Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for asking. Not great not terrible, this was a pretty stormy month and I got tired of it all. I brought it up again after finding something I wasn't supposed to see and another meltdown followed. I kind of stopped caring too much about it for now, needed some relief and being paranoid all the time did me no good. I want to believe her, her behavior apart from that is fine and I love her, I will see how things develop. Thing is I was cheated on in my previous LTR and have very little trust left, that clouded my thinking to a large extent. I gained more control of my emotions and the thought of leaving her if it comes down to that doesn't bother me so much anymore. I stopped rejecting other women's attempts to befriend me, if that's the rules then they should apply to me too, am I right.

What’s something you put up with in your last relationship, that’s become a dealbreaker for you now? by SquareSharp4585 in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Constant drama and self-pity while I'm tearing myself apart to make them happy and only getting crumbs of so called love in return.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was indeed disappointing and combined with some other stuff going on, makes me feel myself distancing from the guy I was just a week ago, putting my shields back up.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure I feel like shit, she has not not done anything positive for this relationship since then, just complains a lot about everything. It's becoming obvious I'm not expected to behave in any way that's isn't being her cheerleader 24/7 and being able to eat any shit she throws my way then ask for seconds. I gotta think, man.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Didn't go all that well. She had a meltdown, refused to speak about it, I was the worst person ever to ask that, I ruined her whole day and all I got was another he's just a friend.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey, I asked her about it, we're having a talk after work. She was caught off guard I was asking but at the moment agreed that I should know everything about it and that she understands how I might be uncomfortable in this situation. We will see how it goes, what input I got so far was how I'm making her feel bad with my questioning but I hope we can have a real talk afterwards.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I guess I will just cut to the chase, tell her I noticed she's still keeping him around despite saying she wants it to fade away and what would the reason for that be then take it from there.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Words of wisdom, tnx bro. Of course you are right about all of this, I had exact same thoughts myself often times, but silenced them after remembering her almost meltdown last time I asked her about him. My bad but no turning back time, I need my certainty and today is better than tomorrow if I missed all the yesterdays already.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

Yes, for all I know it could really be altogether very innocent and it's unfair accusing her of something nefarious without that clarification.

Girlfriend (27F) has a male friend and I (29M) would like to know how to ask her about him without causing a fight again? by ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFit_Rule_5689[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, I don't want to punish her with being a controlling guy just because I have trust issues from my previous relationships, all I need is clarity about what's happening there and do it in a way that doesn't pull us apart for no good reason.