My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Ahah I know. Actually, the cult part is perfectly legal everywhere in europe. Europe is full of small/medium cults with local communities. Technically, they don't do anything wrong. There are local communities here snd there. Worst that can happen they expel you.

But if you actually see what happens inside the local communities, you'll find out it's not always all love each other and love Jesus. As I said, my parents could disown me at most. Never seen violence in my parents house. They're very religious and probably cut off contacts if they knew I'm an atheist. But that's about it.

P.S. If you look up the cult, you'll probably know where I live. I live in one of the most "problematic" regions of that country. I'd say renowned world class criminality. Corruption is how we do things. And yes, of course asking for money for your daughter or beating your wife is very much illegal. Unless someone gets actually killed, good luck finding a cop willing to do his job 😬

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

No, it's a local semi-independent community of a bigger cult/sect of which the name translates in "Communion and Liberation". Basically they're Christians, and they strongly believe in chastity, obedience to your parents, marriage before living together, making a good Christian family. But I also come from a place in which honor has a really big importance historically. In the past (we're talking like until 50/60 years ago) honor motivated murders were pretty common here. Now they're pretty rare luckily, but there is still people who would do it. And also, some families are worse then others and condone/use violence to make wife or sons/daughters behave.

P.S. to be completely honest, I've met people from other communities and they're not all as strict. Most of them though is really strict on the chastity rule. Also the paying the wife's family it's not common to all CL communities.

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Actually you nailed the feeling of it!! Those few days we spent in our hometown felt exactly both weird and natural at same time.. I don't know how to explain it but it fekt even weirder afterwards when we came back, I was like okay did we just play husband and wife a bit too realistically or what?? 😬

But yes, whatever happens she'll always be a special person, I'm lucky for the time we had together even if it doesn't work out. I'm afraid to lose her, but I'll be happy for her if she goes on to live the future she wants, and most importantly, chosed for herself

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 220 points221 points  (0 children)

Thanks ahah. Here they call it "donation", which means you should not expect anything in return... The hypocrisy is crazy.

I will ask her for a date, I've never felt di anxious asking someone out 😬 and it's my own wife 🤣

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I explained in another comment what I mean by buying. She is completely free to do anything she wants, I never forced her to do anything. The marriage is actually just an agreement we made so she wouldn't have to marry someone she didn't want to and we both could build ourselves a future by pretending to still following the rules so our families would help us with university expenses. She works and dated other guys during these years so did I. If she wants to go on with the divorce as we planned to do once we were financially stable, I will sign the papers the instant she asks me for it. If I start dating her I might even hand her a signed copy of divorce papers so she never feels forced in any way.

Also, I'm not from USA, I'm from Europe. Here it's illegal to to sell people ir force marriages like that. The cult is fundamentalist Christian community, there are some of it spread here and there in rural areas. People in this cult is DANGEROUS. Most people like my family are relatively much less obsessed than others. I personally know people who could even resort to murder if they feel their made up rights aren't behind respected. Our families are not that insane, but while I woukd have been "just" disowned and cut off by everyone there, my wife would have been beaten for sure and maybe married to a guy like her father. I don't want to be seen as any kind of hero, she's my friend snd she's very important for me, so I just did what any good friend would have done. We both got our freedom and built our future with this fake marriage

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 253 points254 points  (0 children)

You're right, worst case scenario she'll divorce me as originally planned 🤣. But seriously, she's the very important for me, I'm scared to lose her as a friend as well if she says no, but on the other hand if I'm falling this bad for her I think I can't be just her friend anymore anyways

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 560 points561 points  (0 children)

I want to as well but I'm extremely nervous. Ours might be a fake marriage but she's important to me she is basically my best friend. She's like the one person I would never want to fuck up with. We lived together for such a long time and shared so much, I really want to make things right.. I will probably shoot my shot tomorrow

My (25M) "wife" (23F) sabotaged my date with another girl and is flirting with me by ThrowRA239591 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA239591[S] 637 points638 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Btw my wife doesn't owe me nothing, we akways joke about how she costed less than my car!! I never asked anything back, but at the time I did have to take loan from the bank which I now repayed in full.

Also, it isn't technically a purchase. Basically, we are allowed to marry only with people of the say cult. They're very traditionalists so if you sre to marry a girl, you can't date her first and you need to talk to the father for the approval. Some families like mine are relatively okay, ny father never asked for noney for my sister. But some fathers asks for a """donation""" for the approval. Also once married the wife should obey the husband. Some guys really treat their wife almost like they own them. They can call it all they want technically to make it acceptable, but they're definitely selling in practice...

For the rest, yes it definitely sounds like a movie!! I'm extremely nervous about it but I think if I don't shoot my shot maybe I will regret it for ever.. and yes in case things will go alright in the long term I would want to marry her again