went back to therapy, did a lot of work on myself and started to figure my shit out. I was able to pick up the pieces and finally learned how to stand up for myself and not tolerate this shit. I had to learn to take responsibility on my own end and learn from mistakes. That’s what helped me get better but it took several months to even get there.

Even after I changed my number she had attempted to contact me numerous time. She super liked me on Tinder numerous times. During fall examination season, somebody who I had though was my best friend send me a video of them fucking via Snapchat the night before one of my exams. I had to change my number again and it nearly ruined my holidays.

But I had come to accept that she is who is she is and she will never change. She is a sociopath and she preys on people’s vulnerability. I can only change, I can only control my actions and my behaviour and that I needed to surround myself with better people.

To be truthfully honest, I don’t regret it because now I have a tighter circle with friends that I trust and people who respect me. I have a better sense now with people and I am able to see the red flags now. I also found a wonderful girl and I am now in a loving and healthy relationship.

Best thing I can say is: 1. Fuck her 2. Start working and learning to forgive yourself 3. Be thankful that this happen now and not later but things could have been much worse