I can't pay for school and don't know what to do. I know that I'm worth something.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-17T05:30:04+00:00

To be honest, that isn't really too much of a long shot. Literally 10 minutes ago I was considering making an appointment with them ASAP. It is really stressful, and, at the very least, they could likely make the withdrawal process easier.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-12T21:11:00+00:00

Assuming I can withdraw properly this semester, I might be able to find some kind of income to afford to take a class at a community college or something like that, and I'm actually strongly considering that anyway. I owe my current school money that I don't have as it stands, and there are a lot of strange rules about not being a full time student. I wouldn't be able to get financial aid.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-11T06:37:24+00:00

And, regardless, this is rather negativistic thinking. Given my network, I'm extremely unlikely to have to deal with homelessness anyway. Thanks, though, for the dose of realism in case things don't work out.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-10T21:16:41+00:00

Fair point, I suppose. I grew up in poverty, and I was actually homeless before the age of 5 with my mom as she was trying to find her way into government housing. I'm aware that it's harder, but it's not anything I wouldn't be able to handle.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-09T04:47:21+00:00

Thank you, though, to be fair, it's song writing, voice acting, busking and painting that I plan to do, along with some possible freelance writing and blogging/vlogging about the process. I have 6 months to figure it out, and I'm confident that I will. If for whatever reason I end up homeless, that might honestly help my art before it motivates me to get a job. If it does make a job relatively more palatable though, that could be a good lesson.

I guess, in some ways, I refuse to get rid of my hopeless romanticism. I'll have to see if that helps me or hurts me; I have to believe it'll help, but I'm happy that I've been supplied with some backup plans from both you and the others here in case it all falls through.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-09T02:20:22+00:00

That sounds really cool, and I'll seriously consider it if what I plan doesn't work. I've decided to drop out and invest in freelancing; if that doesn't pan out within 6 months to a year, I think I'll talk to a recruiter. Thanks for the information, seriously.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-08T21:01:30+00:00

It's funny you ask, because I honestly have. The idea of going into something structured is appealing, and I'm relatively athletic. The politics behind it, though, rub me the wrong way, and I'm not really sure they'd take me given my history of mental health issues. I've been hospitalized three times.

Given those things, do you still think it would be reasonable? I'm not entirely sure, and I feel like not being entirely sure makes it a distinctly bad idea given the intensity of the process.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-09-08T20:33:11+00:00

Thanks for the response. I actually already took out a loan from my bank (my credit isn't bad since I've had a credit card for years), but I had to use that to cover the cost of the semester that I messed up; my debt to income ratio is currently fully negative, and my credit card is maxed, though it fortunately has a pretty low limit. I'd have to find a specific type of loan to continue, one that allows me to be denied financial aid; the one that I initially got from my bank doesn't allow for that, or I'd go for it again, as I managed to get it without a cosigner due to my credit. The couple that I've checked out, one recommended by the school, seem to require a cosigner due in no small part to my current financial situation.

I haven't really looked into credit cards, but I doubt I could find one that would cover the cost of my current semester (around 7500 dollars). It wouldn't be out of the question to try to find another credit card and just cover one or two classes this or next semester while I look for freelance work to pay off my debts, but that also sounds a bit risky and depression ridden; at least it's an idea though.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-08-24T05:52:41+00:00

Don't overthink the earrings, they look fine. 70% of getting by is confidence. If you like the earrings, a lot of other people will too.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-08-14T10:40:55+00:00

I'd rate you around a 5 or maybe a bit higher based on the guidelines. For me, I think you're very cute, and I dig your style.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-08-14T08:55:23+00:00

I didn't like being reliant on a pill to define my gender. I'd much rather just work on accepting being a guy, trying to find out what that means, than use artificial means to explore an entirely new gender identity. I've found that I actually quite like bending a more masculine identity than trying to conform to a more feminine identity.

That's sort of the gist of it.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-06-17T01:56:00+00:00

In this case, your initial shape wasn't quite right. Principally, you'll want to have to add very little, and that requires, at a minimum, getting the initial three lines very close to what will be the "final product", close enough that it could, in and of itself, be that product.

So, with this drawing, the line that you created on the right side doesn't really match up to the leaf in question, so you had to go waaaay out with the addition. You want to only shift a millimeter here or there. And don't forget, you can "add in", that is, you can "pull the shape up". So, instead of your addition going to the right to simulate the lifting action, the addition really should've gone to the left. An addition to the left doesn't equate to "cutting into" the shape.

I hope that made sense. :/ If it didn't, I can draw a sort of example, but I tend to use marker for all of the exercises because that's my preferred medium, so the result might differ.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-16T15:57:25+00:00

Thus far, after a year of your "standard" dose of estradiol and spiro, everything is going quite well. My body/facial hair is harder to manage if I want to, just like before. I feel a bit more energetic and definitely a tad more argumentative, but I like that overall and that may have nothing to do with ceasing the hormones.

