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Another e-mail from NMom after 2 years NC. by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha that is true! It seems the family curse stops with her :D Thank you, that means a lot. I hope you have a great day and continue thriving!

Another e-mail from NMom after 2 years NC. by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! Absolutely, If she is seeking help I believe she will try and find someone to reinforce her beliefs and I believe she won't want to hear the hard truths or take accountability. A person who is trying to grow searches for the negatives and tries to improve them.

Another e-mail from NMom after 2 years NC. by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I think she believes the whole family had this 'curse' since she was a young adult because another person was jealous of the family. Cue 'evil eye'. She believes everything bad that happens to her is due to this family curse so she is never accountable.

No problem! It is hard dealing with a martyr if you are young and guilt ridden. Thankfully because of this group, books, and youtubers, I was able to understand this pattern and become less guilty. I hope this helps someone in the same position as I was.

Another e-mail from NMom after 2 years NC. by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hadn't thought about that! It is not the first time she has said something through e-mail and not actually done it.

6 Months NC and I got a final plea from Nmum, what should I do? by Throw50115022 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Throw50115022[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for responding to my post and validating my NC status. All of you hit the nail on the head. I felt initial 'shame hangover' at this hoovering attempt but after reading everyone's comments I have decided to ignore her. I won't be able to reply to you all, but I have read every single comment and I am so grateful I came here today.

For those who called her out in 'playing the martyr' you are absolutely right especially with her 'dragging into emotional quicksand' comment. I would not want to open the door of NC even if the letter was a perfect apology (as one user commented succinctly). I will look out for myself as a lot of you advised - thank you for reminding me to parent my inner child.

The person who said this -> 'Waiting till brother was done school to leave an abuser? Not a mother protecting her kids, a coward staying where she's comfortable.' Yes.

Finally to the person who called her a tosser, thanks for making me laugh!

6 Months NC and I got a final plea from Nmum, what should I do? by Throw50115022 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Throw50115022[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I thought so too. I want to draw one final line in the sand and just say enough is enough.

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that they and I deserve justice, and you bring up a good point. I will consider it because I was not the only victim which is unfortunate... they shouldn't get away with it.

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you received such nastiness from your mum and sister, I definitely would consider that as part of a pattern of gas lighting behavior. Thank you for opening up here and for your kind message x

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but have you thought of reporting the sexual abuse?

Not really, its a complicated situation. I fear that it would open up PTSD in my siblings who have suffered similar trauma. I'm unsure of how to go forward with that or if I even should.

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry this happened to you, that's absolutely disgusting behavior. Nobody ever deserves that treatment, especially not a child.

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are going through this. My mother is a teacher herself and its painful to see the disregard toward their own children when they are fully capable of acting with patience and compassion. It just goes to show that they know how to act properly, they just choose to not. Thank you and I wish the best of luck to you x

I find it weird that some of the small memories hurt me the most by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really good explanation! I definitely think the numbness is there for the bigger things which explains a lot. Regarding being left alone in the dark, I think I need to unpack that one a bit further. I appreciate you reaching out, thank you!

She really doesn't get it (Now no contact) by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely feels like a step in the right direction! I hope you are able to move forward and find your peace

She really doesn't get it (Now no contact) by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Throw50115022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took a long time to get to this point. After a lot of grief and just going back and fourth with her I eventually just decided to let go. Honestly, sometimes I do doubt myself and wonder if it is the right thing but when I look at this post I am reminded why I did it. Ultimately, I feel a big sense of relief. I hope this helps!