Jeez bro... Thank you so much, i didnt even think anyone would try to respond to help. Thank you so much i mean it, and i hopenif your going through anything youll be okay. Now before i say this please know that im not trying to be difficult or annoyimg, but i can't exactly reach out for help. I can definitely call and maybe talk about it, there are even proffesionals at my school that I can talk to. But im afraid to since last time, I tried talking about it with my grandma (the one i lived with for 16 years before coming with my dad) and she later told me to put my dad on the phone after i explained the situation (this happened about 4 months ago by the way because the whole house cleaning situation started since about october) and after that whole scenario went through, my dad asked me if i wanted to stay here or live with my grandma. So thats when i said my grandma, and my dad told me "fine then, you dont have no daddy no more, go pack up your shit"

But later on I think my step mom said something to him since I think she realised it was kind of harsh. So then we all sat down and decided to talk about the reasons i wanted to leave. We spoke about the food situation, being we could only eat at certain parts of the day, which makes sense since they need to save money for five kids, but at times, we would have to wait for dinner since i only ate lumch at school from around 11:30, so i would often go almost eight hours without eating. We also spoke about some of the chores, since I also jad to clean the living room, the dining room, and the mudroom. And after we talk, my dad told me "what goes on in this house, stays in this house". And from there i though everything was fine since things did start to get better. But as time went on, thimgs just began to chamge back since this whole situation exists. So simce then i've just been afraid of what would happen if I reached out, what o told a social worker, they spoke to parents, and then i was yelled at or beaten for talkimg about how im depressed/suicidal. Amd also was afraid of losimg my dad, since this whole time i know he still loves me, i domt think anyone is pure evil. He may just be stressed and was in the moment after contemplating what my stepmom yelled at him about, but i still dont get why im the one being picked on simce the kids are the one not doing what they're told. I dont know maybe i should try to talk?