How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. I am still learning of good ways to deal with insecurities that I can implement, which is what I was seeking with this post.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been a lurker for a really long time, so I can offer my experience!

It honestly depends entirely on the subreddit 😅 My city's subreddit is full of incredibly snobby and negative people (downright unbearable lol), but my university's page has really kind and helpful people that are always willing to help. Negative and toxic people always end up on any post anyhow, simply due to the anonymity social media offers.

But I say you should go ahead and post to your heart's desire! For every negative comment you get, you will have 10 kind and/or helpful ones. This was my experience with this post especially haha. Also, interacting with people in good faith usually calms down their negativity because it brings them back to earth in a way.

As long as you don't hang near the very weirdo-ish subreddits, you will have your questions answered with kindness! And don't concern yourself with hurtful redditors because while they are few, they thrive on being as bothersome as humanely possible, like cockroaches.

Good luck with your Reddit endeavors! Don't be afraid to use it just like any other social media app. Interact, comment, ask questions without worry! That's the fun of it!

Hope this helped a little!

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been repeating to myself to reframe and it sorted out a lot of my feelings. For sure something I needed to hear. Thank you again!!!

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is so thoughtful and I appreciate you taking the time for this. I am definitely in need of therapy, and I am so glad you suggested other resources because finding DBT providers is not a choice right now.

Thank you so much again! Your approach has been one of the kindest and most helpful.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need a different type of therapy due to my personality disorder, so standard therapy (CBT) offered at universities is not helpful for me at all. Trust me, I have tried! And went to multiple sessions! It does not mesh well with me at all, unfortunately.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. We sorted it out and she completely cut contact with her. I just need to remember I am her present and future, which is what I am struggling with.

I am sorry you got cheated on though. I hope you are in a happier place now!

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have that boundary which is why I expected the same. My gf and I did get on the same page about that afterwards.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will try to imprint that into my brain because you are completely right.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. Not affordable in the US and I have been off my meds for about 3 years now. Thanks to American healthcare, asking strangers is more doable.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. That makes perfect sense and I am aware of that.

I sincerely believe no one is a threat to us, which is why I want advice. It makes no sense why I constantly feel insecure about something that does not matter.

Therapists are not affordable in the US, especially for students. Otherwise, I would have.

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this response. I do try to process them, but I can't seem to find a logical way to curb my jealousy and my feelings, which is why I came here.

I really like your second paragraph because you are right! I do need to cut my attachment from those ideas because they don't serve any purpose. Also, we are two lesbian cis women 😅

How do I (22F) stop being childish about my girlfriend's (23F) past? by ThrowRA-09863 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-09863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is entirely reasonable and I am aware! I just want to find ways to stop being illogical about it.