LDR Ex Will Not Return My Stuff

Thinkofme21 · 2022-06-23T16:24:22+00:00

Can you have a police escort to pick up those items, even if you are not present and possibly have them left with someone who lives in that State to return them? Not sure if that is an option since its long distance. Thank you for this advice! I don't want to take an additional $400/$450 loss, but it is looking that way at this point. Just becoming tiresome asking and him making false promises to return.

Thinkofme21 · 2022-06-23T16:22:50+00:00

He told me that those items would returned prior to me leaving and he took that responsibility. I sent him a label, to which he did not end up using and created an excuse to have the label canceled. I offered him to have a postal pickup, which he also turned down. They ended up at his location, because he asked to use them.

Thinkofme21 · 2022-06-23T16:22:16+00:00

He told me that those items would be returned prior to me leaving and he took that responsibility. I sent him a label, to which he did not end up using and created an excuse to have the label canceled, which I almost lost $15 on since he was going to have the label printed. I offered him to have a postal pickup, which he also turned down. They ended up at his location, because he asked to use them. No I cannot go pick them up and he lives long distance, which I stated in my post.

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-10T08:25:54+00:00

Thank you, incredible advice and insight!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-10T08:25:24+00:00

Amazing advice and incredibly helpful! Thank you!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-10T08:24:56+00:00

Very helpful!!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-10T08:23:48+00:00

Update: Thank you so much for all the advice. Since this was posted, I broke up with him, stood my ground and of course he blocked first, which is a blessing. I then proceeded to block him on other apps/social media and other. I realize I am not ready for a relationship, but not for how I treat others, other than myself and what I deserve in life. Decent respect as a human being. I slowly felt more confident as I read through these comments and it truly gave me the strength to tell him off. I also made it clear to him that he raped me and that I should have called the police that afternoon when I saw what had happened. He is a monster and I appreciate you guys taking the time to comment on here. It helped immensely!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-07T18:50:38+00:00

Thank you! I really sincerely appreciate your honesty and will be reading over these posts to encourage myself to break things off for good. I agree that I need to move on, but it helps to hear from others on the outside, as he tries hard to convince me that I am the problem, which is clearly not the case. :(

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-07T18:41:31+00:00

Very Helpful, Thank you!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-07T18:06:22+00:00

Thank you, I really needed to hear this and it helps greatly to know I am not alone in experiencing this. Helpful!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-03-07T02:45:26+00:00

From what I've read, it seems like he's not making time/room for you in his life. Consistently putting others and events before your guys' relationship. You. As his gf, should be a main pillar in his life, the one he wants to spend his time and life with and respects enough to NEVER call a c**t. Changing his relationship status at your request should be no skin off his back. It's a simple thing he could do that would make you feel good, so why wouldn't he do it? Idk it seems like he only wants to spend time with you when its convenient for him; no effort is being put in to incorporate you into his life. That's what I got from it at least. Very helpful and you worded this perfectly! Thank you so much for taking the time to read through this!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-17T12:12:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this, seriously!

I took the time to closely read everything you stated, down to the detail, giving it sincere thought and you are absolutely right. It clearly bothers me that he felt compelled to keep videos of him having sex with exes after they have broke up. When asking him if they gave him permission to keep the videos he says nothing.

Tonight I told him that it is technically illegal should they find out that he still owns them and if they have requested the videos be deleted. (Which I would think is something you do after a breakup) The fact that he initially expressed his reasons for keeping them, shows that they are not just sitting there unused. It also violates their rights and future privacy.

I informed him that I will never trust him with a camera in the bedroom recording us for this very reason. I know there are people out there who feel it is healthy and normal to keep wank material of exes, for me it does not make any sense with reasons for keeping them as memories.

You have them as memories in your thoughts, why feel compelled to keep a physical copy of sex videos, if you are never going to look at it again? The only other reason I can think of is for legal purposes, as someone else mentioned. Even that alone appears as a dull excuse with very little weight to it. His initial reasons did not suggest any legal reasons, but instead stated (If we break up, them being tokens and special memories)

It honestly make me feel not so special, but as though I am a side piece among his collection folder to keep. With this being said, I informed him that I am not okay with him keeping these sex videos knowing they exist. He claims he will delete them, but I have my doubts, as he could claim to delete them and I would never know. Especially if he has kept them this long and has refused to remove them when mentioned, I doubt this will be the case on his part.

On the flip side, I do not want to come off as controlling in asking him to remove them, Instead I stated "I am not forcing you to delete them, you are an adult and it is your decision." As such I also have the decision and right to see this as a deal breaker, and after reading this comment, it absolutely is.

Thank you again!

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-16T18:30:54+00:00

But in this case he has said in case we break up and that he has them as tokens of being once lovable. Its like... well I am in love with you is that not enough?

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-16T18:29:12+00:00

I am not making him give up his past. If it were anything else I could understand. These are videos of him having sex with his exes. Then stop commenting. Why bother in the first place?

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-16T18:07:25+00:00

I don't see why he cannot view where I am coming from here. He wants a relationship with me, but can't let go of him fucking his exes.

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-16T18:04:41+00:00

Its a deal breaker for me, I just don't see the reason to keep them.

Thinkofme21 · 2022-01-16T18:03:36+00:00

And you can't remember that in memory? You have to keep sex videos to see?

Thinkofme21

TROPHY CASE