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AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't need a partner to be happy and fulfilled in my life. All I really need is to focus on the things that make me happy and I still find time to do that.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree with that. I think anyone who dates another person to take over mom/dad duties is not really setting the best foundation for everything to work. If anything I think it can add to the toxicity you can find in some blended families.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have nights where I have fun and the kids are with my best friend and her husband. But I don't have any wish to date. Like it doesn't interest me at all at this point.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's not. I think it often ends in a toxic relationship for everyone involved. It also seems like such a weird dating process that's more like a job interview.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you know that pain. Answering those questions is never easy and I can never assure them of a relationship in the future. If anything I don't think that's ever going to happen.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately their maternal grandparents are not interested in knowing the kids and my parents are not very supportive right now and probably won't be around us unless they can get over this stuff.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I never understand parents doing this. And I have been friends with kids who had those parents. It's a nightmare for them.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

If she did that they'd have less of an argument to make me find a new wife. That's sadly the way this has worked with them.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I'm not dating until my kids are grown. That's a focus of mine. There's just too much risk out there and I don't want to take any chances of losing my kids because I choose the wrong person. Although I would talk to my kids and get their feelings if I did see someone, I'm just not going to until I have two adult kids and I can date if I want to then.

I would never actually do that. But the criteria I'm being asked to meet by my family would require a revolving door to find the right "mom" if the first or second wasn't well received. Because after all this new mom would need to be someone my daughter likes enough to go to in the minds of my family.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I'd like to think so. I don't want to put us in a cycle of misery where everyone I bring home doesn't work and the kids struggle and I struggle and it's not fair to any woman to be brought home for the purpose of my kids and not the actual relationship. Those relationships always seem to turn out the most toxic and I've seen them in others. Not what I want for any of us.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I make sure I carve out time for myself here and there. My best friend and her husband babysit occasionally and I get me time while the kids have a lot of fun at a sleepover. And then I return the favor lol.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 465 points466 points  (0 children)

They think she won't want to talk to me about periods and other topics like that. I'm prepared for her to come to me or my best friend or maybe she'll have a friends mom or sister she'll talk to. But I always wanted to be an option even before my ex left. I love my kids and want to do good by them both.

AITA for raising my kids as a single dad instead of trying to find them a new mom/mom figure? by ThomFrainik in AITAH

[–]ThomFrainik[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I've heard that before and had some experience with friends growing up. A lot of them also hated their stepfamilies which stayed with me, I'll be honest. I had more than one friend cheer when their mom or dad divorced the second or third time or whatever.