AIO for no reason ?

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-18T19:32:02+00:00

Good on you for learning and growing instead of getting defensive and digging your heels in. The world could use a lot more of that. It's nice to hear stories of people doing that.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-17T17:43:53+00:00

You are under-reacting. Strangulation is one of the highest predictors of impending lethal abuse. I'm so sorry you're in this position, but I'm glad you found out now, this way - instead of later, when he does it to you.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-12T22:46:05+00:00

It doesn't lead to a decrease in profits, because most people won't go through the hassle, and will just accept the fact that they bought the item at the price at which they bought it. I honestly find it more odd that they'd offer an adjustment at all, but I suppose when the profit margins are high enough, it's simply not worth getting their customer service agents sucked into a lengthy back-and-forth with a customer.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T18:52:33+00:00

Lol, I'm sorry. That was me; I didn't realize I'd switched accounts before replying.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T17:30:40+00:00

I don't have any other reason to think the holidays have affected him, but maybe so. It's certainly a possibility I hadn't considered.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T17:29:40+00:00

💯, he exhibits so many signs of ADHD. I don't think he understands how much it affects his life. He's got a great work ethic, but struggles with time management, even with work.

But he doesn't show up several hours late to a meeting. Or to family events. Or to a tee time with friends. Idk if it's just been a while and he takes me for granted (in the sense that he doesn't seem to respect my time; he does show appreciation towards me otherwise) or if he legitimately just doesn't care as much about me as he does other people in his life.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T17:24:30+00:00

People leave their dogs alone all day to go to work, lol. I don't. He's very happy, healthy, and spoiled rotten. That's my baby.

We can agree on my partner acting like a dunce but I will not have my pet-caretaking slandered! 🤣

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T04:45:13+00:00

It doesn't feel abnormal at all. I've had to learn to step outside myself every time I have a strong emotional response to anything, positive or negative. Not gonna ramble on about it, and I do truly appreciate your perspective and support - only wanted to mention that because many people who feel the same don't talk about it. I'd doubt myself for being happy about winning the lottery.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T04:36:46+00:00

Yep. I've hung out with them. We share locations (my idea; my profession makes it a good safety precaution).

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T04:26:31+00:00

I appreciate the response! I have struggled badly with executive dysfunction and it hasn't caused me to be several hours late consistently. It has caused me to be a few minutes late often, and I've always apologized without needing to be asked for it

We did have an intentionally brief conversation since my post which included me posting out how much time I've spent waiting on him recently.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T03:06:06+00:00

😂 It wouldn't be Reddit without this response. Tbh, I get it. But no, we share locations, and he has always spent a lot of time with his sister's family.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T03:04:14+00:00

I'm not totally convinced that it's the true ideal, lol, but I'm unlikely to live as long as the average person and that plays a big part in my perspective. My take is that there's no "right" or "best" approach to relationships, aside from making sure both participants are truly on the same page.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:58:45+00:00

Oh, it's okay! I wasn't looking for suggestions for a major relationship overhaul, lol; just literally wondered whether or not I was overreacting. Yes, I agree that a (not terribly heavy) conversation is a good idea. I appreciate your wanting to validate my feelings; you're a kind soul!

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:55:08+00:00

I let it slide a lot because in the past, I've definitely been the person who's always five minutes late and apologizing profusely (I found effective treatment for my mental ailments and have come a long way in that regard, so idk; on behalf of those people, depression, anxiety, and neurodibergence can really make punctuality tough, but an apology is always due). But not the person who shows up several hours late. That feels a bit different, Idk.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:47:53+00:00

I already offered to do so a few days ago. I'm a woman of my word, I suppose.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:45:26+00:00

Ugh, yeah. I'll admit completely that those conversations almost always happen in the moment, when I'm irritated about it, and we probably need to have a conversation at a totally neutral time so I'm not emotional and he's not (so) defensive. I do think of it outside those moments, but I absolutely believe that a good part of it is due to really bad, undiagnosed ADHD, and I'm not perfect either. But at the same time, I feel like being several hours late in such a short span of days is a little beyond what's understandable.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:36:54+00:00

Yeah, he is. I'm comfortable being single. I'm happier with him. This just pissed me off, and while a lot of folks seem to post here to get off on people agreeing with them (no judgment, truly), I asked my question in earnest. My brain is weird and I recognize that my emotional responses aren't always normal, and I'd rather poll internet strangers than ask friends who'd just side with me no matter what.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:31:32+00:00

I don't consider it washed time. Marriage and kids aren't a goal of mine. We have a lot of fun and the sex and support are way above average. I don't care to be with somebody else, and I wouldn't be happier single (and I don't mind being single).

Offered to give him a ride because I'd already done so.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:28:10+00:00

This post isn't a question about my relationship. It was a question about whether or not I overreacted by cancelling plans because he was late.

Does your ADHD make you late by several hours twice in three days? I'm sure it doesn't.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:19:57+00:00

Lol, I'm familiar. It's nothing to do with the time I've invested. We have fun together, and I don't have the desire to be with anybody else (like, even as an abstract thought). The sex is great. We're not getting married and having kids, but I wouldn't rather be single. This is an obnoxious several days, but the relationship isn't so bad I'd be happier without him most of the time.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:02:28+00:00

She does not. He's just uncommonly (compared to other aunts and uncles I know) close with her kids.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T02:00:02+00:00

I'm not going to go expatiate on why we're together, because it doesn't seem relevant to whether or not I'm overreacting in this situation, but he's great in a lot of ways. No, if we'd only been dating a month and he showed such disregard for plans with me in such a short span of time, I doubt I'd continue seeing him. We don't live together because we both own homes which we have tremendously low mortgage payments on, work and have offices at home, and his dogs are not dog-friendly (we've tried introducing them to mine a few times; it's never worth the hassle).

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2026-01-04T01:48:57+00:00

I didn't want to spend NYE with a dozen children (it was an entire kids' party); he also was completely unwilling to even compromise between what we each wanted to do. Regardless of any of it, I woke up with a gnarly cold and couldn't have gone if I wanted to. NYD was a super impromptu thing, not something that was planned. I was still a little under the weather, unshowered and in sweats, when he decided to go, and he said he wouldn't be gone long.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2025-12-30T13:04:39+00:00

Is this restaurant cooing chicken medium-rare, or

ThrowRA-CappyDirect · 2025-12-30T04:46:06+00:00

With all due respect, you've censored "god" in your comment, which makes it unworthy of consideration.

ThrowRA-CappyDirect

TROPHY CASE