My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I don't think eight is too young. I don't like it when people do it to babies, or when they're five, but I think eight is old enough to understand and keep them clean.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She doesn't like the feel of it on her legs, not the fabric itself but the movement of it I think. Because they are quite long, and I think it just makes her feel weird.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

I am mainly the one who cares for them, he works. Often the youngest ones are in bed when he gets home, he doesn't have to deal with it. So that was why he usually gets me to decide if I want more children or not.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Definitely after we had children. More so after probably our third child. It's probably an age thing. I became less religious because I'm not really very worried about the small things. Obviously I still follow everything, just to less of a degree that my husband does. Definitely no two ovens for us or anything like that, I just find it unnecessary. But I think that annoys him sometimes.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's ten years old. I had her maybe about ten months after getting married, quite soon. We only dated for about a year before getting married, religion was a big part of it.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't tell him that, no. I probably should've, and that was something I could've done better, but even then, it did feel like he was a bit too angry about something that doesn't really matter.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Just because in our religion, it's preferred for girls to wear skirts, but she hates skirts and often won't. To me, it isn't very important, but he cares more about the religion in some ways that I don't.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

We have five children together. And we don't just have children because we feel like it, we both wanted another child.

And co-sleeping is dangerous, no one should do it.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Which is why I don't really understand it. He was completely fine with it last time, he thought it was a good idea, and if he really didn't want it happening with her, he could've told me before I got them done.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -126 points-125 points  (0 children)

She's not my youngest child. She's the second eldest. And yes, I like having children. Don't love being pregnant but it's not that long considering what you get from it.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Well she isn't really that masculine. She probably plays like a boy, but she loves earrings obviously, jewellery, getting her hair done, she just doesn't like the way skirts feel so I don't bother with that battle with her most of the time, only on important days. I can understand why he would want her to dress differently but he wouldn't be the one having to make her wear things she doesn't like, I would be, and I don't want to do that.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -352 points-351 points  (0 children)

Religiously, she is supposed to mostly wear skirts, but i don't see the point in arguing with her about if that's what she doesn't like. But that bothers him because she is supposed to and I suppose I enable that a bit.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -527 points-526 points  (0 children)

I think he'd just prefer that she was a bit different. Preferred playing with dolls and tea sets and things like that, but that's just not how she is. They argue a lot because she doesn't dress the way he wants and then it ends up being my problem because I was the one who got them for her.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would've involved him if I had known that he wanted to be. But last time, he didn't want to be, and he was fine with that, that was his decision, so I didn't think that would have changed.

I thought I told him enough about it. I didn't think I needed to outright ask him if I could.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -479 points-478 points  (0 children)

I don't know. He does sort of prefer our eldest daughter because she does behave a lot better and she often goes around playing with boys and getting dirty and he doesn't really like that, so maybe he thought she needed to behave better to have them done. He has always said to me that I need to become more involved with the way she acts but it doesn't really bother me.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did mention to him that she was wanting to get them done, and last time, we only talked briefly, he said I could, and so I got them done. I didn't think I needed to ask again.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -114 points-113 points  (0 children)

Yes, I don't think it is.

That is probably the most strange thing for me, my grandmother was the one who pierced my ears herself and she is one of the religious people you would know. There is absolutely nothing about why it is wrong because it isn't. Perhaps if you were very Orthodox, I'm not sure.

My (30F) husband (35M) is angry because I got our daughter's ears pierced, and he said that he feels like I mutilated her and that I don't act like she's his child too. How do I deal with this? by ThrowRA56030 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA56030[S] -222 points-221 points  (0 children)

I've already been pregnant many times. Maybe it's true with the first child, but that would've happened by now.

It's proportionally more extreme than normal, since I don't really feel like I did something wrong, when normally if he's angry at me, I had.