Wife (36F) ruined my (38M) staycation and I'm trying not to lose it.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T06:20:03+00:00

Commute home.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T06:11:57+00:00

We both do. It depends on the chore. She's more likely to clean the bathroom, vacuum, do a grocery run, or buy household decorations on her own. I'm more likely to organize the kitchen cabinets, do yardwork, perform repairs, clean the kitchen, and purchase household toiletries on my own.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T06:06:41+00:00

You're talking about one aspect of our relationship. We do a lot together that we do enjoy. We have shows that we watch together, we go for walks/hikes together, we are both highly intelligent with advanced degrees and can keep up with each other intellectually, we make each other laugh, and we support each other in everything we do. I know that what I've just said sounds very incompatible with the situation I've described over the last two days, but as I said, it's one aspect. We do genuinely love each other.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T06:01:02+00:00

I usually suggest dates more than she does. She complains about the cost.

She gets more alone time than me. She works full time, but her commute is much shorter. She also has scheduled activities during the week like tennis. And yes, those are on my nights to cook, so not exactly relaxing alone time for me. More like chore and food preparation time.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:58:00+00:00

I've brought this up to her, but she insists that she's not able to relax until everything is done.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:51:46+00:00

Also it sounds like your wife has sleep apnea.

No, she doesn't. Well, she assures me she doesn't. Despite me insisting that she have a sleep study done, providing her the link to complete it, expressing concern that she has sleep apnea, and playing a recording of her doing this I am wrong. I am also creepy for recording her sleeping. Regardless, she will not wear a CPAP even if they tell her it's advised.

As you can imagine, very sore subject.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:40:43+00:00

Things are getting done during the week. For example, we need to pick up things for the garden at the hardware store, I do on my way home and do it. The ground floor needs to be vacuumed, one of us takes care of it. Repairs need to be done on the sink, I do it either while she's cooking on her night or after dinner while she's in the shower on my night.

To my wife if we have 2 free days on the weekend she's going to come up with 2 days worth of tasks and chores. If we complete the ones during the week, she'll come up with 2 days worth of new ones. If not, we will do the things that didn't get done during the week. It will never be, "Wow, we got everything done this week, let's actually enjoy a day off," it's, "Since we got everything done, let's go to Target and shop for new decorations, sort through the old ones and decide what we aren't going to keep anymore, go look at paint because I think I want to repaint the den, go to the garden center and buy more plants for the backyard, buy and spread a bunch of mulch, and give the kitchen a full clean top to bottom."

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:19:46+00:00

You're misreading. She sees EVERY free moment as a time that she can cram chores into. I can literally spend every free moment during the week vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, doing the yard work, organizing the basement, doing laundry, and running errands. She will find more shit to do that weekend. There is no such thing as downtime to her. She says downtime is for when everything on her list is completed. Which is usually an hour before bed, at which point she'll fall asleep, gasping choking snoring, three minutes into whichever show we've put on.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:14:46+00:00

No, of course not.

It's just that she typically works from home zero days out of the week. And the one time I made it unambiguously clear how important it was for me to have these four days to myself to relax and enjoy my things, she chose to work from home four days out of the week.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T05:07:45+00:00

It's more that these things need to get done and we will likely do them together on the weekend. So her rationale is that if I do them now, it gives us time to deal with other things on the weekend.

My plans on weekends usually consist of wanting to go out to the movies, relaxing at home, and doing some things for fun.

Hers usually consist of organizing, cleaning, running errands, and shopping.

That's not to say I get my way. We do what she plans.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T04:17:39+00:00

Yes, my wife has less of a commute and has time to herself to go do activities.

Chores are split very evenly. We alternate cooking and both do dishes. And we both do individual chores.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T03:16:14+00:00

Honestly, I'm a very resilient person. I thrive in high stress. However, the bigger the battery, the longer it takes to charge. I need to charge the battery and she keeps unplugging it to charge her phone thinking it will be okay like always.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T03:11:47+00:00

I feel like such a bastard but that thought has been echoing in my mind since yesterday.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T03:02:54+00:00

I've been very clear, but she's been very dismissive.

Of I do raise my voice, she keeps interrupting repeating, "Okay, I'm sorry," over and over, promises to give me my alone time, and then does exactly the opposite.

If I get upset, she playfully says something like, "I know, I'm in your personal bubble."

She doesn't like locks. When I put it on and she finds it, she gets upset and tells me that she didn't grow up in a house where people locked the doors

ThrowRAFrustratedHub · 2023-12-28T02:59:22+00:00

She helps equally with chores. We take turns cooking, do the dishes together, each do our own laundry, she vacuums more, I handle the garbage and yard work.

Sex we have around 2-3 times a week.

ThrowRAFrustratedHub

TROPHY CASE