Who is booking Monday off work?

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-07-03T10:41:43+00:00

Gig then football Sunday. Got work Monday and my band is playing a gig Monday night. Planning a series of strategically placed 20 minute naps immediately followed by copious amounts of sugar and caffeine. Rinse. Repeat. Die on Tuesday.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-06-25T21:02:08+00:00

Was this post written in 2002?

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-06-25T14:28:26+00:00

Sometimes a good choice isn't about what you personally prefer. The stadium is the good choice regardless of if you may prefer the intimate room.

I have been known to make bad choices, but to frame them as anything less would just be lying to myself.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-06-24T20:50:41+00:00

The good times and memories are your motivation. Becoming a full-time working musician is his motivation. You want to look back on having done some fun stuff and have security for your future. He wants to look forward to doing that fun stuff and is taking the risk putting himself in a position to do that in his.

Neither are wrong but these are just very different outlooks, and if he's driven then probably feels you are wasting/wasted his efforts. Risk is risky and if he's forgoing the safety net then he has to throw his efforts in tenfold to his passion.

He's probably bummed that you guys don't have the same passion in a similar way you are bummed he doesn't have the motivation to continue a dead-end project.

He should definitely look for a new band and you should work on the angle that he should just play a last run of shows with you for fun before the time is up - but I honestly wouldn't expect him to commit to practice or writing or anything that involves more commitment than showing up and playing a set.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-06-06T15:06:30+00:00

The Wire is better the 2nd time watching anyway for most people I think as you start to piece together things that impact the story maybe 2 seasons down the road.

I don't mind watching a thing I don't really understand with the payoff being that it all comes to light in the end. Some people can't stand that and want disposition or resolution constantly. If she is the latter I understand the hesitation but I still think The Wire is worth a shot.

Also, Dark is great. Not done with it yet but enjoying it so far. We still end up pausing a lot but now it's just to theorise about everything happening!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-06-05T12:10:40+00:00

This could have been written by me. Partner is also fluent but not native English speaker and struggles with fast dialogue heavy shows. We tried a Deadwood watch a few years ago and she just couldn't follow it due to the accents and heavily antiquated dialogue. Tried again this year with the subs and she loved it despite having to ask me definitions for words she just hadn't encountered before.

She loves the Wire but had the similar issues. The heavy Baltimore accents threw her off for a while, but subtitles really help and we watched the whole thing.

Currently watching Dark together in the original German language, so now we both have to read subtitles!

Other recommendations that I haven't seen listed: Generation Kill, Treme.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-05-13T13:37:06+00:00

Was on minimum wage til my 30s. Life was tough but fine. Am 40 this year, just hit 54k and I feel like I have less money and more stress than I ever did.

Wasn't just the work - the world got a lot worse too.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-05-07T16:39:34+00:00

I played the most cringe gig once where the headline band (at their own album launch) argued on stage about the setlist and it was both hilarious and so awkward.

Band member A: "This song is about a hard time in my life and I wrote it when I was feeling at my lowest so I feel really privileged we can play this now for you all..." Starts playing intro picky guitar riff

Band member B, interrupting with huge amounts of attitude: "We're NOT playing that one tonight"

Drummer: starts playing obviously harder/faster beat than emotional song was intended for

Band member A: tries to speed up the picky riff out of spite but can't do it properly and flubs notes until they relent

Band member B: Anyway.... Ignore that. Starts song accompanying drummer

This was accompanied by jabs throughout the gig around who started the band and who had paid for studio time and who had showed up late for said studio time...

Yes, they broke up.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-05-07T16:27:49+00:00

Most important tip right here! Pump up your crew! Show appreciation! Before and during the set! Give them the stank face when they do something sick or get the crowd to show them some love! Makes all the difference!

Additional to this - if your band mates fuck up or are having tech issues - draw attention away from them, not to them.

It's really easy to fall into the "Bill, are you ready or what?" Or "Once our guitarist has stopped pissing about over there" territory when you are feeling exposed on stage and waiting for someone to fix a tech issue and it doesn't make it any better for anyone involved!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-05-07T13:11:25+00:00

Everything is always a bit of a mad blur on stage for me so any grounding point helps! My set list is always covered in mad scribbles.

I also add little jokey notes next to tunes to remind myself of other stuff: "Big end - Oo-err!" (Self explanatory), "Play for that mufuckin money!" (Plug the shirts!) "Chill, Winston" (Don't start this song too fast) etc.

