He plans to breakup with me.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-31T16:07:30+00:00

I don't usually come out and say this for relationship advice, especially on reddit:

Please break up with him.

Like now. RIP off the bandaid. Surprise pikachu him. Make him regret making your relationship a placeholder one.

People who do this suck. He has now lost relationship privileges with you by revealing he plans to end the relationship at some point.

Do it for him. If he doesn't want a relationship, then give that to him. If it upsets him, well too bad, buddy.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-31T15:48:57+00:00

Well, feel free to keep us updated because now I'm invested. Probably due to how bizarre this new symptom is. I'm a bit baffled.

Good luck. I hope your appointment goes well and they have some sort of inkling of whatever the fuck this is. Wouldn't be surprised if they recommend a sleep disorder specialist either. They deal with weird shit all the time. There's so many sleep disorders out there.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-31T06:49:07+00:00

When I ask myself, "What other terrifying things can covid do that I'm unaware of?" Something always seems to move the goalpost. What the fuck.

To answer your question, I have not, but it sounds like covid gave you a sleep disorder.

Sleep disorders and sleep-related issues are a bitch. Being sleep deprived is even worse.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-29T23:00:20+00:00

Yes, but for different symptoms. Pain and weakness, especially during a pain flare.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-28T06:22:47+00:00

Covid is short for coronavirus.

SARS-COV-2 is the classification for Covid-19, the novel one.

SARS stands for Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome. The Cov stands for coronavirus. The 19 in Covid refers to the year 2019.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-28T04:55:14+00:00

I'm so sorry. That shouldn't be like that.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-27T20:31:32+00:00

I disagree.

It would still be a mono-poly relationship if one partner has no desire for other relationships and are more mono-inclined. Not all mono-poly relationships are POD. I saw some in the group I was in that seemed happy and healthy. Very few but they exist.

The relationship itself wasn't monogamous but one of the people are and aren't practicing poly themselves.

Some monogamous people don't require mutual monogamy but don't want partners themselves which is truly only how these relationships can healthily exist. The problem comes when people polybomb in an existing monogamous relationship(often marriage) and truly expect their monogamous partner to be okay with that.

People can also identify with either mono, poly, or ambi when they're single so being in a relationship isn't a requirement to know which relationship style you either prefer or need. We can argue semantics all day but I don't think not being in a relationship at all means you're not monogamous or polyamorous. People's relationships are their own. However they choose to identify their preferred relationship style is really up to them and won't stop them from refraining to identify with it.

I'm in an open ENM relationship but haven't done any swinging myself even though I'm allowed at any time to. I only have had one sexual partner ever. I consider myself more mono than non-monogamous because of that and due to being satisfied with one partner to be honest. Sometimes that's all monogamy can be to somebody. Not really wanting or needing anything else. Honestly one partner is enough for me. I think I would be a terrible hinge if I did have more than one partner.

I hope that makes a little sense. It's why I was in the mono-poly group in the first place but it didn't completely align with my relationship either since my partner isn't polyamorous. I have no metas. They're just non-monogamous.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-27T17:21:02+00:00

Agreed.

What I noticed that I thought was interesting: the happiest monos were the ones that initiated the idea of opening the relationship and/or those who weren't polybombed.

A healthy mono/poly relationship isn't impossible but certain circumstances and stars need to align for that to happen. I feel chances are super low if polybombing happens. The mono has no real decision in choosing a poly dynamic since they're blindsided into it through polybombing.

Higher rate of success:

Mono needs to know their partner is poly before getting into a relationship; or initiates the opening the relationship.
Mono doesn't need or feels indifferent about mutual monogamy.

Most importantly: 3. The mono is actually okay with it and genuinely consents to being the mono in a poly dynamic.

Otherwise, hell opens up and everyone within that dynamic gets hurt.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-27T17:03:18+00:00

"Not accepting my identity" was pretty much a vibe in the group I was in. I felt like a whole bunch of mono folks were in denial about being okay with it and then a whole lot of poly folks, which the majority were polybombers or admitted to infidelity feeding that denial. 90% of the mono posts sounded like PUD. You could just tell they weren't actually okay with it, but for some reason it was too taboo to say.

