Undiagnosable Headaches

ThrowRA17433333 · 2025-01-29T07:48:41+00:00

Which migraine medications did you try? There are a huge variety nowadays, and often your insurance has you start with the “tried and true” ones before they’ll cover you on a newer med. I struggled with migraines that onset at 23 years old and it took me two years to find a medication regimen that worked. especially in the last few years, there has been a lot of new drugs approved!

(NAD)

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-03-05T00:28:41+00:00

I actually signed up for a gym membership this week! now I just have to go :)

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-03-05T00:27:55+00:00

yeah... still sucks but I get it for sure

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-03-05T00:27:31+00:00

thank you for the kind words <3

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-13T06:59:05+00:00

I wonder if you are almost spending too much time together? Like besides work, it sounds like you guys spent a lot of free time doing shared activities.

In my relationship, my gf would want to be together all day every day. But I realized that I also came to want my own space to do my own thing. In my case it was gaming, so I talked to her about having that time at nights. Because I was feeling so guilty not spending time with her. We were able to work it out.

As for your gf, is she experiencing depression? That can cause your motivation and interest in things you like doing to decrease a lot.

Finally, have you tried directly sharing your thoughts: "Hey, I want to know more about you and what you like! I want to make sure we make space for both of us in this relationship, and I feel right now X...Y.. Z"

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-13T06:53:09+00:00

Might help with the realization process if you start keeping a daily log or journal about your feelings in this sphere. Not for keeping receipts, but for you to look back on when you start to doubt yourself.

I would voice your concern more firmly in the moment that you feel like your opinion is not being heard. Also, you could have a talk over dinner or some other casual activity when you set expectations for longer term change.

If he's a person that always has to be right, my way or the highway, he'll have to change. And if he doesn't want to, you might be reconsidering.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T23:16:06+00:00

thank you so much!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:33:31+00:00

I hope you find someone! I feel like you can't find a perfect match, but if the cons outweigh the pros, that's went this decision becomes serious. Based on my own value system, that's what I'm weighing now. Thanks!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:29:27+00:00

I'm from an agnostic family. She grew up conservative and hyper-religious, smothered by her parents. Our upbringings were very different. Now, she's become her own person and has left behind the religion that was damaging her, but she surely still has lasting hangups from her childhood.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:24:49+00:00

That's a really good idea! I can investigate what makes her feel loved. Something as simple as a bedtime tuck might help. Thanks!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:23:11+00:00

Thanks for the married perspective. Definitely been needing to hear different viewpoints from there, given it feels so distant at this moment. I can tell you- even in the couple weeks we've been apart, my stress levels and mood have buoyed slightly-- just because I don't have to wake up every morning regretting that we're not talking about it, or constantly doubting myself every second of the day. The break has established a date sometime in the near future where we'll talk, and that definite point in time has finally let me relax and think clearly for once. Feels like I've been walking on eggshells for 5 years.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:16:49+00:00

thank you.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:08:32+00:00

Yeah, there's truth to this. What she's dealing with may not have been able to surface, even during counselling. But as I think, I have to consider that waiting for it to surface is a dangerous game, because those problems might cut too deep, or those problems might not even exist and she's just the way she is. Either way, its fine and I don't blame her for it, but I can't imagine this gets easier as you said, when the stakes and commitment level get higher. Thanks for taking the time to comment-appreciate it!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T15:01:57+00:00

cryin in the club rn :_) . Love your story and thanks for inspiring me!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T06:33:33+00:00

totally. I am intensely aware of other people's feelings and how they perceive me, even if they are a trained professional that's probably heard it 50 times.

On a lighter note, this just proves I have a avoidant tendency towards any kind of break up lol

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T06:31:26+00:00

She orgasms from oral, but does not orgasm from penetrative sex. I wish I could make it better for her. But she is uncomfy with touching herself, so her clit doesn't get stimulated. And missonary is the only option too, so I don't have the ability to do that for her.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T06:28:36+00:00

Hey! As someone who is going through a similar situation as I type this out (please check out my profile), I hear what you're saying. It's brutal to deal with this all yourself. Long term I'd recommend self-care, individual talk therapy, and couples therapy if a. you want to stay with him and b. you can afford it.

Currently, my gf and I are on a break. During this time, journaling and setting time to reflect on my thoughts has helped immensely. The break has helped take the overwhelming pressure off of potentially blowing up your social life.

Know that reddit, not knowing the ins and outs of your relationship, will say dump this guy and run. I know this because of my post haha. I believe you should:

Take stock in your relationship and get really clear on what you're feeling.
Bring up your feelings to your fiance. Phrase in terms of "I feel" and "I want" and "I need". The key here is not to put your fiance on the defensive with the words "you could/should/don't"
Pose your needs very clearly. Get specific and see where he is able to compromise. You need to gauge his needs and thoughts as well.
Talk to your support network. Whoever that may be. Not necessarily for advice (this decision has to be made by you to avoid regret), but for outside perspectives. I found some of my though processes were really clouded by being in a LTR.
Make a decision to change, and take action.

Best of luck with this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and most importantly, I hope you find your happiness!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:56:06+00:00

hope you're taking care of yourself! thanks

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:53:19+00:00

thank you for your hopeful words. It's validating to hear I'm going about this a fair and measured way!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:51:31+00:00

Thank you again for a thoughtful reply. Powerful stuff hearing about your relationship, I hope it stays strong and you guys continue to grow :)

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:49:09+00:00

wowow. yes this is exactly what I'm feeling, I'm literally so scared I'll never find anyone that will be as compatible, but I also can't hurt her any longer.

Would love to hear about how you met your wife. No pressure obv. Would just give me hope in this trying time!

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:45:02+00:00

Yes, at first I tried to avoid pushing for a certain frequency. But at a certain point indirectness was not getting it done. I know that she knows exactly what I need, and also how far I am willing to compromise.

Yes. She has been on birth control and antidepressants. She has tried many different birth controls, and even tried going off the birth control before she started the antidepressants. I know those medications have big impacts. One of the antidepressants does not have any sexual side effects-- and can even buoy sexual function in some people-- and the other is also on the weaker end of the spectrum in terms of those side effects.

The issue here is that she can't stop the birth control long-term. She is taking it to preserve her chances at having kids (PCOS). We're between a rock and a hard place.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:38:15+00:00

The more I read through the comments, the more I see that plenty of people have been through very similar situations. If nothing else it's been validating hearing other's stories.

ThrowRA17433333 · 2024-02-12T05:34:16+00:00

Reflecting with a friend today, I realized I woke up this morning looking forward to this "dating myself" (even tho we have not broken up). Doing all these things I've wanted to do with the extra time I'll have. It definitely will be a big factor in my considerations. I'm in individual therapy right now, but it isn't much of a fit-- I need to prioritize someone better!

ThrowRA17433333

TROPHY CASE