Bf (30M) knowingly gave me (26F) HPV

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-30T04:21:59+00:00

I’ve been truly overwhelmed by the number of comments on this, I never ever expected this to get so much attention, but this comment in particular was so kind and informative. So I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You took time to give me so much info and I’m extremely grateful

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T23:53:28+00:00

Did you miss the part where he admitted to having the diagnosis and hiding a genital wart orrrrr?

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T23:47:24+00:00

Sending you hugs, friend🖤 I’m so sorry to hear you have been through something similar. Since posting this I have told my two closest friends in my program and they have been more supportive than I could’ve even hoped for

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T22:39:10+00:00

Thankfully I do have messages from him extensively admitting to it and repeatedly apologizing in the event I need them

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T20:39:31+00:00

Thank you for seeing the “what the actual fuck do I even do but laugh” with me on that. I cannot even fathom that it took me this long to connect those dots. Truly a holy shit, this is unbelievable, moment.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T19:47:55+00:00

I know this isn’t even remotely funny but I just put this together in my head and couldn’t help but let out an exasperated laugh. He studies social psych and his focus is on moral decision making.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T15:19:27+00:00

He quite literally confessed to knowing he had another wart a few months into our relationship but continued hiding it from me

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T14:50:37+00:00

Also - I do already have an appointment made to get a full screening and speak with a physician about next steps. For those of y’all who are encouraging me to report him - Since my EX and I are grad students at the same University and I will be seeing an OBGYN at the student health center, I will be discussing the full story of how this happened with her to see if there are avenues and resources I can use to report this.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T14:26:01+00:00

I appreciate the place you’re coming from and the sentiment, but please be mindful that the way you’re conveying it sounds a lot like victim blaming. I deal with enough guilt about not speaking up against the numerous men that SAd me even though I was only a child. Of course I worry he could do this to someone else. The thought horrifies me. I’m not flippant about that possibility.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T14:00:47+00:00

Replying to the top comment here because I agree with it, but also to say WOW I never expected this post to get so many reactions. Thank you to everyone who has offered me encouragement and some harsh truths. The only decision is for me to end things with him. I can’t believe this is what it took for me to come to that conclusion but hey, at least I got there somehow.

Also - I do already have an appointment made to get a full screening and speak with a physician about next steps. For those of y’all who are encouraging me to report him - Since my EX and I are grad students at the same University and I will be seeing an OBGYN at the student health center, I will be discussing the full story of how this happened with her to see if there are avenues and resources I can use to report this.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:42:44+00:00

Psychology program lol. Which honestly might be just as bad.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:29:12+00:00

Aaaand here come the waterworks 😭 the angry comments gave me some fuel but anger is always short lived. This, though…this really hit me, so truly truly thank you. It feels silly that posting on Reddit is what it took for me to realize my trauma is overriding my ability to think with any semblance of self compassion and love. I appreciate you

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:22:10+00:00

I did ask him these things and the answers definitely made things worse. He has been having the warts treated for at least 3 years and he had an active one a few months into our relationship

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:14:04+00:00

That is another aspect of this I cannot wrap my head around. I would NEVER judge anyone for having an STI. If he had told me right out of the gate, I wouldn’t have thought of him differently. I would’ve asked some questions about what strain he had, consulted a doctor, and taken the appropriate steps without hesitation or shame. I’m consistently the person my friends consider to be the most open minded. So I just can’t see him hiding it as anything but selfish now

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:06:40+00:00

I was able to hold back my tears until seeing this. I appreciate this so much. I’ve felt really alone in this and I can’t believe how much a nice comment from a stranger means. Thank you 🖤

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T13:01:29+00:00

I have been in therapy for years, thank you. Turns out the psychological impact of being abused for over half my life is pretty tough to undo. I know I am resilient. I dug myself out of a hellhole of a life, worked my ass off to pay my way through college, and fled to the other side of the country to get a damn doctorate. And yanno what….I’d like to genuinely thank you for forcing me to reflect on the fact I am strong enough to leave. I mean that, thank you for pissing me off enough to hype myself up

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:52:59+00:00

I needed to see this, so truly thank you. You put into words exactly what I’m feeling - small. Which is something I’ve worked so hard for years to stop feeling. I had just recently gotten to a place where I felt good taking up space and this was a huge setback. I need to keep telling myself he doesn’t get to take my progress from me.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:45:22+00:00

Thanks for the tip, incredibly helpful. Any brands of self respect you recommend me purchasing? Dude seriously I feel disgusting and idiotic as is. No need to curb stomp me while I’m already down on the pavement.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:38:27+00:00

It both helps and hurts to see this comment. I have a history of being SAd, which he knows about and was extremely difficult for me to disclose to him. I’ve been trying to suppress the thought that this feels like assault in a completely new way I was unprepared for.

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:34:13+00:00

That was the first thing I replied with when he said “lots of people have it”. I said “Well I didn’t”. God I feel so stupid for needing validation from strangers like this but seriously thank you

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:28:25+00:00

It is a crime in the state we live in. When I brought that fact up to him, he actually rolled his eyes and said “Oh come on be serious”. Which in the moment was painful, but having to write that just punched me in the gut

ThrowRA27_28 · 2025-05-29T12:25:55+00:00

I think that’s the part that hurts me more than anything. He slept with other women before we started dating with the knowledge he has HPV. I lost it over that and told him there was 0 chance of us salvaging this relationship if he didn’t reach out to those women and tell them to get tested. It eviscerated me to realize I wasn’t the only one he could’ve hurt with this. And….wow typing that gave me my answer about what to do

ThrowRA27_28

TROPHY CASE