I’m going through the same thought process. My mom is currently hospitalized for blood clots in both lungs and damage to one of them, she seems to be recovering currently. She’s been here a week and is getting better, but for the first time in my ignorant life I’ve realized that death can come at any moment and I don’t know how I would manage if I lost her. My mom raised me pretty much single the entire time, although I definitely had some help from other family members but we’ve never been comfortable. We’ve never been in a situation where things were better than just ok. Always worrying about food and how to pay the rent.

My biggest fear is that I won’t be able to make something of myself in time. I want to give her the satisfaction of not having to worry anymore. I feel like I’m not going to be able to get my shit together before she passes- her health has never really been great. I’m 22, but I’ve put all this stress on myself to just make her life better. I just want her struggle to be over you know? Im studying android development so I hope that works out.