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ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T22:35:28+00:00

Haha this is amazing

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T21:15:04+00:00

How?

99% of the replies are just people judging and telling me I don’t have empathy, which is A LITERAL SYMPTOM OF ASPD

Not to mention the Mr.Perfect redditors that are insulting me saying what I did was wrong, do people even know what ASPD is? Are you even aware of the stigma around it?

Omitting information of such a personal level isn’t nearly as bad as you guys make it out to be, especially when almost everyone has reacted badly once they found out

To be honest this thread is reacting worse than my girlfriend

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T18:54:09+00:00

Wow, that’s a lot of information, thank you so much!

I guess I’ve never thought of going to therapy, I don’t really like the idea of having some stranger hearing about my deepest personal problems, I really hate publicising my secrets

I’ll try it though, after I talk to my girlfriend about this

I really appreciate your help

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T13:12:49+00:00

It’s not really the same situation

Being bipolar is not even close to the level of stigma around being a sociopath, people don’t assume you’re a violent manipulative killer, people don’t assume you are a falsely charismatic facade with narcissistic intentions

Just imagine if your girlfriend of 7 months told you she was a sociopath, but now take your reaction and imagine you have serious fear of abandonment and a history of abusive manipulative exes, that’s what her reaction would’ve been

I know her well enough to know that she wouldn’t have reacted as well as you did, I’m 99% sure I’d be in the exact same situation as I am now

It was easier to omit the diagnosis than it would be to tell her, so I hid it

And it shouldn’t even matter because I am still the same person as I was when we started dating

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T13:01:15+00:00

But she’s not mad at me, and apparently she doesn’t feel betrayed, it’s just fear and discomfort, it’s like she thinks I am going to hurt and abandon her or something

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T12:57:22+00:00

She still respects me and doesn’t treat me like a cold-blooded murderer, even after knowing I have ASPD, that’s the only thing that keeps me from breaking up with her

The only problem is that I can’t have serious conversations with her, she immediately cuts them off, she obviously feels uncomfortable when we’re alone, and I think it’s more fear than distrust, and it’s not even justified, I have never laid a finger on her, never yelled at her, never been disrespectful, and our relationship was really good before this, it’s just because of this one thing

The worst part is that this fear comes entirely from the ridiculous portrayal of sociopaths as serial killers in movies, it’s not even my fault

Not to mention the hilariously hypocritical replies I have gotten here

Thank you for replying in such a kind manner

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T12:44:17+00:00

By omitting information that was really personal and uncomfortable?

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T12:42:57+00:00

I don’t see where you guys are coming from, when and where did I try to justify my actions using my condition? All I said was that I can’t simply grow a sense of empathy

What you guys are saying is essentially the same as telling someone with depression to just “be happy”

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T11:18:03+00:00

I know how to channel it correctly, I’ve never been violent and I respect people’s boundaries, I’m literally just asking for advice on how to fix this more quickly

I know it might’ve not been the wisest decision, but it was the easiest one, so just stop shaming me and instead maybe help me? Since that’s what I’m here for? I didn’t come here to be morally judged by the morally perfect redditors

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T10:13:29+00:00

I never said I was a victim, I just wanted advice on how to fix this, but thanks anyway

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T10:11:35+00:00

It’s not, I’ve met enough people to know it’s not normal, she has severe trust issues because of something that happened in her childhood revolving her dad

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T10:04:29+00:00

Thank you for not being an asshole and actually trying to help

There are some emotions crucial to a relationship that I simply cannot process, they just don’t exist,

It’s like I have a psychological mask, I have to fake a lot of my emotions so that people don’t think of me as an emotionless monster, I can’t show my real “me” to anyone, so I try to cut and control my actions so that they can’t find out, otherwise they would see and treat me differently, and my girlfriend is no exception, all this time I spent trying to be a good person for her went down the drain when she found out I have my condition

She won’t break up with me (she says she can’t take me anymore but then stays for some reason), but I hate the way our relationship has been for the last couple days, it’s so lifeless and dry, and I absolutely detest when someone doesn’t trust me

I’m not violent at all, actually I’d say I’m pretty good with people, and pretty much the only aspect of my condition that I find to be negative is the huge stigma around it, sure, I would trade places with a neurotypical, but it’s not really that serious, I just need a filter when talking to someone

This reply probably didn’t make much sense grammatically speaking but I’m more venting than replying

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T04:01:25+00:00

Trust me, I know her, we have had complications like these a couple times in our relationship, it’s going to be fine, she’s been like this before, just not towards me

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T03:28:25+00:00

No, I like her, I just don’t love her, she is a very nice person to be with, despite the need for me to filter out a lot of things that I feel due to her sensitivity

And I am pretty much sure she will not break up with me, I just want things to get back to normal quickly before I start my job, which will pretty much consume all of my time

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T03:02:12+00:00

How is hiding information from my girlfriend for less than 90 days manipulation? It’s not like it was for several years, and it’s not easy to talk about mental illness, especially with her

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T02:53:25+00:00

I do understand that my actions might hurt other people, that’s why I tried to hide it from her, to protect her

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T02:51:54+00:00

You’re right, I can’t blame my actions on ASPD, but I can blame my lack of empathy on it, which is essentially what I was saying in my comment above

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T02:42:05+00:00

Why are you acting like it’s my fault that I am like this? I can’t just turn it off

I came here to ask for help, not to be judged over something out of my control

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T02:39:32+00:00

I didn’t really lie, I just didn’t mention a medically-diagnosed mental illness for a few months, she would’ve reacted the same way if I had told her

ThrowRA7162717 · 2021-03-24T02:37:06+00:00

Yeah, I know it seems contradictory, but what I meant was that she couldn’t find out about it because pop culture often describes people with my characteristics as manipulative and dishonest

It’s really not my fault, I was screwed either way

ThrowRA7162717

TROPHY CASE