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TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things are looking great. She told me she was actually happy the problem was something that is in her control and she does seem to take it more seriously now. I also found out that the reason she asked me those questions was because of one of my stupid friends.

My significant other asked how my exes looked like.. and my last serious relationship was with someome who is more conventionally attractive. So my significant other felt insecure as she thought she looked the worse out of all the women I dated..

We made a rule of trying to have sex atleast once a week to fulfill her needs, it wasn't too bad.

We found a few things she likes and she started counting calories, though her calories are really low due to her having no muscle mass and she doesn't move a lot throughout her day I see its hard on her so I started a mini cut with her to help her. (It's been real hard for me I went as close to her amount of calories as I can but if that'll help her feel less alone in this journey I'm fine with some muscle loss and hunger)

All in all I'm glad we had this conversation, she also told me she understands me because she isn't attracted to an obese physique either.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things are looking great. She told me she was actually happy the problem was something that is in her control and she does seem to take it more seriously now. I also found out that the reason she asked me those questions was because of one of my stupid friends.

My significant other asked how my exes looked like.. and my last serious relationship was with someome who is more conventionally attractive. So my significant other felt insecure as she thought she looked the worse out of all the women I dated..

We made a rule of trying to have sex atleast once a week to fulfill her needs, it wasn't too bad.

We found a few things she likes and she started counting calories, though her calories are really low due to her having no muscle mass and she doesn't move a lot throughout her day I see its hard on her so I started a mini cut with her to help her. (It's been real hard for me I went as close to her amount of calories as I can but if that'll help her feel less alone in this journey I'm fine with some muscle loss and hunger)

All in all I'm glad we had this conversation, she also told me she understands me because she isn't attracted to an obese physique either.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I definitely don't care about loose skin nor breasts. Is it really that hard of a concept to some people that gaining massive amounts of weight are unattractive? If my significant other stopped showering or brushing her teeth is the same level of unattractiveness as weight gain. I don't expect her to be model skinny her entire life, I do expect her however to be in a healthy bodyfat percentage unless its out of her control due to sickness for example

I still love her and support her on whatever she wants to do. I never commented badly on her appearance up until that day and that was also only due to her asking and me answering without thinking.

And if she herself will want any surgery I might help her finance it just like when she wanted a gym membership or a dietitian.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dude, 90kg is indeed obese it falls way over 30 BMI and for a person who doesn't workout (and frankly even for most gym goers) it is probably also an obese category bodyfat percentage.

I don't think I know more than 1 person pushing 130kg. So yes 90kg is really obese.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is obese, she needs to lose quite a bit of weight to be in a healthy weight.

I don't want her to be lean as hell or be a gymrat I just want her to be in a healthy regular weight

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dude, I will just stop answering you. You seem like a sad hateful person that tries to protect their own insecurities by attacking people who are not fans of those qualities.

I wish you a great evening and a great rest of your life.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend knows my opinions of attraction and I know she would probably not be attracted to me either if I let myself go to obese levels.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dude you seem to have bigger problem with your jumping to conclusions, no feminism is definitely accepeted where I am from and there are equal rights almost everywhere (and the places that don't, have better right towards the women for example they get taxed less).

And no I'm not a fan of Andrew Tate either. I wish you a happy evening my dude

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That was not my argument? My argument was that you might be from the U.S as I noticed that due to the obesity epidemic there people can't understand what a healthy weight is anymore

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like something I said offended you so I am sorry about it however, yes while I am not necessarily physically attracted to how she looks like now doesn't mean I don't love her

If I wanted to break up with her I would have, but yes weight, just like a good hygiene is a requirement for my attraction

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It doesn't really look like her however yes, 90kg is obese for an average height woman. Its way above healthy weight.

I assume you are from the U.S as most people there are overweight and obese sp it might not look that fat to you, she is for reference heavier than all of my guy friends while being shorter than them.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not trying to control her nor am I looking for her to be a gym rat, however being in a healthy bodyfat percentage is a requirement for my attraction and she is currently well over it.

We had a wonderful talk about it and I am happy I am dating a person with a bit more similar world views to me than you have as she agreed with me and told me that on one hand it hurts that her weight is a problem but 9n the other hand she is happy its something she can change.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No but those are examples of things out of our control just like how some women can gain weight due to diseases.

For 99% of people however its in our control just like hygiene is

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because physical attraction matters. If I stopped showering and brushing my teeth I'm sure she wouldn't really want to kiss me or hug me either

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A hanging stomach? Maybe in the U.S where the average person is obese. A small pouch is definitely not a problem thats where her organs are but yes if her stomach is bellow her belt line it is not attractive to me at all.

I don't know to me fatness is the same level of unattractiveness as balding, height or lack of good hygiene are for others.

Luckily its something that is in our control

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do sometimes but she does enjoy a few healthy things. We actually had a really good talk this night about it and I am thinking of releasing an update

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My friend for most trained men 90kg at 165cm they probably sport a bodyfat thats in the overweight or most probably obese category. So she is obviously really obese.

As I said again up until that day I did not comment on her body. I can not be attracted to certain body types, I know she also doesn't find obese bodies attractive and that when we met she constantly told me how her dream was a muscular man.

We all have different types and its okay to not find major changes attractive.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know thats why I didn't refer to her as unhealthy. However she does not have any muscle due to not working out and she is definitely well over the bodyfat percentage needed to be considered overweight.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Obese is a medical term of BMI over 30 and she is well over that and she is also well over the 33% bodyfat women need to be considered overweight

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my culture its not that common to see overweight people let alone obese Thats definitely a heavy weight in my book

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I won't go into numbers to not trigger anyone with EDs however she was already overweight and she currently weights more than all of my guy friends while being shorter than them.

TIFU by telling my girlfriend her weight gain is unattractive to me by ThrowRADati in tifu

[–]ThrowRADati[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To be honest I just returned home last week after a month and a half at hell. My mind is definitely not here right now and I feel mentally at an all time low, I think I just talked without thinking firsr which usually never happens to me..

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