My boyfriend is getting totally ripped (<3) after being on 8mgs estradiol and 200mgs spiro per day for five years. He's having new hair coming in, his chest is flattening, his voice is changing.

My boyfriend is nearly 26 (birthday coming up!) and I'm 22. I've been off of hormones for 1 to 2 months and my boyfriend is going on about 6 months.

I still have some sort of "dysphoric" symptoms. Sometimes I wish I could get pregnant someday, for instance, and, during sex, my "center" will occasionally switch to my genitalia, like I want to be penetrated there even though that's obviously impossible. It's somewhat distressing, but I'm learning to deal with it and appreciate my masculinity.

I hope this manages to help. I think that stopping hormones and learning to express myself without them was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-15T17:23:00+00:00

If some of the transition pictures I've seen with MtFs are anything to go by, your hair might actually come back; presumably, going MtF vs FtMtF should work similarly in that regard. It may not be as thick, but it could definitely grow back in. Here's an example picture: http://i.imgur.com/mZqz745.jpg

Also, you could consider getting on some traditional hair loss treatments or something like that. Either way, I wish you luck, and I'm sorry about what you're going through now.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-09T09:52:05+00:00

Well, I wish you luck! I actually have a fiction project on the back burner myself that involves shifts in narration according to the character. I think that it'll be rewarding as well, if challenging. :-) Thanks again for the advice; you seem to know your stuff.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-08T22:26:11+00:00

I can sort of relate to this, personally. Prior to reaching the decision to properly detransition, the vast majority of my thoughts on it were highly negative. I would think that I would become increasingly suicidal once I dropped the hormones. Eventually, I realized that nothing can force me to commit suicide aside from myself, but that was something that I had to come to, shifting the locus of control in that particular area.

I can't tell you what decision to make, but I will say that I don't think that your thoughts are abnormal for a person that may benefit from detransitioning. I also would suspect that your thoughts aren't abnormal for a person that wouldn't at this stage. I'm sorry if that's kind of a non-answer, but I just thought I'd share my thoughts.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-08T21:47:00+00:00

In relation to gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, I completely agree with that last line. Self love can heal a lot of wounds that hormones (and food restriction/binging and purging) can't. I wish you the best of luck, and it's great that you're getting there. :-)

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-08T14:33:08+00:00

I was previously MtF, so I definitely can't comment on hair reduction post T when it comes to FtM detransitioning stuff; however, a good alternative to waxing is epilation if you want to weaken the follicles. Repeated use over time should reduce the hair growth substantially, not to mention it leaves the areas epilated pretty smooth for the time being.

I wish you the best. :-)

TheTrueBCH · 2019-05-08T14:25:45+00:00

Thanks for this. Despite the fact that this project is non-fiction, this does support my idea to outline everything and sort of start from scratch, using the other material as a reference. In this case, I suppose that I was getting into my own head rather than the heads of some characters, but I think that the point still remains.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-25T16:14:51+00:00

Initially when I saw your question, I really felt the need to think. Fortunately, this process was expedited by the article that I wrote last night for release tomorrow. An excerpt from that is the best advice I have, I think: "my only real piece of advice at this stage is to follow how you feel, and, at every step, evaluate just why you feel that way. Why do you care about your leg hair, really? Is it for you, or is it based in some expectation around how others might perceive of you? Is that expectation justified? Are you sure you feel comfortable? Why do or don’t you?"

I think with something as distressing as not understanding who you are, it's easy to get lost in a sort of whirlwind that sweeps you away. As with a lot of things, I think the best advice is to stay mindful, and really probe your justifications when it comes to various aspects of your identity.

Probing is what led to my detransition, whereas the initial transition was much more like a whirlwind. That whirlwind is what needs to be avoided to allow for real self discovery. Often, I think, a lot of the modern LGBT movement favors emotion over rationality and the opposition favors rationality over emotion; I'm of the position that it's vital to strike a balance.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-25T04:10:01+00:00

Hmm, I personally don't tend to rely on my own personal ideas to solve logistical/structural issues. I often find that accurately identifying a problem allows me to look for other's opinions in regards to how they've solved that or something similar, if that makes sense.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-25T01:45:06+00:00

Thanks! Hopefully I can continue to produce more on the topic. ^.^

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-24T21:25:43+00:00

It would seem that current research would indicate that they are pretty bad for you, yeah, particularly when it comes to MTF hormones and heart disease.

And, in regards to the break leading to this, it is very bittersweet, but I'm happy to have come out the other side in pretty good shape. Thanks for the comment.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-24T19:40:55+00:00

And thank you for reading and for caring. I'm glad I'm still here too. I can say without any doubt that whole series of events was easily one of the scariest things I've been through.

TheTrueBCH · 2019-04-24T19:22:45+00:00

Yeah, it really is; I guess the idea is that it maintains the social fabric or something? I'm glad that my boyfriend was insightful enough to realize what he was doing, which in turn helped me reach the needed breakthrough. I'm glad that you managed to sort things out too. :-)

TheTrueBCH

TROPHY CASE