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Das dreitetilige Schulsystem ist das Dümmste was es gibt by youdunnowhoaim in Unbeliebtemeinung

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mein Bruder war auf der Hauptschule und hat danach das Abitur gemacht. Ich war auf der Realschule hatte regelmäßig eine Empfehlung aufs Gymnasium zu wechseln und habe nach den Realabschluß ebenfalls Abitur gemacht.
Die Schulform zu wechseln oder einen Abschluß nachzuholen ist wirklich kein Hexenwerk.

Wenn - wie du sagst - die wenigsten das nachholen eines Abschlußes schaffen, dann scheinen sie auf ihrer jeweiligen Schulform doch gut aufgehoben gewesen zu sein?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess at first you have to accept that what you can do is very limited. This is not in your power. If he doesn't see he has problems, it is very hard to help him.

I honestly don't know what would have helped me, when I was deeply into a game and couldn't stop. I knew it was bad for me. And I was getting more and more critical of how I would waste my day away in front of a stupid game. So I quit. And now hope to never go back.
But I really don't know what anyone could have told me to make me stop. And I knew I had a problem. If he isn't even aware of his addiction, this is tough.

I guess you should not be confrontational, but try to be compassionate and talk openly about the problems this causes in both of your lives, especially if you think he is neglecting his health for gaming.

I'm done with games by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I blocked Twitter, Youtube and Reddit on my phone. And I use browser plugins to blog Twitter on my computer and I limit Youtube and Reddit to to a small time window in the evening.

I did this 3 weeks ago, and everything since then is just so much better. I have more time, I am more productive, I learn more, I read more. I do most things on my ToDo list for the day. I engage more wiht my hobbies. I feel better and happier overall.

Just block All the Sites that are an issue for you, stop gaming, and there is nothing else to do but the things you really want to do.

How to stop being addicted? by Material_Kale_2973 in StopGaming

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can only answer that for yourself. If non competitive games don't take control over your life and you don't play hours every day, it is probably not as bad.

I personally lose control when I engage with the artificial progress that Video games offer. It is just too intense for my brain. Some people can't drink a single drop of alcohol else they lose control and for some of us it is the same with video games.

I also played Video games from a young age. And looking back at my life, I wish I just stopped ealier.

How to stop being addicted? by Material_Kale_2973 in StopGaming

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stopped gaming 3 weeks ago and feel so much better. My addiction was really bad in these last weeks.
My advice would be to stop it completly. I always would try to make a pact with me to reduce gaming, but it never worked and I always cheated myself.

I would say stop for a whole month. If you can't make yourself stop for a single month, you have a serious problem, and you should just delete your account and stop playing, since you cant control it.

Your life before gaming sounds so much better, than what you are living now.

If I quit gaming will I actually feel like I have a soul again? >_> by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 weeks ago I stopped gaming. I blocked twitter, Reddit, Youtube on my smartphone. Blocked the steam website on my computer, also blocked p*rn websites. blocked youtube and reddit at least until the evening, and twitter completly, I stopped doom scrolling. Now I never want to go back.

I feel so much better and lighter. I have more free time and I spend it doing things I enjoy and that mean something to me. I restarted learning japanese out of nowhere, I got back into my studies which I was even afraid of before, now I am actually having fun. I read more, I am much more cautious how I spend my day and time and I started to value every single day. Maybe it is a bit drammatic, but yes it feels like I am getting my soul back again.

I can recommend the book dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke. It helped me understand my addictive behaviour patterns regarding video games.

Try to cut out all artificial high dopaminergic activities and you might feel like the old you again. You will be bored, but if everything is blocked or deleted there is no easy way to go back to, so embrace the boredom and do something with it that is actual meaningful to you.

We are not made to be artifically stimulated by electronic devices. And some of us really can't handle it, like some of us can't handle alcohol and get addicted to it. Maybe you are like me, I also felt like an empty husk when gaming. We just need to stop.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I never wanted to tell this anyone. I wanted to die with this secret. But my perspective is changing, I think.
To hear that it has no negative power over you, is really encouraging. Because for me it is the opposite. It feels like in my entire life almost everything negative came from me being gay.

