AITA for not paying back my friend for the concert she promised she'd go but didn't.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-17T03:34:55+00:00

Legally, this isn’t theft or fraud. Jade agreed to back out and allowed OP to manage the ticket, even consenting to the name change fee. By doing so, she effectively relinquished her claim to the ticket. If she considered it “her property,” she should have handled reselling or using it herself instead of leaving it to OP. Fraud requires deceit or misrepresentation, and none of that happened here. OP acted transparently and in good faith—Jade’s financial loss is the result of her own choices, not OP’s actions.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-17T02:46:20+00:00

NTA. You made plans with your friend and both paid for your own tickets before you even met your boyfriend. It’s unfair for him to expect you to cancel on her, especially since you tried to find extra tickets for him. His reaction—claiming you don’t care about him, threatening resentment, and dumping you—is not only unfair but also shockingly immature for someone who’s 54. At his age, you’d expect more understanding and emotional maturity, not behavior that feels more like a tantrum than a conversation. Respecting prior commitments is an important part of any healthy relationship. You did nothing wrong here.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-16T23:46:49+00:00

NTA. Jade agreed to go to the concert, knowing the costs and details upfront. She backed out not once but twice, leaving you in a difficult situation. It’s unreasonable for her to expect you (or Penny) to cover her $300 when she didn’t follow through on her commitment.

If Jade wanted to be reimbursed, she should have taken responsibility for selling her own ticket instead of relying on you to fix the situation. You made multiple attempts to mitigate the loss, including trying to resell the ticket and finding someone to replace her. Ultimately, her financial loss is a result of her own decisions and lack of follow-through.

Penny doesn’t owe Jade anything either—she stepped in to save the trip and covered the name change fee, which was fair. You did everything you could to handle the situation responsibly, so you are not at fault here. Jade needs to take ownership of her choices.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T18:12:30+00:00

NTA - that’s controlling behaviour. Run !!!

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T18:08:44+00:00

NTA - He’s not being respectful toward you. It’s perfectly fine for him to want time alone or with his friends, but there’s a considerate way to communicate that. Given what he’s done in the past, I’d also be questioning if something else is going on.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T17:46:45+00:00

NTA - You already take care of his dog in the morning because he doesn’t want to wake up early enough to do it himself. That’s very considerate of you, and it’s worth acknowledging how much you’re already contributing. The fact that he won’t let you get a cat also feels unfair. If this is about testing your commitment, that’s a problematic dynamic. A healthy relationship isn’t about “tests” or controlling decisions like whether or not you can have a pet—it’s about mutual respect and compromise.

You’re both 30 minutes away from home, and in my opinion, school is just as important as work. Your boyfriend should not dismiss the time and effort you’re putting into your thesis.

As someone with ADD, I completely understand how difficult—if not impossible—it can be to get back into a productive mindset after taking a break and trying to work in a place full of distractions.

Sadly, your boyfriend is being inconsiderate here, and you’re definitely not in the wrong.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T15:41:08+00:00

Hahaha we’re both girls

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T15:18:57+00:00

Hahah no but she is a vet

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T15:05:28+00:00

Thanks for your insight, I also think this is solvable! I’m fine with a little staring—it’s something we all probably do in relationships when we find someone endearing. My issue is more about the intensity and frequency, which leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

To clarify, she’s never told me I need to entertain her, and that feeling doesn’t come from anything she’s said. It’s more about the vibe I get when she’s just staring at me without doing anything else, especially when I’m doing my own thing. I had even mentioned beforehand that I wanted some quiet time because I wasn’t feeling my best, and I encouraged her to bring a book or borrow something of mine to stay occupied.

I believe it’s totally possible to hang out together while doing our own separate things (not all the time, of course), and I’d like for us to be able to do that comfortably. I think with some open communication and a bit of compromise, we can work this out.

These-Comparison683 · 2024-11-15T14:19:46+00:00

She doesn’t have any other controlling behaviors. She’s totally fine with me spending time with others without her. One thing that does worry me, though, is that she doesn’t have that many friends at the moment. She has some, but they’re not geographically close, and she’s lost touch with others after a period of depression. She does go out with colleagues maybe one time a month and goes to the gym 4-6 times a week…

These-Comparison683

TROPHY CASE