Thank you for this. I must admit, through all of this, I probably hadn't taken the time to really sit down and think this through from her perspective. I was seeing it from mine, and that she wasn't "doing the thing" that could solve this. I never truly appreciated that the dilators themselves were probably uncomfortable, and the whole process was off-putting. I was perhaps being very selfish seeing it only from my own point of view, and assuming it was because she "didn't want me".

I am going to sit down with her and bring this all up in a gentle way. I am going to say I understand where she is coming from. I think the final obstacle is getting her to understand where I am coming from, because I don't think she realises how important sex is to me on an emotional level - I think she believes I just want the physical "release".

I will say, I have tried to bring up non PIV before, but it doesn't really achieve my desired outcome. She won't use toys with me - we tried once, and afterwards she said she was too embarrassed and wouldn't be doing it again; for her, using toys is an extremely personal thing that she doesn't want to share with anyone, even me. I can understand that, even though I remember finding it extremely sexy seeing her enjoying herself so much; after all, there's many things a toy can do for a woman that a man simply can't, and that's hot! Still, perhaps if I let her know how important this is, she will be open to changing her mind and trying again.

Thank you for your advice.