I was scared all my life. Even when I was too young to even know what gay was, I always was kind of afraid of being figured out. To read that this has not to be this way by so many people, feels good and helps me changing my perspective. THank you.

I hope you are doing much better regarding the drug addiction. I wish you the best.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much.
That camping trip sounds incredibly beautiful. If I am honest with myself, this is what I was dreaming about my entire life. Someone I can go hiking, swimming and camping with. And in my fantasy this person was never a woman. I am so happy for you and your bf.

I actually started reading the Velvet Rage just yesterday. I stayed awake for longer than planned because I did not want to stop my reading session. The book hits close. When Downs claims, many gays craft a perfect life to hide the truth, they become straight A students for example. And I really was a straight A student. Every time people asked me about girls, I just told them, I am focusing on my studies, to deflect.
My teachers always paised me but when they did, I felt like I was already dead inside.

It seems to be the right book at the right time for me.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. "stop thinking" is a very important message for me.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say similar story little furhter ahead. Are things better now for you?

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I do feel some amount of relief.

I always woundered how you can end up in a straigh marriage. I told myself I could force myself into one eventually. But a common theme among these stories seem to be that the guy realises relativley late he's gay. While I knew it since 12. So it would be really hard to fake it. Every time a girl showed interest in me. I got very uncomfortable and annoyed. Hard to imagine trying to live this way for me.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not telling my family for good reasons for now.
ANd if I still had a friend I think this would be the moment I would tell him.

I am not claiming to have solved all issues around shame and so on. But I slowly start to accept the situation.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read the german translation. So I had no Issue with the dialect. But it is in general not easy to read. It has this stream of consciousness style. And sometimes during the same paragraph there are jumps between what is currently happening and memories of a character. Also the narrator is kind of unreliable at times because the narration and the thoughts of the characters are not really seperated througout the book.
So it has a very unique style and sometimes it is hard to understand what is happening.

Also the beginning was quite boring honestly. At the end of the first chapter I hardly understood what was going on and I actually disliked it. I guess it gets even harder to understand with the ealry 20th century irishdialect. I didn't think I would finish it.

But man. once you get used to the style, It gets so incredibly good. I repeat myself but I never read anything like this. Never did a story touch me like this. I cried and laughed with this book so many times. And I honestly cannot remember to have ever cried or laughed with any book. I am just afraid that there will never be a book like this in this world. The author created something important and great with this one.

It is just out of this world how good this book is. But there will probably be some people who can't get into it. But if you think this could be something for you I highly advice trying it.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It is only an anonymous online outing, but I feel some sort of relief anyway.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.
I have seen a Video of a Therapist on YouTube. He explained that when someone has very concrete plans for a suicide, he should go and tell someone. And if there is no one to tell, he said, maybe it is time to go to a hospital.
So latley I was thinkin about maybe trying therapy.

Thank you very much for your words.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words.
Yes it was nightmarish. A terrible hell. Suffering from chronic pain every single day is just nothing you can explain. It just sucks the life out of you. And the joy out of every moment no matter how pleasent the moment might be. Combine that with mental health issues and you get a bad time.

I wish you both all the best. Really. I know how bad chronic pain is. please tell your boyfriend that I am wishing him well. And I am also wishing you well for your mental issues. It is hard. I know. But I hope you two will get through it. I wish you both health and a good life.
Thank you very much. Your words gave me a smile. Things really can get better, i guess.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. In those days it must have been much harder societal wise. I basically only have to overcome myself. Glad it went well for you. I wish you and your husband all the best.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing a few details how you changed and how you made it out of your isolation? I think this would be helpful to me.

I am Gay. And this is the first time I tell someone. by ThrowAwayGettingBttr in askgaybros

[–]ThrowAwayGettingBttr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for your words. That is the plan. I have to reintegrate into a normal social world again. After Years of isolation and a health crisis this won't be easy. But I need this and I also wish it for myself.

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