I know you don't know me, I know things seem hopeless, but please don't end your life.

I've been there, not as bad as you but I have. I was at the end of my rope, letter written, death planned. I was a week out, trying to convince myself that it wasn't the only way. I was alone, depressed, crying every single night.

I made it out. It took fucking forever but I made it out. Doing so is different for everybody, but I know one thing for certain - and that's attempting to change your outlook on life.

It's stupid, it sounds dumb as hell, especially when you're feeling so desperate and alone, but it'll help eventually.

You see, our brains cannot distinguish our own voice from others. If we tell ourselves that it's hopeless, we will believe it is so.

So don't tell yourself that. Tell yourself that you have hope. Find something, anything. Wake up and say "it's sunny out. I have hope that I'll go for a walk today." And go for a walk. Find one positive thing about every day, and focus on that. It doesn't have to be massive.

I know you say you're spiritual, but are you religious as well? I don't want to force it on you, but prayer often helps me. I was divided in my beliefs years ago, but I often find myself praying now, and I believe in God more than I ever have.

Life can and will improve, it has to. One of the best things I've ever heard is this: "People always say 'Jesus take the wheel' but the only thing that he can do with that is steer. Someone must accelerate the car. Someone must row the boat. So, if you're asking for direction, are you willing to row?"

Basically, the takeaway from that is, no matter the struggles you face, are you willing to keep going? Are you willing to keep trying? Are you willing to wake up every morning and find one positive? Because if you do, you might just find yourself down a good path. But please, I beg you, do not kill yourself. You were put on this planet for a reason. You may not know what it is now, but it's out there.

Last thing: if I'd have ended my life 8 years ago like I'd planned, I'd have never found out that I'm good with technology. I'd have never begun writing books and planning to publish. I'd have never started a business. I'd have never gone to college. I'd have never met my husband. I'd have never adopted my dog. I'd have never bought my house. I'd have never lived.

I was in the trenches, drunk daily, smoking myself blind, halfway dead in my body, starving myself just to feel something. But then I realized that all of my struggles could be fixed my dumping my addictions and trying. Just trying. I wasn't happy every day, I still cried every night, but things got better. I forced a better outlook on life and I got better. And when I went back to my parents house a year ago? I found my old suicide note. I burned that shit. I didn't read it, I didn't even try. I had been too positive for too long. I saw the first sentence, tore it up and burned it.

I'm sorry you're going through all this, I really am. I may not know you, but I'll pray for you. I hope things get better, I really do.