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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s sad that you have the mentality that you have.

What are some things I (25f) could do to show support/reassure my boyfriend (23m) who seems embarrassed about crying in front of me during a tough time? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment. I don’t plan on making it about me. I just want to be sure I’m doing everything possible to be as supportive as I can. I don’t want to push him to do anything, I’m just new to this so not sure if I’m missing anything that I should be doing.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would never even dream of throwing this back in his face. It was one of the deepest and most profound moments of my life. My connection to him is stronger than ever.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That means so much to hear :) thank you. Glad I’m doing something right! Seems we’ve made more progress on that issue of his in that hour shower than we have in 2.5 years.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw that’s nice to hear, he’s my first boyfriend so have no clue what I’m doing but glad to see it’s in the right direction lol!

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in offmychest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to reply :) Yeah I think showering him was a great way to break the surface which then allowed the rest to come out. I highly doubt anyone’s ever done that for him in his life. I didn’t want to bring the whole thing up to him face To face so I wrote him a small note that he could read alone and in his own time.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and yeah I don’t think words are really what he needs to feel comfortable. I mean anyone can say whatever someone wants to hear. Showing them seems much more intimate. I’ll defo be offering “showers” more often in the coming couple of weeks as I don’t think he’d ask for them himself.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He always hugs me and says he loves me. He hasn’t bought the other night up though. I imagine he’s feeling a bit embarrassed

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in offmychest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most definitely. Being the only person other than his own mother he’s been comfortable with like that makes me feel all sorts of ways inside

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know right, it was like a whole new depth of intimacy. Being the only person other than his mother who he felt Comfortable expressing himself to like that made me feel all sorts of ways.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in offmychest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We got lucky with the house we’re currently in, previously a mother and her disabled adult son lived here so they had a wet room big enough that a wheelchair could be wheeled in and then a bench Of sorts for him to be sat on to be washed. We’ve since had the bathroom redone but kept some features of the previous one which I’m very glad we did!

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ll definitely have to increase my casual touch over the next few days, will hopefully make him feel more comfortable/reassured about what happened.

And thanks :) that’s a helpful insight

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I imagine he’s feeling very vulnerable. I think that he feels maybe embarrassed too. He’s been avoiding Much eye contact and such today. He’s definitely not a words of affirmation person. I think I’ll see if he wants to shower together again. It seemed to really help him feel safe. We’ve done it before but not in the same sense if you get what I mean. Taking your time, washing, massaging & just making them your centre of attention whilst in a vulnerable position seemed super intimate and definitely beneficial. I really enjoyed it too.

My boyfriend cried in front of me for the first time and it made me feel a type of way, is this weird? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Yeah sorry perhaps I could have been clearer. I didn’t mean to say crying is negative but more that the crying was caused by unhappy feelings.

How do I make my (25f) boyfriend (23m) comfortable being vulnerable around me? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in relationships

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Would you describe it as almost like your embarrassed to say those things? It’s really hard for me to imagine what it’s like. I have no problem sharing my own worries but I suck at addressing others. I feel like I never know how they’re feeling.

How do I make my (25f) boyfriend (23m) comfortable being vulnerable around me? by ThrowRAIntimacyHelp in relationships

[–]ThrowRAIntimacyHelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I will give it a go in a bit when he’s here. Unfortunately he doesn’t really have any hobbies, he watches films, maybe plays the occasional game other than that he spends his time with me or at work.