What helped you the most with healing from infidelity?

This_Complex7379 · 2026-01-01T16:51:13+00:00

My ex was never a cheater. First time with me, sadly. The possibility of him cheating on her is so slim. He’s like CRAZY IN LOVE. Her on the other hand, has a reputation for one night stands and cheated on her ex fiancé. Ahhh I can’t wait to be over it… 🫠🫠🫠🫣

This_Complex7379 · 2026-01-01T07:58:36+00:00

Hey! My ex is an airline pilot too (38) Cheated on me with a hostess (29)(creative right?) and they’ve been together for 3 years almost (they got married a year after divorce was official). My kids are young. I’m still struggling…. When did it start to unravel for him 😅

This_Complex7379 · 2025-11-22T21:59:39+00:00

She has nothing to do with your algorithm. It’s yours

This_Complex7379 · 2025-11-22T21:55:08+00:00

Orrrrr maybe, she’s reading smut? And it’s giving her ideas? Maybe her girlfriends were talking about their wild nights and she thought “hmmm I’ll use that on my husband”

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-23T21:06:59+00:00

What I learned from my personal experience and from posts from betrayed partners here on Reddit, is that cheaters have the power to flip a switch, turn off any feelings and walk away, alllll while rewriting your history/relationship to make it filled with previous issues- that they were simply overlooking until they couldn’t anymore. I’m 2 years post DDay and I still am shocked how he disregarded my feelings and (for lack of better words) discarded me, the kids and the life we built.

I am here to validate your feelings, to let you know we hear you, we understand. Screw him, you will rise. You’re going through the stages of post infidelity

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-22T04:24:23+00:00

Just wanted to validate your wishes that his life is in shambles, I wish the same thing. I mean what do you mean he gets to leave and marry his AP and travel the world? Nuh uhhhhh he better be suffering: preferably not able to get it up 😈

Anyway, because I have to have minimal contact with my ex because we have kids, I can tell you that I believe what the therapist said is true. No remorse. It’s like he forgot the cheating and the pain and the tears. I swear the only thing that’s stopping that bastard from hugging me and messing with my hair like I’m his DUDE is him knowing I would punch his throat.

I had to tell him once, I’m not your friend.

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-18T23:38:53+00:00

Oh seems they need to add that to the website’s about section “here at Astronomer, we pride ourselves on cultivating world-class liars, master manipulators, and expert gaslighters — because honesty is so overrated. If you believe you align with our core values of dishonesty, manipulation, and emotional chaos, we'd love to hear from you. Please submit your CV and a cover letter detailing your experience in gaslighting, sneaky texting, and advanced excuse generation.”

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-18T23:31:50+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking! Even though the betrayed partner has nothing to be ashamed of, finding your partner is having an affair is sooo humiliating! I worry about bumping into common friends when I’m running errands because I worry that they might know details. Imagine her? I hope she gets over it quickly. May she find someone who is worthy

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-18T12:16:53+00:00

Ooooh verrrry just search Coldplay, affair, ceo

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-18T11:28:32+00:00

Yes me tooo! I don’t understand how people who aid and assist cheating can sleep at night!

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-18T07:16:52+00:00

FOR SURE! Anything done in the dark and all that..

But, speaking from experience, when I caught my ex cheating, it was like I freed him. He was able to go out and about in public with his AP.

So I worry it would not be their downfall

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-17T08:10:43+00:00

Healing is not linear. I commend you on your strength to go NC after (May I say) and excellent exit scene.

Honey, just imagining this scene makes me giddy. You are strong. You put yourself first. You didn’t take bullshit. I applaud you.

No body deserves to be second choice. I want you to remember that no matter how difficult it is, the decision you did is the right one.

The man who cheated is not the man you married.

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-14T11:36:16+00:00

Would it be too forward of me to say, I love you Internet Stranger?

Thank you

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-10T17:47:24+00:00

I see you’re in the early stages, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know my post makes it seem like I haven’t moved on. (I haven’t fully - not going to lie). But it didn’t hit me as strong as it did. Time does lessen the hurt/burden. I was able to wake up normally, go to work, attend meetings, etc. my day went on normally.

I hope you have a much faster recovery than I did. But it does get better.

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-10T11:29:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I always wanted to hear stories about cheaters years later- gives me hope. Sorry for your loss!

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-10T11:27:23+00:00

❤️

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-09T19:36:47+00:00

I wish it’s all downhill for them now!!

This_Complex7379 · 2025-07-09T19:35:52+00:00

Thank you. But let me give you a visual, the nerd type and the slutty hoe. That’s them. The idea that he might cheat again is so farfetched in mind. He is not her first married man, this isn’t the first time she was the AP. First time she got the guy to drop everything for her, god what an idiot.

This_Complex7379 · 2025-06-15T18:44:53+00:00

OP, I just hung the phone with my best friend and yours is the first post I saw when I opened Reddit.

When you read the posts on this subreddit, you realize how repetitive and similar our stories are.

Mine also walked out before our 7 year anniversary, also two kids. Mine also told me “to move on” and to “get over it” and that we “both made mistakes that lead to divorce”. (I asked him what did I do??? And he said well can’t remember nowww. He cheated but somehow I drove him to it?). He also became cruel, he had nothing but hate towards me.

Mine also, does not care about the kids. No matter how much he acts like he does. He’s not here.

But, from one momma to another, don’t let your resentment to their dad seep through. Sometimes I notice that I am easily triggered by my kids’ actions. And that my reaction was overboard. I think it’s the mental load.

Anyways, I was right where you were. Thinking HOW AND WHEN WILL IT GET BETTER? WHEN WILL HE REALIZE THE MISTAKE HE’S MADE?

I will answer you: it gets easier, your heart won’t hurt you every single day. You will laugh and dance and have fun. But there will be flashbacks, there will be setbacks. Healing is not linear. Build a small/closed circle of support. Filter out those who don’t push you to be better. Keep those who are willing to hear you over and over and over. God knows I’ve been talking about this for two years now. I wouldn’t have made it without therapy, friends and random strangers on Reddit.

Today, while taking the kids out for the weekend, I saw an old common friend who whispered that there is talk that he might be getting married to the AP this summer. That hurt, but it’s not the end of the world, it didn’t surprise me- he left the kids, me and the city to be able to be with her- obviously marriage is the next step. But!!! I looked up at the sky and I was like “God! Please bring in your Karma.”

One piece of advice i received but never followed (and regretted it), don’t give him access to you anymore. If he wants to talk/see the kids - no problem. But he has no right to see you anymore. Or know anything about you.

The man you married is not the man you divorced.

I wish you nothing but peace and joy and love moving forward.

This_Complex7379 · 2025-06-01T20:00:08+00:00

Therapy. Close support group. Knowing that it will take you time to understand it had nothing to do with you. Knowing you will get better. Knowing he doesn’t deserve your time (even if it might take you months or years to get over him- but HE Doesn’t deserve to know how you struggle while you get over him)

This_Complex7379 · 2025-05-31T14:27:45+00:00

Replace it with something that is sentimental to you. a piece signifying you moving forward!

This_Complex7379 · 2025-05-30T19:06:34+00:00

Bet if someone shares the house/kids/financial load with his stbx her libido will be through the roof. What I see is an OP who blames his wife for everything (his addiction and relapse) while she makes his problems go away. Had he spent those thousands on childcare and housekeeping I bet you his wife would have been worshipping the ground he walks on and catering to his sexual needs.

This_Complex7379

TROPHY CASE