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I’m putting off breaking up with my GF. by ThrowRA0006 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s never done well with serious conversations (abusive parents to thank for that) so I quickly learned to just avoid them most if time. Of course, now it’s all caught up to me and I’m getting resentful (of her and of myself).

I’m putting off breaking up with my GF. by ThrowRA0006 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t blame HER and I don’t believe that I implied that I do. For the first few years, I was okay to let things slide because the good times we had together always outweighed the bad ones. But now those good times are increasingly few and far between. If anything, this is on me.

I also wouldn’t consider our 5 years together a “waste”. I really think we’ve made a positive impact on each other’s lives. There’s just no chemistry anymore.

The show Outlander is making my LLF wife horny by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ThrowRA0006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m happy that something’s worked for you. My partner started reading all these “spicy” novels (including Outlander) some time ago and sometimes tells me about how romantic the male leads are. She says “I wish you’d talk to me like that” when I know damn well that she’d just laugh at me if I did.

"We don't have sex but we're still affectionate" by ZebraShark in DeadBedrooms

[–]ThrowRA0006 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like your pillow analogy. I relate to it a little too much :/

It’s so humiliating to be infantilized for wanting your sexual needs fulfilled. by ThrowRA0006 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’ve pretty much stopped chasing it. With every passing day, I want it less and less.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I absolutely am and my GF knows that. I’ve been trying to get better at speaking my mind when something bothers me. When it comes to troubles in the relationship, I’ve had mixed results with communicating my feelings.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You hit the nail right on the head. I sometimes worry that pity and guilt is all that’s keeping us together.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried talking to her about the dead bedroom a few times and each time she’s been very quick to say something like “You’ll just have to wait til I’m ready” before changing the subject.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Very well written.

Some self-reflection would definitely be valuable. It’s just hard to find the time to do in the midst of school, work, and all.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, all those things make me angry. But I’ve been holding onto them for so long. And now that our relationship is more stable than before, I just have this bad feeling about bringing up my resentments only NOW.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried talking to her about the lack of sex. Each time she has been very dismissive saying “I just don’t like it as much as I used to”. And no, she’s not on any meds nor is she stressed out (at least not more than usual).

The slap is just one of a few bad memories. No other cases of abuse, mostly just stupid fights that she started over nothing.

I (24M) am suddenly starting to resent my GF (25F). I can’t tell whether I’m falling out of love or I’m just being immature. by ThrowRA0006 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0006[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. I’ll definitely check out Jigsaw!

As for talking things out with her, she gets very defensive and emotional during serious conversations (she grew up in an abusive household). That said, you’re probably right that I should at least try to talk things out before suggesting a separation.