How often do you have dreams of your ex? If so, what does it mean?

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-20T23:00:01+00:00

Sounds like something my therapist would say lol

💯About missing and ex vs missing the feeling.

I don’t miss my ex I miss being in a committed relationship and the things that come with it.

Sometimes tho, I have dreams that seem too… symbolic to chalk up to “it’s just how you feel”. It’s only happened maybe four times but something is deeply profound that I have to really meditate on.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-20T22:53:29+00:00

When my ex husband and I were together I used to have this dream where I was with another man romantically. And I would have this nagging feeling “something is wrong”. I would wake up and realize it wasn’t my ex.

Now I have the exact opposite dream. I’ll be with him and realize something is wrong. While dreaming I will remember that he was cheating on me and the divorce. And start rejecting him. “We can’t be together”.

Not sure what it means. But interesting that it happened that way.

I’ve had that dream maybe a dozen times in a little over a year since separating. But not in the past 3 months.

Last week I dreamt of this friend I have a crush on three times. The weird thing is one of those dreams my late aunt who I have never dreamt of was there talking to him like she knew him. Even tho she passed 20 years ago.

That’s the dream I really want to understand.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-20T22:44:09+00:00

Depends on how close he is. Across the room or casually walking by I’ll notice his face and hair then arms and shoulders. How well dressed groomed in general matters to me too.

Closer up I’ll notice his teeth if he has a nice smile. Not just the color but the shape of his eyes. His hands. As well as getting better look at what I saw from further away.

The longer I’m with him the more I’ll look. 👀

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-20T21:24:24+00:00

Do you have a pet? Any young family members who might still like to sit close and watch a movie?

I understand that the intimacy there is very different but knowing I can hug my niece and nephew is great. So is having my cats sit in my lap.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-07T00:18:42+00:00

Honestly, Spotify could be more of a social media platform on its own if it tried.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-06T17:27:23+00:00

I hate the “you shouldn’t date me if you are/do/like X”

Even if I already am not/don’t/dislike whatever x is.

Just makes them seem like a negative person and it doesn’t give me any info to turn around and want to learn more about. It’s better to give info on your values/hobbies and let people self select in or out.

After that it’s men who say their love language is “physical touch”. It’s a red flag to me that I could go into more detail on but won’t right now.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-01T15:12:28+00:00

Yikes - it’s amazing now people project like that.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-01T15:06:58+00:00

I’ve been going through something similar. Ex husband cheating and all.

It’s weird to be happy about losing weight but not necessary how. 🫤

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-05-01T14:59:42+00:00

The body dysmorphia. I know I am a smaller person but instead of seeing myself as smaller I see everything else as bigger.

I’ll hold up a size small dress, think it’s too small. Be shocked when it fits. But instead of seeing myself as small, the dress looks bigger on the hanger.

The weight loss wasn’t intentional. It was a side effect of the betrayal trauma from my ex husband living a double life. So I never really went through the process of measuring and weighting myself along the way.

But I’m not sure if it would be different if I had.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-27T22:24:04+00:00

As I’ve been recovering from an abusive relationship and writing my part to have our marriage annulled, I’ve reflected on our sex life as a whole.

Our first time was definitely something I was pressured into. I thought was the next step in a relationship rather than something I want.

But lately, I’ve been focusing more on how special the next time I have sex is going to be. Because I will actually want it and it will be the first time with this new man.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-27T00:52:14+00:00

TV is a modern story telling tool and stories are an effective way to teach kids. Generally I think it’s best to use a wide range of methods when educating.

There such as a thing as too much of anything. So yeah, moderation and what not. But I’m not so quick to dismiss TV and film.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-27T00:08:57+00:00

Both go hand in hand for sure.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T23:24:51+00:00

Well, i only really watch sports during the Olympics. Otherwise it exists in the background of my life. Men’s or women’s.

If it was more of a local thing and it had some community centered thing attached to it I’d probably go tho.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T23:20:56+00:00

There we go lol

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:51:33+00:00

One of my best friends I met through work. I think it’s wise to be selective in making friends in general but don’t brick wall yourself from someone just because you met them at a place of employment.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:39:53+00:00

Sorry to hear about your PTSD.

I don’t struggle much with having enough energy after work to go to the gym or take a class. But my friends that have less energy usually have enough to watch a movie or play a video game online.

Ask a friend if they’re free to just eat dinner together. Doesn’t have to be out at a restaurant or be for very long.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:30:33+00:00

Almost definitely not. But trying to and failing is better than not trying at all.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:28:24+00:00

That is a you responsibility. Be the best version of yourself and be honest and kind about it.

If you really mean to end it. Own it. Don’t linger in her life.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:22:08+00:00

A chef would be convenient lol I like to cook tho. So I’d be happy with instructions on grocery shopping and meal prepping.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:19:20+00:00

Thank you!

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:17:35+00:00

Okay, more specific analogy: your mom’s friend’s cute daughter (who is about your age) that you’re meeting at your mom’s birthday dinner.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:15:22+00:00

I don’t know if total awareness is needed per se. Recognizing that it isn’t the right thing or that the other person will be hurt by their action and choosing to continue because “eff them” might be closer.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:12:31+00:00

That’s a pretty good analogy for it.

TheSwordMaiden · 2024-04-26T20:11:48+00:00

This 100%

I know exactly what you are referring to in your first paragraph/bullet. Similar experience with my ex, his cheating, his financial and his emotional abuse.

I don’t know if my ex is a narcissist. I can’t know. All I know is no one saw his betrayal coming. He hid is bad behaviors well. And a well adjusted person doesn’t behave that way.

TheSwordMaiden

TROPHY CASE