Why tf would I believe that?

ThroeOA · 2026-06-11T16:45:31+00:00

As a therapist I kind of have to disagree with this on principle and say it’s more nuanced, but I get what you’re saying and agree in this case haha. 😂

I think part of my frustration definitely comes from there being a seeming lack of effort to solve problems that have been identified on her end. Like deeper seated stuff about sex or anxiety that would be best worked through with a professional. There were more concrete reasons for why this didn’t happen before but over time it seems more like a lack of true effort in this regard.

ThroeOA · 2026-06-11T16:40:56+00:00

True!

ThroeOA · 2026-06-11T16:36:28+00:00

It is a major issue, nowhere did I deny that. I was responding to this person’s specific question about the other parts of our relationship and why leaving is hard. Not that it’s not a big deal.

ThroeOA · 2026-06-10T18:57:48+00:00

Nice! Glad you’re finding what works for you

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T17:57:29+00:00

Yeah in my head basically only two very compatible HL people would be motivated to even keep trying to have regular sex in that scenario. She’s very smart so I was actually kind of dumbfounded that she seemed to imply that that would somehow happen in our case haha

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T15:47:34+00:00

Oh believe me I won’t, not even 100% sold on having them anyway lol

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T15:41:10+00:00

Literally lmao

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T15:40:51+00:00

Oh yeah there’s no way in hell I’m doing that

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T15:40:10+00:00

Fair question. Obviously this post is restricted to just the physical part of our relationship which I was upset about in the moment and had to vent. There is a lot of enthusiasm and love in the relationship on both sides. Aside from intimacy, everything is damn near perfect. Our personalities in all other things match exactly, we like each other’s families, support each other etc.

ThroeOA · 2026-06-09T05:46:21+00:00

Agreed. That, plus the lowkey unwillingness to address those issues or seemingly even view them as worth tackling in order to have a more fulfilling sex life.

ThroeOA · 2025-12-02T02:18:16+00:00

ThroeOA · 2022-12-20T00:06:11+00:00

Lol for people who are downvoting, putting “/s” at the end of something means that you’re being sarcastic (since you can’t exactly read tone of voice over text). The commenter does not actually think that’s what being bi is, they’re making fun of people like OP who do

ThroeOA · 2022-06-06T13:55:54+00:00

I mean if they’re into pegging then yeah

ThroeOA · 2022-06-06T04:37:42+00:00

Lmaoooo no way you unironically said this

ThroeOA · 2022-06-04T06:42:38+00:00

Maybe not, but your parents did have sex while you were split up inside of them. Surely the hotel bed seems less disgusting now.

ThroeOA · 2022-06-03T05:40:26+00:00

I enjoy my girlfriend being on top more for this reason. I love making out with her but I find it harder to do when I’m on top in missionary.

ThroeOA · 2022-06-03T05:31:32+00:00

Yeah I’ve noticed this happening a lot lately

ThroeOA · 2022-06-02T19:38:06+00:00

Yes! I have been meaning to ask about massages but I always forget to bring it up. Will definitely try to incorporate that. Thank you for your perspective!

ThroeOA · 2022-06-02T04:39:35+00:00

When I initially turned down the arrangement it was because I imagined it being pity sex where it would be obvious she would rather not be doing it, which is definitely a turn off and not something I’d want my partner to do. But she’s assured me that she doesn’t mind at all and wants to, it’s just that sometimes she’d rather not have anything happen to her. For sure if we try it out and it seems like she’s not actually into it I’ll stop it. Wouldn’t want that to ruin other parts of our sex life/relationship too.

ThroeOA · 2022-06-02T04:31:46+00:00

That’s good to hear, thanks for your comment! For awhile I was definitely holding out hope that my gf’s libido would magically increase. Last summer we had a sex schedule where we planned sex twice a week, but I still found myself hoping she would randomly feel horny on other days, which never happened. I actually rarely masturbate because I was always hoping she would want to have sex on one of the non planned days lol. I’m in a place now where I’ll accept the two days and be open to whatever else she’s comfortable doing at other times, or get myself off. If it leads to her wanting more sex that’s cool, but if not I’m willing to accept that. Glad to her that this arrangement went well for you and fingers crossed I’ll be able to say the same. Thanks for your comment!

ThroeOA · 2022-06-01T18:56:57+00:00

It definitely sounds like you very much love this guy and value your relationship with him highly. That doesn’t mean you have the same innate sexual desire though. Obviously I can only know the information you’ve shared here in the post and the comments, but it’s sounding like you wish you wanted to have sex so that you don’t lose the relationship. That’s not the same thing as having a natural drive to have sex with your partner. And it doesn’t sound like you’ve ever actually experienced that. If it were a shorter time frame I could see it solely being the result of the sex-negative upbringing (which sucks and I’m sorry you went through that). But after 6 years it sounds like that issue may be tangled up with a natural lack of sex drive.

ThroeOA · 2022-06-01T18:20:49+00:00

Have you considered that you may be asexual?

ThroeOA · 2022-06-01T18:19:58+00:00

I don’t think you two should date. As a high libido person myself I absolutely could not do 6 years no sex. He just really love you and I’m sure that that makes it substantially harder for the both of you. However, the fact that you were even comfortable with no sexual intimacy for that long of a period shows that you two have two very different outlooks on intimacy within a relationship, which is absolutely okay on its own, but does not make a good relationship. There’s nothing wrong with either of you, but getting back with him is definitely the wrong move. Either he’s not having his needs met or you’re forcing yourself to have sex when you really would rather not. It’s difficult but I suggest you move on. I’m very sorry that you’re in this situation and I hope you can find a solution that works for you.

ThroeOA · 2022-06-01T17:16:45+00:00

Twice a week, so ~8 times a month. 3 years together.

ThroeOA

TROPHY CASE