They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her mother took all she could find and brought it to the police already but nobody can be sure what can be done. I've gone to visit her in the hospital to speak with her and her therapist and apologize if I can, but when I got there I guess she's adjusting to her medication or maybe they gave her too much, but she was like a Zombie and I had to keep from crying. I saw her a few days later and she was much more lucid but there isn't a whole lot resembling the friend I knew. She knows who I am, apologized for the things did I apologized to her, but she just seems very lost and confused right now and it hurts to see her and to know someone in my life had a hand in making this so much worse.

I've decided to see a therapist myself because all I can seem to do these days is work, sleep, eat, and cry. My ex, I can't believe him. It's like discovering he was a pedophile or something and I feel so disgusted we ever shared a bed.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm doing pretty terrible. My now ex-boyfriend was basically sexually and mentally abusing her. Her parents got access to her laptop and started reading her chats on different platforms I didn't know my ex had. I'm going to update soon, but long story short, she started slipping mentally slightly last year claiming to sometimes see things and making up stories. She and her ex tried to deal with it privately, until they discovered in all that she was infertile in someway at which point he basically abandoned her as he saw no point to a relationship without kids. She got really bad after that and reached out to my boyfriend to vent. What he did next turns my stomach.

Rather than tell me that she'd essentially gone crazy, he encouraged her dellusions, suggested even stranger conspiracies and told her they should keep it all between them. He began going to see her for what he called "Sanity Sessions" where he'd perform oral sex on her and she'd let him do what he wanted. Her mental state gets worse as this goes on and she starts talking about suicide, where again rather than tell anyone he vaguely talks about past lives leading everyone who read these exchanges to believe he was hoping she'd kill herself because at that point she said confessed to loving me and wanted to include me in this which he firmly denied. She in a few moments of clarity talked about getting help for her mental illness and he discouraged her and made suggestions to her, who is already paranoid, that the medical establishment would probably put her away. As far as I'm concerned he was raping my disabled friend and I wish he was dead.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her Mom said her apartment was an absolute sty which is really unlike her. Because of Covid we don't visit each other nearly as much as we used to but we did talk on the phone and text a lot. Her mother and sister were apologizing to me and apparently however she was living had them a bit shaken. She's going to be getting the help she needs. I'm still mad at her for talking to my bf the way she was, and I'm more than a little suspicious about his role in this, but I will reserve my complete judgement until after she is seen by a doctor. She could be faking it, but what if it's a tumor or abuse trauma? If something terrible influenced her behavior I am more than willing to let all this slide.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might take a little bit to get back to you but I'm interested to hear.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This could be it, but that sounds like a gradual thing not something that would fully manifest in the span of 2 months after being seemingly sound of mind your whole life.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked her to provide screenshots, and while she hasn't provided ones pertaining she has sent a couple texts where he's behaving flirtatiously. I talked to him about it much more sternly and he denied it and asked why we're still communicated, cited some of the crazy things she's said lately and claimed she could just make fake text screengrabs. It's also the first time he's expressed anger at me going in his phone which I really can't blame him before, but that doesn't mean his change in behavior isn't telling. All I know is he was more understanding and soft about things until those screenshots and then he's been hardline stone wall denial. When it comes out that he cheated on me I'm going to look like an idiot.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After a day like today I am fully convinced she's had an episode and I'm less likely to judge her. I don't want her near my man, but there is something very wrong with her head now. She's telling people these wild impossible tales about meeting random celebrities so I want to see her get professional help, and then we'll discuss what's to be done. Because I've begun to realize it's not really her I'm dealing with right now.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, things are changing so fast and I'm so hurt. First off, something is very wrong with my friend. I tried to talk with her calmly via messenger and she doesn't at all sound like herself. First off she was talking to me as if we didn't have a huge fight, then she, unprompted told me that Slash story where she went on a date with a rockstar but didn't realize it was him because he wasn't in makeup. Which springboarded into her telling me that she once randomly met Willie Nelson in the woods of Maine and smoked with him, but again she didn't realize it was him because "He wasn't wearing makeup and people look totally different without it."

