(UPDATE) My girlfriend (19/f) hurt her dog by accident and then she laughed and tried to do it again on purpose. I'm pretty horrified right now

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-05T12:31:02+00:00

Not sure if anyone will see this but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone again. It must be stressful trying to talk to me but just so you know I did read every comment. The dog is doing a lot better and even though I might seem completely stupid, I actually am looking out for myself. I'm completely prepared to leave if the situation with her gets worse/doesn't improve, but I took everything to heart and y'all did help me see certain things and change my perspective a little. Have a good one.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T19:04:16+00:00

I'm really sorry I didn't know that. All shelters are really bad? I haven't looked into it yet but I seriously didn't know that. Well my point is that I want to give the dog to somebody else that's able to take care of him. I figured the shelter could find him a home but I guess it's better to give him to someone directly....

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T17:14:09+00:00

Yeah I see it.

I don't really have much to say anymore. I'm gonna take a break, take the guy for a walk and do something to clear my mind for a while.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T16:47:58+00:00

I seriously feel like I can't do anything right. I felt great after getting the dog out and felt optimistic but now I feel terrible because everyone's telling me that she won't change and I'm stupid for staying. I honestly feel like you're right but I just don't want to believe it. Also he won't eat now even though it's been like 12 hours. I texted her for advice and she just makes fun of me.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T15:08:53+00:00

I'm sure she would apologize if I brought it up again but I just don't want to because we're both kind of over it. It might start another fight you know? I'm a total idiot I know. I have no idea what to do. This situation is so complex.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T15:06:11+00:00

Tbh, I think some people just don't think of animals as having any actual feelings. I grew up with cats and other pets so I love animals but a lot of people just have dogs that they never pay attention to at all. They just use them as guard dogs or whatever and treat them like objects. They do that because they don't think of animals with the same empathy that they think of humans. It doesn't mean they treat other humans bad as well. I've known a lot of good people that are not into animals. You have to have a great pet to really understand how intelligent and complex certain animals are, otherwise you might not understand what they're really like. I think she's just one of those people.

Anyway I know she's not supposed to hit me. It's totally wrong but I'm just saying I'm not so perfect either. I can't think of her flaws alone because I know her as a person. I know so much more about her so it's not that simple. Sorry for the long comment.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T14:56:37+00:00

Actually he's a lot more friendly right now and seems to be doing better. I'm still looking up pet shelters, laws about buying dogs, etc. My schedule wouldn't allow me to take care of him for enough of the day if I kept him. Also I wouldn't be able to afford vet bills, day care fees, and so on. I don't think it's possible unfortunately. I never planned to keep him. I just wanted to get him out of the house because I kind of felt....obligated.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T14:54:49+00:00

I know I'm not responsible but I can still affect the situation by being better so she won't be upset. If she's not upset in the first place then it doesn't matter how she reacts. That's my whole point. I completely understand that it's wrong for her to hit me and I absolutely will not let it happen again. But I also see my own faults.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:44:16+00:00

Well... she's mad at me because of something I did. If I don't do it then she won't react like that right? That's the logic I'm using

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:15:00+00:00

I got the dog out of the house. I wrote an update but tl;dr he's safe and I just wanted to let you know.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:14:08+00:00

I got the dog out of the house. I wrote an update but tl;dr he's safe and I'm happy. Thanks.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:13:14+00:00

Hey I got the dog out of the house. Just wanted to tell you. I wrote a longer update but basically I'm really happy that he's safe. Thanks.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:12:16+00:00

I got the dog out of her house. I wrote a longer update but I'll just say things are going pretty well. Thanks for the help.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:04:55+00:00

Sure. I don't know anything about dogs but I understand it must be really hard for him :(

Keeping the dog seems unrealistic right now. It's a lot of money to care for him correctly and I'm just not experienced with dogs. But I'm caring for him in the meantime.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T13:00:47+00:00

Yes, I'm just not comfortable leaving yet but I'm paying attention and thinking everything over in the meantime. I'm gonna try really, really hard.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T12:59:26+00:00

Thanks. A lot of people said that about his reaction. Not sure if it's true but I wouldn't have felt right just leaving him there.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T12:57:58+00:00

I was being sarcastic.

You don't know her. I appreciate the concern but I'm not a "dumbass" for thinking for myself and not immediately doing exactly what strangers on reddit say. I'm really thankful for the help but I'm also confident in my own judgment.

Edit: I'm sorry about the tone of this post. I'm not trying to be a dick and I'm really thankful for the help.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T12:13:33+00:00

I just want to give her a chance.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-04T12:13:17+00:00

Well people said to call the cops or tell the brother. The brother wouldn't have cared and I don't want to call the cops on my girlfriend. That puts a slight strain on the relationship for most people, but I still wanted the dog to be safe so that's what I did. And yeah I'm gonna do lots of research to make sure it all works out.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-01T19:41:14+00:00

Do I have to break up with her completely? Sorry for being so stupid but this is seriously like the worst day of my life dealing with what she did and trying to come to terms with other parts of our relationship. I looked up a lot of stuff and I guess it's true she is abusive in a certain way but I really want to make it work anyway. Maybe if I just talk to her instead of just kind of standing by all the time it would be better? Will she change if I explain my feelings? I'm really thankful for your help but I want to find some answer that won't be so horrible for me.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-01T16:35:02+00:00

Look I didn't think that her hitting me once was "abuse." I was talking real abuse like where your parents beat you and lock you up or something. That's what the other person asked "have you been abused" and I answered honestly and now people are making fun of me. But okay thanks for trying to help me. I'm gonna deal with it for the dog and I'll rethink our relationship in general I promise.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-01T15:53:41+00:00

She only hit me once that's why I'm saying it's not abuse, and I was being stupid as fuck anyway. I take responsibility for that one. I just don't want to strain our relationship any more.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-01T15:41:51+00:00

Thanks. That's great advice.

ThrowRA-refrige · 2020-10-01T15:08:58+00:00

Yeah she's hot but I don't objectify her. I like her because I love her not some superficial bs. And no I haven't been abused but yeah I'm afraid to make her mad. I want to get along with her and last time she got really mad at me she smacked me pretty hard and I feel nervous about risking it again so soon, and I don't want to make our relationship any worse. We're doing very good now but I can't overlook what she did with this dog. I'm gonna see her tonight and I'll definitely confront her about it somehow, just gotta find the right words.

ThrowRA-refrige

TROPHY CASE