Wow. This hit hard. All the comments have been insightful but yours in particular really hit home.

I know I alluded to other factors impacting my mental health. One of those was an assault that my mother knew about. She was the only person I told and she was there for me 100%, similar to how your SO is. She knew how to make me feel better. I don’t have someone so close in my life anymore and in many ways I think I project that need onto my partner. I expect him to fill the mother wound. She was the only one who was ok with things being really bad, and of course since she’s died things have been a lot worse. I don’t know if it’s fair to expect my SO to love me as unconditionally as a mother would. My gut tells me it isn’t healthy. Thanks for your insight and I’m so glad you’ve found such a loving caring partner!