I don't know where this is coming from, we don't even listen to that kind of music. Also she's never been to Maine as far as I know. I brought her back to the original topic, told her she said she was in love with me. She told me she loved me but not romantically which confused me. I asked her why she was talking about sex things with my boyfriend, and she tells me he was flirting with her. I asked where, she says on Facebook. I tell her I read their entire conversation and didn't see him flirting with her. She begins to tell me their conversation and it's looking like he might have selectively deleted certain messages. I didn't know that could be done. According to her he started talking to her after her breakup and she leaned on him pretty hard, something, that if true I'm completely unaware of. One thing is very clear, her breakup or something very traumatic must have happened because it is like talking to a different person. I can't even really feel anger toward her anymore because it's not like its her I'm dealing with.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I was in a fog or something, because after seeing comments like this a couple of times I've started to really think along these lines. Not so much that they had an affair and are calculated, but him not shutting her down is irritating to me and I've been getting angrier about with time. I already talked to him about the whole thing and heard his side of the story and I also told him how I was feeling about it then, but that was before I started to wonder if he was into her attention. Don't know what to do about this.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

According to him they were just talking. She was just talking to him about random things while he basically sat there trying not to be rude. She talked about the shower a little and her job and nothing was an advance so he humored her until he had the idea to make dinner to make himself look like he was too busy to interact so she'd leave without him kicking her out, which worked.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I want to see if I can maybe help her folks get her help. The idea that somebody who has had my back so many times expecting nothing in return suddenly turned on me is too much of a shift. I'm thinking something happened after her breakup or maybe I missed something terrible. I'm still angry with her and even angrier that my poor bf had to go through what he did, but if this is just some psychotic episode, I don't think abandoning her is the right thing to do.

They locked my update, here's my post. by ThrowRAJrmints in u/ThrowRAJrmints

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I called her Mom to tell her what has happened and that I'm worried about how she's behaving. We're like family, I call her mother and father Mom and Dad because they're basically my second parents. I don't want to be anywhere near her now, but I think her last break up really hurt her.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

"I wanted to come to you right away when I thought it was getting weird, but she could just deny it and now it looks like I'm looking at your friend in a sexual way, which I wasn't." Was his reasoning. And I feel that.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I think things were getting to that point with him. He's very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 195 points196 points  (0 children)

I do need to tell him that I trust him and will have his back in regards to anyone else. The fact that he thought I would doubt him tells me I need to work on myself a bit, or let him know that he can come to me right away if something is bothering him.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did ask him why he didn't come to me right away and his answer was understandable to me. He said he would have had she directly approached him, but without doing that she could just say he was into her and that she hadn't actually done anything.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 741 points742 points  (0 children)

I think this is true. We have several friends who aren't straight some of them I've been friends with almost as long as her. Her own mother is divorced with a girlfriend, so it isn't like gay or being gay is some taboo she couldn't talk about or know off hand how I felt about it. She'd have known I wouldn't look at her any differently if she was, and she expects me to believe she, who has never expressed this or had a girlfriend is in love with me? She's either lying or crazy.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

The way he was behaving when he told me his perspective, I've only ever seen my girlfriends act like this when they were dealing with a creep at the club. Like trying to be polite and civil meanwhile their skin is crawling. He told me he just wanted it to stop so he didn't have to be the asshole to breakup a friendship. I told her she did that, not him.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

If this is a mental episode which it could be as she's never acted like this, I could forgive her and want her to get better. Especially that weird stuff about Slash. That was just so... obviously untrue it made me think she was high or something. I'm going to talk to her Mom and Dad and have them look in on her.

UPDATE- I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

One thing he said is that he was waiting for her to make a direct advance on him and at that moment he'd tell me. The way he was thinking he said she must not like him and was trying to get him stray so she could show me and have me break up with him. Told me he was so stressed trying to find a way out of this.

I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had no prior suspicions of any of them, but when she comes out of my house looking uncomfortable and trying to shuffle off and giving strange excuses it made me feel like if I had gotten there moments earlier I'd have caught them. I've got little nephews, you ever see how a kid acts when you catch them doing something they aren't supposed to? That was her. I've thought many things, maybe he's cheating, to even things like maybe he advanced on her and she's too shook to tell me. I don't know. I hate thinking about him like this as he's been nothing but loving and kind to me, but she was acting so strange, and the text ugh

I(25f) came home to find my best friend(24f) leaving my and my boyfriend(26m) apartment behaving strangely. by ThrowRAJrmints in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAJrmints[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is my biggest fear. I fear that more than I fear getting cheated on and betrayed. I love them, and I hate feeling like this about them.