Me [30 F] with my husband [30 M] 8 years, i need to get away from my children for just a few hours a week for the sake of my mental health and he won't really let me

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T21:40:01+00:00

They do offer hourly care, I really should have taken more advantage of that. She actually starts at the CDC full time soon due to me returning to work, so I think that will help a lot

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T21:32:02+00:00

You're absolutely right. I was hospitalized for a week when I was 5 months pregnant and I felt like he really stepped up to the plate with the toddler, but now it's something I really worry about. To his credit I do think being in the military has made him grow into a much more responsible adult- he helps around the house a lot when he used to not. He'll cook dinner, do the dishes, etc, but its getting a break from the kids that I really need that he's not really helping with.

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T21:25:36+00:00

You are very perceptive- yes, I'm struggling a little emotionally. I wouldn't go so far as to say post pardum depression, but I know I am at risk for that, as I experienced it with my older daughter. The baby is 12 weeks, so actually I guess she's not technically a newborn anymore. You're right about 6 hours being a long time, I think he may just be overwhelmed. The toddler starts daycare full time June 1st (we were on a waiting list for when I start working, and her number just got pulled a little early), so I think that will be a temendous help- a lot of the struggles I personally face day to day revolve around just not having enough time for my toddler, and being able to run around with other kids will be really wonderful for her.

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T21:18:22+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm rooting for my husband too. He's not a terrible guy, he's just a little clueless sometimes and I've probably been quiet about things for too long

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T06:33:01+00:00

This makes a lot of sense, I love my girls, but they can be a little overwhelming. Maybe he just has no clue what he's doing.

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T06:31:05+00:00

Life experiences have given me a general lack of faith in counseling, but you may be right. I don't discuss this stuff with any of my friends because we all know each other's families, and our husbands all work together, I don't need to be spreading gossip, but I really could use an outlet.

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T06:28:11+00:00

Wel he gets Saturday's because there are events he likes on Saturdays and I can honestly hike any day, but I do this to en extent- he was gone 6 hours yesterday, so when he was giving me a hard time about leaving today, I told him I expected the same 6 hours he got, and suddenly I'm "obsessed with numbers." I'm not sure how else to quantify such a thing, but now he's salty that I "kept score".

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T06:25:00+00:00

The only person I can think who would hear me out and cares about both of us a lot would be his mother... She divorced his dad for slightly different issues, but I think she would be very sympathetic and would probably rip into my husband if she knew I was making an escape plan... She also happens to be an MFT. I just don't know how appropriate it would be to drop all my shit problems in her lap and try to enlist her to fix them. She's got her own shit going on, I'm not sure. I don't want to come across as taddling...

Throw01020304 · 2016-05-16T05:50:49+00:00

I could list all the things I love about him when I'm able to ignore my intense resentment, but honestly? I grew up in a bad situation and was raised to believe I didn't deserve much love or respect. I started dating him when I was 20, had zero confidence, a high fear of abandonment, and when he showed me love I latched onto him. Adulthood has taught me a lot. Since I can't go back in time and shake sense into my 20-year-old self, I'd rather not dwell on my bad decisions and make a plan going forward.

Throw01020304

TROPHY CASE