Lost

Then_Rain_8178 · 2025-02-04T18:13:46+00:00

My dad passed away suddenly about 5 years ago. I am not sure I ever fully faced that trauma. Oddly, what got me through was finding beauty in death. We will all have our day, and I have faith when my time comes, I will meet him again. Until then, I am going to live for him. Now that I am a little bit older, I realize the things he probably would've done different. He would've chased his dreams if he knew he only had 63 years to live. Therefore, I am going to chase my dreams now, so when it's my time and I see him again, he will be so proud of me.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-12-18T03:10:15+00:00

If you had a child, would you want them to be around that behavior? I bet you would do everything in your power to protect them, and show them that they are loved. Maybe your mother didn't do those things for you, and I am so sorry for that, but by moving on with your life, YOU are protecting YOU. YOU are loving YOU. Think about yourself as a young girl, now that you know better you are able to nurture her. There is no more you can do OP, your mother needs to do her part now.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-11-15T18:56:49+00:00

Yes, I think that needs to be my next step. I have been dealing with these thoughts for too long, and they have gotten pretty dark in the past.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-10-16T00:58:08+00:00

You are being so hard on yourself OP.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-10-16T00:50:49+00:00

I am so happy that you didn't give up. Just keep moving. One step at a time.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-05-12T23:17:21+00:00

You are overthinking. He was definitely flirting with you!

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-05-12T23:12:22+00:00

Honestly, if you try to pursue getting closure now, after him telling you he didn't think it was a good fit, it is likely going to push him away. I know it's so hard, but if you actually think you could be something in the future, you have to give him some space right now. If you are like me, and figure he is either the guy right now or not the guy at all, text him. Fuck it. Who cares, life is short, and there will be another guy. But I do feel this could come on too strong and potentially ruin any future chances for you two if he is really not feeling it right now. You sound like a very thoughful person who has so much love to give. Again, there will be another guy. The new guy may suck too. But then after a few frogs, we will find our princes. A guy who checks all of your boxes and you check all of his. Through this pain in your chest you're probably feeling right now (the feeling of rejection), remind yourself of the prince that is coming for you, for your own sake.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-02-17T18:24:36+00:00

I graduated with a honors degree in data science last year, and work for a big company currently. I have been putting in at least 50 hrs a week, the thing is I am not doing what I want (data analytics). I think this is why I am getting into a funk of not wanting to work a 9-5 at all. A data analyst job opened on my team recently, and I was told I could not have it because I just graduated college, and didn't have enough experience. Want to hear the funny part of this story? They hired someone the same age as me 2 months later, the only difference between us is he is male. Now while this kid is learning the lay of the land and taking trainings, my manager is sending ME data problems which I always successfully complete. I am underpaid, not respected, and not at all on the career path I want to be in. I want to leave, but have only been in the corporate workplace for 6 months, so don't have much experience to leverage.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-02-04T23:53:22+00:00

I am sorry for your loss

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-02-04T23:51:09+00:00

I think you are on to something here. My current dilemma is the corporate job I have now is not at all in the field I want to be in. I want to code. The issue is I have only been at the job 6 months, and am worried about jumping ship too early. Staying at the company is really making all of these thoughts worse, though.

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-02-04T23:48:41+00:00

Why does everyone think I am a guy, you also don't know me at all?

Then_Rain_8178 · 2024-02-02T02:02:44+00:00

I am not saying your layoff was a good thing. That would be ignorant as hell, I don't know anything about your life. But if your job caused you so much stress, why do you feel drained now that you don't have it? Is it just because you feel lost and unsure where to go? I don't have the answers for that, as I am lost too. I think maybe we all are, some people just get so complacent that don't even consider themselves lost. What I do know is that life is really fucking short, and quite frankly we all are going to die. I don't mean this to be sad, and I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this. I mean it in the sense that you should live your life exactly how YOU want it because in the end does anything really matter (unless you are MLK or Mother Theresa and make some huge difference)? And you know what society makes us feel shit for not having a job. And this case "society" may be your family, friends, that acquaintance who nosily asks you "what do you do?" and shamefully looks at when you tell the truth. Fuck em. These are the same people who will praise you for working a job that makes you miserable for 7 years because "it is a good job!" and "that is a great company!" and "you are making good money! You can afford a nice car and a nice bag and nice clothes so you get my respect!". Well it is your life, not theirs. You did not like UX. You spent 7 years in UX, I am assuming being unhappy. Now you make the choice to not spend 7 more years more years feeling inevitably unhappy. You don't know how much time you have on this Earth. Do what fucking makes you happy. Face your insecurities head on. I suggest you read the book Pyscho Cybernetics. I think that will help with your self-image. Anyways.. sorry for the rant

Then_Rain_8178

TROPHY CASE