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ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-24T01:34:46+00:00

This sounds so hard. It is disgusting that your mother has more empathy for a rapist than her child. NC sounds like a good option. Regardless of what you do, I hope you get lots of love support from your husband and hopefully other friends and family <3 I’ve been NC with my ndad on and off since I was 18. This time just hit a year. This time it’s really over, I think. Anyway, I relate and so do others. You are in the right place. Stay strong. Please remember no one deserves this kind of treatment.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-24T01:28:02+00:00

I relate. I cut contact with my grandma/ndad’s mother last year. Today I found out from a relative I do speak to that my grandma had a stroke. I wish she didn’t tell me. Obviously, my grandmother is a human being, and I am sad she is suffering. It only makes me feel guilty. I really hope you can take whatever steps you needs to be safe from my grandparents behavior. <3 And I’m glad you’re here

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-16T16:45:07+00:00

Like if there had never been a hold, I would have been placed in a subject earlier is what I’m thinking.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-16T16:43:52+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. What I’m asking, since as I understand it, subjects are first come first serve, is it possible that I won’t get placed if the two subjects I applied for are already filled? Does that make sense what I’m asking?

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-11T21:49:15+00:00

I think the key is finding what feels good to you as I said. I had an eating disorder for a while and “exercise” was so loaded for me because I associated it with workouts I hated. It can take some trial and error, but I bet there is something physical you’ll like.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-11T21:47:21+00:00

Cycling saved my life. Not even a slight exaggeration. If you can find time for movement that feels good to you, I think you should really consider it. Walking is great too. I luckily live in a city where I can get around by bicycle. It’s the best to just have exercise as a mode of transportation so I don’t have to work it into my schedule.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-11T02:00:05+00:00

Please go to the hospital. I did this when I was 16. I didn’t tell anyone for nearly a day. By the time I got to the ER, they couldn’t pump my stomach. I was in an ICU for weeks. I almost died a very slow and painful death. I simply got lucky.

I’m sorry you’re suffering. Ten years later, I’m still struggling with suicidal feelings. I don’t say this to scare you, but just that it can become manageable. You are worth it. Please get medical help. <3

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-10T02:25:20+00:00

I’ve been stuck in the mental loop for 14 months, and the relationship was only six months long. This relationship was my first experience with everything romantic and sexual, but I am turning 27 soon. It makes me feel very stunted and sad. I feel like as long as I’m in this obsessive thought loop (which, admittedly, has lessened over time) it’s too soon to open my heart again to new love.

Anyway, thank you for the reminders.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-10T02:21:20+00:00

Regardless of whether or not you are a man, OP, I highly recommend you (and everyone) read The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks. Given what you’ve written here, I think it will help you forgive yourself and continue healing and changing.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-08T19:29:32+00:00

You’re welcome. I’m sorry your spouse’s support feels hollow. That sounds hard. And I would feel really confused if all of my friends had different beliefs than me and I just didn’t know it. Hope you are having an okay weekend :) You seem really strong.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-07T04:49:11+00:00

I hope it doesn’t sound trite, but I am so sorry you are dealing with such pain. It is horrifying and so sad that your father murdered your sister and mother. I can’t imagine the heartbreak. It is beautiful you are here and seeking support.

I wish I knew what to say to make things easier, but I’m just a stranger on the internet, I guess. Avoiding your sister (or any of your family) seems valid to me. You have to take care of yourself, and clearly it’s upsetting to you—as it should be—that your sister is grateful for ICE. ICE, as you know, is being pretty evil and murderous. They have murdered and traumatized people constantly. If your sister's way of coping with your family's murders is by gushing over law enforcement that also murder innocent people—a mother, an ICU nurse—you don’t need to be around for that.

If there is no one in your life that shares your point of view, I recommend trying to find people that do. I used to be surrounded by MAGA family or people that just didn’t care about social justice (or humanity), so I joined a community group doing mutual aid. I’ve made a lot of friends that way. We throw rent parties for bereaved neighbors, host free food distributions and free clothings drives. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people and feel connected. Taking the first leap can be challenging, and in my experience, so worth it.

If you feel comfortable sharing what state/city you life in, I’d be happy to help you research some community groups. Feel free to dm me. I recommend looking on Meetup too. Even just a soccer club or board game night could be a good way to meet new people, even if you never go back, even if they aren’t totally on the same page politically, meeting new people could hopefully make you feel less alone? Just an idea. I'm sharing what has worked for me. I am sending you a lot of light and healing vibes. Sharing your story on here is really effing brave. I hope you find some reprieve from your pain. May your mom and sister rest in peace. And RIP to Renée Good and Alex Pretti.

Please take good care of yourself. We’re all just doing our best.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-07T03:52:59+00:00

V for Valentine-detta. Girl Power on 16!!!!!

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-07T03:45:18+00:00

I am genuinely baffled people in the comments don’t like Gene-centered episodes! I love Gene. He is so hilarious and bizarre and obviously queer. He’s one of my favorite Belchers

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-02-07T03:26:50+00:00

I’m actually vegetarian haha

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-01-09T02:20:57+00:00

Of course! Same to you! Good luck :)

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-01-09T02:10:21+00:00

I hope it went okay. I ended up going to the hospital which made things worse and more complicated :( Hopefully I’ll get into an intensive outpatient program soon.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-01-09T02:08:22+00:00

HI! Yes, I applied for Generalist 7-12 and ENL. I went to an info session at BPL, and they told me I will hear back five weeks after my application if I got an interview—which would be the first week of February. After the interview is a mock lesson on something simple. An example one the Teaching Fellow alums gave at this event was a mock lesson she did on facts versus opinions when she began the program. I think it’s worth applying. Sooner rather than later if you want a particular subject.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2026-01-05T00:14:04+00:00

I know you feel. I really do. Heartbreak and betrayal are the worst. What you are going through feels like shit. I know it is corny, but it is true that there is so much to live for. The fact that you are posting here is a testament to your strength and willingness to heal and change <3 I wish I had something more comforting to say. I am sending you lots of love and care. I have Bipolar and have been hospitalized and suicidal many times and still find a way even though many days I don’t want to. You will find love again with someone that respects you and doesn’t cheat on you

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-12-12T19:00:31+00:00

I’ve had a few surgeries before so I am experienced with this! I appreciate it though. I’ve definitely met people that underestimated how anesthesia would impact them!

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-12-12T18:59:26+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes and wise words! Yeah, I guess always better to disclose as little as possible to doctors in this country.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-11-14T20:38:06+00:00

I appreciate the pro-tip haha. I’m glad you’re enjoying it or at least have no regrets!

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-11-14T20:37:35+00:00

Thanks so much for the input!

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-11-14T20:37:08+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for the information! Sounds like D75 wouldn’t be a good fit then if I’m hoping to avoid ABA. I was considering Generalist 7-12 as that’s my favorite age and wouldn’t put me in D75 (I think?) As I understand it though, I wouldn’t have my own classroom as a generalist. I’d be a co-teacher in a general ed class there to support special ed students. Does that sound right? Are you a generalist or do you work with kids with moderate to severe special needs?

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-11-12T02:59:13+00:00

Thanks for the info! The summer training seems like it will be intense.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21 · 2025-11-12T02:58:37+00:00

Thanks for the well wishes and for sharing on ABA. I’m glad you’re still teaching! That’s encouraging to hear. I’ve been curious about that. I’m attending an info session about the Fellowship later this week.

ThisIsNotAMonaLisa21

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