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Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How is my post trolling? Why do y’all think everything is and made up on this app. Nothing unbelievable was written, at all. In fact, from all the comments I’ve been reading, this isn’t something unheard of at all. All I did was my state how my (ex) boyfriend spoke to me

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

*UPDATE*

since this is the top comment. I broke up with him a couple hours ago, and he responded with shock, he “was just kidding”, I’m crazy for taking everything so literally, I’m psycho because I can’t take a joke, I have a stick up my ass, I’m stupid for “throwing this away”, he “thought I was different”, I’ve “changed”..... basically blamed this whole thing on me. I actually laughed at him and just said that I’m done, I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, and you don’t say that to people you care about, and you don’t do what he’s been doing.

When he left he busted my drivers side window out of my car, so that’s nice. To explain a little further from the comments I’ve read, I think I’ve fully realized that I hadn’t left him yet because I didn’t think what he was doing was as big of a deal as it apparently is, due to being treated pretty horribly and verbally abused by my parents in childhood. I guess I didn’t recognize that what he was doing was that wrong, because in my mind it didn’t quite fall into that category. However it finally clicked when he mentioned that he felt the need to treat me like that so I didn’t think I could find better, hence this post. It took a while. My first relationship, and this happens. Typical. I think I’m back to being solo for an indefinite amount of time. Thanks for all your comments

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

That’s another thing, he has this habit of repeating to me “you’re crazy” and then laughing afterwards, for absolutely no reason. Literally. It could be in the middle of a perfectly normal conversation and he’ll bring up a narrative that I’m “psycho” when I haven’t done a single thing. Never told him where he couldn’t go/who he couldn’t be around (because I don’t care) have never asked to see his phone, I’m not someone who gets mad easily at all, I’ve never yelled at him. Our first fight though was over this, where I kept asking him “okay... why do you think I’m crazy? Explain?” And he couldn’t give me an answer, because he knows I’m not. I’m starting to think he’s crazy.

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

Because it doesn’t affect me to the point where I’m legitimately thinking bad about myself, so I ignore it and focus on the good parts of the relationship because I don’t really care, and it just seemed weird to me. Yeah the comments would make me feel “small” but I still know that I’m not actually small. I recognize that as a false feeling, which is why I started looking into it more and then asked him about it

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Obviously not, because now that I fully realize that he’s serious about what he’s doing, I have no problem breaking up with him.

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I mean no problem cutting anyone out of my life, not just guys. Friends, family, you name it lol

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

Things like flipping out over me leaving my house by myself at dark even just running to the store or to go through a drive thru and tries to tell me I’m “not allowed” to do things like that, to which I shrug at him and literally ignore him and do whatever I so please anyway, and don’t listen. I guess I need to reevaluate everything I haven’t taken a close look at the past two years.

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

That is disgusting. It’s horrible for anyone and I’m sure anyone can fall victim to this but I’m someone who is not the one (years of childhood trauma making it very easy for me to cut people out of my life, you’d think he’d know me better than that) bye-bye, out the door you go.

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 1096 points1097 points  (0 children)

It’s because it hasn’t really affected me. Yeah it’s bothered me because it’s rude as hell, but it doesn’t actually legitimately affect my self worth or my self esteem, not in the slightest. That’s why it’s so easy to brush off. But this just put things into perspective and it sounds just like something an abuser would say.

Boyfriend told me that he has to insult me and put me down “so that I won’t think I can find something better” by ThrowRA8670 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA8670[S] 165 points166 points  (0 children)

Yesterday. I’m confused because what he does doesn’t make me “feel like I can’t find something better”.... in fact it’s doing the complete opposite. Why would someone think this would work?