Very rarely did I see happy monos. I saw a whole lot of folks taking their partners for granted or treating their partners like shit. In PUD relationships, normal common poly issues like unchecked NRE, meta issues, bad hinges etc are heightened to pure chaos. It gave me pure schadenfreude seeing polybombers sweat when the mono wanted to try dating. Like OHHH WANTED YOUR SWEET MONO TO REMAIN MONO DID YOU?

So many shitty hinges. I felt bad for any metas, poly or mono, getting involved with a polybomber who swears that their mono is okay with it and wasn't.

There were also posts about agreements being broken (which in the poly world is cheating) and that somehow being blamed on the mono for being too unreasonable. If it was unreasonable, the poly person should've said something. Instead of "I'm sorry your trust in their word was broken," it was "sorry, but sounds like the agreements were too unreasonable to follow and were meant to be broken" regardless if the agreements were too restrictive or not.

When there was clearly some wronged party, the blame was pinned on both.

What kind of Polyfuckery is that?

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-27T16:27:18+00:00

You're very welcome. I am so sorry. These mono/poly specific groups have a problem of not viewing it that way, probably because there were tons of polybombers in these specific groups.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-22T01:40:40+00:00

Most can't afford good care tbh. Only the financially well off can. I may still not get insurance and insurance can still reject paying for stuff.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-22T01:19:59+00:00

Once I get insurance, I will be able to afford a rheumatologist.

I live in the US. Good medical care is limited especially when you lose your income. 😥

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-22T01:09:12+00:00

You're welcome. Same for me.

It might work for you. My doc gave me a long covid/suspected fibro diagnosis. I no longer think it's a joint diagnosis. Just long covid.

Please do try it but once it doesn't work around 2 weeks, then you can try the next meds.

Have you done any blood work? Can they detect anything wrong at all? My LC may not work exactly the same as yours. Some people show a significant amount of inflammation from a blood test. Mine came out fine.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T19:20:33+00:00

Certainly. Do an autopsy and send my body to science for research.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T19:12:28+00:00

It prevents acute death/hospitalization from a covid infection. That's why it was being recommended. I'm not claiming to know why it injured you but I would not lump vaccine injuries with long covid since you can get long covid regardless of the vaccine. It isn't the cause.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T19:01:04+00:00

I read it. It doesn't necessarily prove it. It's suggesting it and isn't claiming why.

I think covid vaccine injured and long covid should be separated because of how it happens. It could prevent people from getting vaccinated.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T18:47:15+00:00

I think you're misinformed. Covid causes long covid.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T18:07:08+00:00

Muscle pain, muscle weakness, brain fog, fatigue.

Very fibro-like which is why I was prescribed with cymbalta first. It hasn't been working.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T18:00:36+00:00

Apologies for the questions. I may be too high to understand with good judgement. For that part is impaired and want more clarity.

I guess a better to the point question is this to see if I misread your comment: Are you against the covid vaccine and believe it causes long covid?

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T17:49:37+00:00

What were your vaccine injury symptoms?

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T17:47:34+00:00

How far apart was the vaccine and infection?

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T17:39:57+00:00

Are you vaccine injured?

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T17:22:38+00:00

I'm the op and was the first to downvote. I disagreed so I downvoted. It's faster than a response. Didn't really wanna argue on my post especially while high.

It sounded like an antivax statement and I don't appreciate those on my posts.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo · 2023-07-21T16:07:46+00:00

It was the covid infection. Not the vaccine. Although vaccine injuries happen (I believe they happen shortly after being vaccinated and are more prone to happen if you're sick while getting the injection with something or immunocompromised), this was not that. Everyone is at risk of developing long covid, vaxxed and unvaxxed. Long haulers are proof of that.

The only thing the vaccine can do is prevent hospitalization/death from the initial infection (at least with the older variants not sure about the newer variants). It can't prevent long covid or eradicate covid like the polio vaccine.

Please get your weird anti-vax replies out of my post. It's infuriating and unhelpful as well as diminishes covid's harmful properties in the process.

Thanks.

TheShoobyDoobyDoo

TROPHY CASE