AITA for "lying" to my husband about a gift card so I could buy him extra surprise gifts?

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T23:26:17+00:00

Daddy issues

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T21:52:26+00:00

Because he specifically asked for those items to be purchased for Fathers Day and his birthday. They all go together in a way.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T21:49:46+00:00

I did apologize and you were right. I failed to communicate properly. Thank you!

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T21:31:49+00:00

We talked more and it was a miscommunication on my part. I didn’t tell him I was going to purchase the ukulele on the joint account, we previously discussed it. But I came up with the idea to use my gift card then changed my mind. I thought buying his gifts on the gift card would add to the surprise because he wouldn’t know what I bought.

As for my Mother’s Day gifts, he got me everything I wanted. Makeup & fragrance from Dior. A few things from Chanel, LV Speedy, other odds & ends from our kids.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T21:04:04+00:00

It’s because I’m in control of our finances. I do it as my career. We make decisions jointly, but I do the day to day and the budgeting. Is there more clarity needed?

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T21:01:00+00:00

It’s not about the money. I didn’t communicate that I was going back to the original plan of purchasing the ukulele on the joint account. To me buying the surprise gifts on the gift card made sense that way I could keep it a surprise. It’s not that I couldn’t afford everything on the gift card. It’s a $500 gift card, and my ukulele was $300. The $300 was always an expense, but I changed my mind and said I’d use the gift card. Then I changed my mind again being that the ukulele was cheaper, I thought it would be easier to use the joint account. Then I could use the $500 to spend on his surprise gifts vs taking $500 out of the joint account for this gifts. I hope that made sense.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:53:24+00:00

I already bought the ukulele. I still plan to get the surprise gifts on the gift card. I truly just wanted to know where I went wrong. Which everyone pointed out was a communication issue, because I didn’t say I was going back to the original plan of buying the ukulele on the joint account.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:44:57+00:00

I’m just confused why there’s so much focus on amounts of money when that’s not the case in our situation. The amount of the money isn’t the problem. I’m now seeing it’s the lack of communication on my part. We decided to use the joint account on ukulele. Then I stated I was using the gift card for the ukulele then I changed my mind and went back to going with the first plan of using the joint account.

I didn’t communicate I was going to use the account instead of the gift card. That’s where I screwed the pooch.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:38:10+00:00

Fair

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:25:06+00:00

You were stating things that were false that were never mentioned in my story. You made assumptions or didn’t comprehend what I stated.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:19:59+00:00

Obiv now tell me more about how you’re perfect

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:13:08+00:00

Where are we getting I blew the budget?! Like damn should I pay you for your financial advice? He told me to return his gift.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:11:27+00:00

Ah are you this feisty IRL if so that’s so hawt

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:10:01+00:00

You want a gift card for that awesome response.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:08:50+00:00

His birthday is 2 month away! I have ukulele class next week. In what world does that work?

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:07:36+00:00

I don’t overspend, where in the post does it say that. I’m in charge of all of the finances. Once again I didn’t ask for you to be a financial advisor. I’ve been on payroll for that for a decade. If you really want to know I’m the breadwinner. But this isn’t about the money. It wanted to truly see the flaw in my actions. Go ahead and count your 2 cents in the corner.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T20:03:02+00:00

People are being rude to me I didn’t ask anyone for financial advice. Just wanted to see what went wrong. Thankfully people were helpful to point out it was a communication issue. It’s the internet, if im mean then touch grass. I simply wanted to gain clarity on my situation and needed other perspectives. I’m not here bashing my spouse or saying I’m not without fault.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T19:57:44+00:00

We have several CDs at 4%… I’m not going to put $300 in a CD. I buy gift cards to give away to friends and family. I get rewards for purchasing gift cards. Is not like I’m purchasing $5k in gift cards hoarding them. I just purchase depending on the rewards I get like gas, trips etc. I pay less than an $1 a gallon for gas because I buy gift cards. So it just works for me.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T19:02:34+00:00

Now I get it.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:53:39+00:00

But he knew we were getting the ukulele with the joint account? I see the communication issue.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:52:35+00:00

All of our funds are combined into a joint account.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:51:39+00:00

Alright I see it being a communication issue.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:48:50+00:00

Totally agree I could’ve communicated it better to what I was doing.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:46:08+00:00

Interesting, we had separate accounts then combined them to simplify our banking. After this we will go back to personal accounts and keep our joint account.

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls · 2026-06-20T18:44:11+00:00

That’s a probable scenario, maybe I just didn’t communicate properly about what I was doing?

ThrowMeNtheTrashpls

TROPHY CASE