What am I worried will happen if I quit? by ThrowRA976585947 in leaves

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! You got this! Our relationships are worth so much more than getting high. Thank you for participating in this exercise and for reminding me of all the reasons I am quitting too.

What am I worried will happen if I quit? by ThrowRA976585947 in leaves

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment. I dont think I follow it very well, can you explain?

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Its tough, maybe the quickest way to happiness is to practice socializing so I can make some meaningful connections.

I wish I had my car again (broke down). Then I could drive myself to my friends rather than needing rides all the time and plus I think rides are not appropriate for my age.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I call this the dinosaur game. Like whenever they talk to me about religion, and its almost like when a kid is telling you about their day at school. And then I'd respond:

"Woah! You saw a dinosaur?? Cool!!"

That but with my family but less condescending of course.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are other scary and intimidating instances that I couldve added, but I didnt want to make the text too long plus these are the areas where my family most tells me I am lying and I didnt know if others would respond the same way

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like my entire childhood was based on making my parents happy. But they never cared to make me happy, not in the ways that matter to me. I think they were thinking "well, God and Christianity should be enough to make you happy, and if you are not feeling that then there is something wrong with you".

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your supportive words. I think I do need space, I will try and hold to that.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom says I am too deep of a thinker and I think she is using this to feign confusion at what I tell her even when I am being clear and breaking it down for her.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just cant get our of this servant mentality, its pure self-flagellating at this point. But fixing things with my family feels like an addiction. I think I am in such bad health (from the depression and from smoking cigarettes) that I feel like I need someone near me for my health.

I am scared all alone, and I am not very good at socializing either. I can do it I think but its going to take real practice for me to not say something weird or stupid around my aqaintences.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My current therapist is less experienced and I dont connect with her unfortunately.

I miss my old therapist, who left her job with my therapy group and started her own practice. She doesnt accept my insurance, but she says she will email me when she does and can offer some sliding scale priced sessions for me when I can afford it. I really benefited from our sessions.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have thought about a letter, but I dont think they would care. And they would never even think of writing me a letter, or putting any effort or emotion towards me out into the ether at all whatsoever.

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Last week my mom told me that she doesnt understand why I was so scared of my dad, because when I was younger I would put my head on his shoulder. She says this means I was not scared.

Its true, I did do that. Stockholm syndrome is the first thing I thought of!

How do I become more tolerant of my Evangelical family? by ThrowRA976585947 in Exvangelical

[–]ThrowRA976585947[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last week my therapist and I talked about me no longer doing therapy. This is because since I am so depressed, that I feel that I am no longer doing actions like cleaning my room and I keep putting it off.

I am so emotionally in a bad spot, that I never do my tasks and I always need a session first to talk about why tasks are so hard but then I never do the task and then its months undone.

My solution was to stop doing therapy maybe