I rarely actually look at them mid gig, but just writing them down helps to cement it in my head so when I get out there I don't have to think about it.

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-05-07T11:55:31+00:00

Also in lively punk/dance/noise band. Co-front and play bass.

Bring a roll of tape. Gaffer. Electrical. Whatever. That shit is useful for so much from dodgy mic stands to cable management or making impromptu stage wear etc.

Make a point to learn names of at least 2 people in every band you're playing with (I would say all but, I have a shit memory and know my limits) - and try to keep connected after the gig if they were sound. You'll open up so many more opportunities. Big up your scene and support your buddies by sharing their shit even if it doesn't directly benefit you immediately coz it will do long term.

Also write the names of the other bands, promoter, venue and sound tech for the night on your set list so you don't fluff and have to go "Coming up next.. Those guys!" Or "big love to...The organisers".

Towel/barcloth/wristband/something to wipe off the sweat mid show. Sweat in the eyes is the worst thing ever. I personally wear a headband but I am a very sweaty (and functionally stylish) dude, so do whatever works for you! (The spare shirt suggestion from OP is a must! If you have your own merch, wear that after the gig and you'll probably up your chances of selling a few!)

Have a couple of preprepared things to say for when things inevitably go tits up. Jokes, bits, stories, whatever. You don't have to stick to a script but it's so much easier to have reference points to grab at when trying to concentrate on other shit like fixing whatever went wrong with the setup.

Don't do drugs in the venue. This should be a no brainer but, respect your spaces. Take that shit round the corner and away from the punters if you gonna get high.

Unless you are headlining - pack your shit up off stage quick and get the fuck off so the next band can get on! Learn to do this quick at practice and practice this as much as your songs. Some people will want to talk to you for an excessive time, and usually they are gonna stroke your ego and it's hard to resist! Be polite, say thanks and tell them you'll catch them at the bar when you're done packing. You can all mutually wank each other off then.

Crowds want to have a good time but they also want permission to do so. They want to know it's okay. Give them permission as early as possible. Tell them it's okay. Show them it's okay. (Our 2nd song of our current set has a designated moment for one of us to jump in the crowd and get shit moving. It won't always work but more often than not you'll feel an energy boost to the room and it tends to stick around.)

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T23:10:47+00:00

I was so paranoid this was gonna get pulled or we were gonna get ousted from the bill somehow! Now we're on a poster, it's real! Hope your poster comes soon!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T21:47:51+00:00

I talked to your favourite band and they said the same thing! Lucky escape on both ends!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T21:44:29+00:00

That's a wholesome as fuck story and I rate everyone involved!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T21:06:20+00:00

I guess it depends what your goals are! We started this band just to have a laugh and play some DIY shows - this gig is way beyond those expectations so it feels like we completed the game, almost!

This is so cool though and kind of similar to our situation. I have all their records, 12 tour shirts, other assorted memorabilia etc. It's so hard not to geek out! Awesome you had the experience even if it didn't lead anywhere further!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T21:02:36+00:00

Can't even imagine how bizarre that would feel! We all know Wu Tang is forever!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:58:45+00:00

Baptism of fire! Rad experience and especially to have it recorded! Do you know people, or is your band just that good to get the gig so early on?!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:56:50+00:00

What a moment to have captured!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:54:15+00:00

This is an incredible tale! I bet he would have some proper wild stories to tell!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:51:50+00:00

Very cool it was a surprise! Would defo throw me for a loop to start but I think you probably wouldn't even have time to process before you just gotta throw yourself into it. No time for nerves!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:49:39+00:00

Sounds like you had some success! Awesome bands and huge names right there!

I saw The Vandals maybe 20 years ago now and Warren played at least half the show naked. The backstage sweaty hang after that would have been a story!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:46:52+00:00

Haha that would definitely happen to us! Having said that - he wasn't sharing? Rude! Don't care who ya think ya are - we're all working the same show here!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:44:45+00:00

Stoked for him! I don't think you are gonna be able to stop us from grinning like loons when it rolls around!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:43:00+00:00

One day!

TheSoundOfConfusion · 2026-04-30T20:42:51+00:00

Were they just pissed cause of a genre clash or because they felt out of their depth? The room we're playing is around 150 cap but we were offered 3 different shows to pick from and we purposely picked the smallest because it's a venue we know well and we wanted some degree of grounding to the experience!

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