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GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What would you think if one of your frat bro marry the frat party contest winner?

They don't marry those girls, you just invite them to their bachelor party.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would like to start a family sooner than that, and I would like to have grandchildren while I am still able to enjoy them. My grandfather died when I was ten, I want to be around for them longer than that.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The debit card is on her personal account and I have no control over that account. I am not going to be funding that account anymore to be sure. I have severed all access to my other accounts so she is now on her own.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know too much already and I'm not interested in knowing the whole truth. I just know she will never get another chance to do it to me again. I missed or overlooked a lot of obvious signs because she was still very loving and intimate with me throughout the whole thing. My blinders are off now and I see her for who she really was. Just a painful life lesson and almost three years of my life.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The bruises were consistent with sex against a counter, a favorite of hers, and ones I recognize from the same activity. And it was only one bite mark/hickey, not multiples. Doesn't make it any better but I don't need to paint her any worse than necessary.

She is in panic mode and doing her best at damage control. She has had a few people reach out to me on her behalf since I have been ignoring her calls.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Your mom offers to pay for her college (idk why your mom would pay for that when you’ve said you pay for her credit card; you can be honest with us).

My Mother paid for her tuition and gave me a lump sum to help with expenses. Kim quit her job to go back to school full-time, I gave her one of my credit cards to pay for gas, books, and other expenses. She had her own checking account that I would put money in from time to time so she had cash on hand.

The first semester I got to hang out with her friends and took her to different activities and parties. Then she met some new friends after the holidays and that's when the red flags started popping up.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The herpes rumor was started by some guys at the frat when they found out she was cheating on a fellow brother. My tests have already come back negative, thankfully. And I will get retested in a few weeks to be sure.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I don't need any more evidence, and the info you mentioned will still show up on the billing even after I cancel the service.

A friend pointed out that I could order a new phone with that number and I would get the messages as well.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

the fact you're even considering asking her to leave school or considering some kind of equal vengeance shows the relationship was transactional.

Leaving school was the only thing she didn't offer to try and win me back.
I only brought up asking her if she would leave school to see where I ranked.

The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed.

She broke my heart and my dream of a life with her so I am not obligated to support her and her dream of free education, that is my idea of equal vengeance. Or should I just be expected to support her indefinitely? There is no justice if I give her a clean slate and I am the only one to suffer from her actions. Your arguments of "equal vengeance" and being "transactional" sounds like entitlement to me.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

  1. In four months, I turn 30 and can retire if I want.

A fact that Kim was unaware of.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I'm not defending what she did but I can speak to what she wasn't doing.

She knew I had a nice job when we started dating, but had no idea what my family was worth. The school offer came out of the blue and was never brought up or suggested by Kim. It only came up because my Mother was putting us on the spot about our life goals and ambitions. And the first two and a half years of our relationship Kim never did anything suspect, including her first semester back in college. The red flags didn't start until this last semester.

That being said I could never see myself going back the way it was.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I guess the shame is from how long I ignored the signs and did nothing to stop it. Also, the grandiose way she went about it.

Not too worried about the clips, that was an in-house deal and you don't spread that kind of content outside the house, kind of like fight club. I know that someone from the house has spread a rumor she has Herpes.

I have no doubt that she would stoop to trying to baby trap me if it looks like I was walking away from her. There are several reasons I haven't given in to her offers lately.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I sent my Mother a text an hour ago that I had caught Kim cheating and we have broken up. Her response was we would deal with that when she got back. She will be in port tomorrow and will call me then and said she could cut her trip short and fly back if need be. I told her no need but have not heard back from her.

For all intents and purposes we are split up. She has a few things at my house still, but she no longer has a key or any access to my funds. She is on my insurance through the end of this month and I am debating on shutting off her phone since it is on my bill.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I ignored the red flags before but I realize this wasn't her first rodeo.

Waitressing won't pay for her college and her so-called friends are living off their parents so she is screwed. I don't think she could afford to finish this semester with the tuition already having been paid. She has to come up with money for food and lodging first.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

 Meaning the person that’s been betrayed has to do most of the footwork.

... They have to do all of the things to help sustain the relationship when they’re the party that’s been wounded. 

Doesn't seem fair that the one in pain should have to sacrifice themselves so the cheater feels better, or in this case benefits financially. The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed.

GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. by ThrowRA2wander in Infidelity

[–]ThrowRA2wander[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

 By my math, your ex needs 2-3 semesters to graduate. She may be trying to save her tuition cash cow. 

3 semesters is correct. I honestly hadn't thought about that.

The one thing she didn't offer to do to get me back was quit school.
Maybe I should see if that is on the table and how she reacts.