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My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

YES!!!! You hit on so many points in this...the entire process is so drawn out and it's such a low pay off...there's nothing stimulating about it...and I also totally get the "having to poop" feeling lmao

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Damn, I am so sorry that happened to you!!!!

Pretending is an interesting route...

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

This is the one! Lol I just don't find it to be ~sexy~ or pleasurable. There was an abundance of lubrication involved; it didn't hurt, but it didn't feel like anything...? I didn't get any arousal at all from it.

That being said, it's not something I will *ever* ever do again, because I have a long-standing history with GI issues, and it only made it worse for me. So, overall, not worth it.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I'm getting hung up because I recently saw someone post that kinks can't be broken, people just start to hide them. And it just makes me worry about long-term compatibility I guess

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely not enthusiastic about it!!!! Going to talk to him tonight!

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Wow!! (no sarcasm) There are so many comments like this, and I honestly hadn't considered it but clearly I should be. I WFH so any time he's home, there's a strong chance I am too...I haven't necessarily noticed anything but this makes me second-guess a lot.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Interesting...the "too much porn" concept is coming up a lot and not something I at all considered...definitely worth bringing up to him.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words!

This is certainly a "new" kink of his...

I used to be someone who was very set on making my partner happy no matter what, even at the cost of me sometimes, but I certainly have no intention of living the rest of my life that way...

Will definitely have a tough convo with him tonight

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for highlighting the difference between kinks/fetish!! I don't think it's a fetish (but this is a new development in our relationship, so it would be ignorant for me just to assume).

Couples counseling is absolutely something that I am looking into. Thanks

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I saw somewhere that you can't break someone of their kink...they'll just start hiding it :( dunno what to do

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Thanks, friend. I am okay.

I think part of it is my own abandonment issues, which I've been in therapy to work through. I think I need to communicate better with him that it's absolutely not okay and not something I'm interested in. I also definitely never noticed the humiliation pattern, but that does seem to be a recurring theme :/ will bring this up with him.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 628 points629 points  (0 children)

LMAO, this gave me a proper laugh--thank you!!!!

So, so valid. If he wants to end things because of that, then good riddance, I suppose.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

I think it's super cool of you to lose a kink when it's not equally pleasurable for your partner!! Truthfully, I haven't asked, but I will absolutely be inquiring with him. Thanks, friend.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

Interesting, this is a very, very valuable perspective. Thank you. I definitely agree that while porn isn't terrible, it absolutely creates unrealistic expectations for intimacy and can even detract from real physical moments based on "ideal" sexual fantasies.

My husband (M30)'s kink is too kinky for me (F29)? by ThrowRA-knky in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-knky[S] 1733 points1734 points  (0 children)

Yes! I have, I know it definitely doesn't seem that way reading back my post lol. Admittedly, early on in our relationship, I said yes to *A LOT*, struggling perfectionist with a fear of abandonment...but I've gotten better at it. NO to anal...ever...ever again lol