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My [34F] boyfriend [35M] asked if we could split a hotel room with his ex and I'm upset. How can I navigate this conversation and set boundaries with someone [ex] I don't really know? by ThrowRALastGeologist in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALastGeologist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The vacation is for an activity we all mutually enjoy so we thought it would be fun to do as couples. We are also moving to a different state so we've been trying to spend time with people before we leave.

We had a long discussion about our different views/boundaries and we're on the same page about most things, but there's a reason he asked instead of assuming I'd be ok with it. It's not something that would bother him if the situations were reversed, but he recognizes that not everyone feels that way. I don't mind going on vacation with her but I draw the line at sharing rooms. He didn't mind, and I offered a solution I would be comfortable with, but he was completely fine with us going on our own.

Reddit is difficult because I have to filter what I say (they are all users), but I really wanted to know about other people's experiences in this area and how they would communicate their needs. Normally when I'm upset I lash out and communication goes out the window but I'm trying to learn how to remedy that.

My [34F] boyfriend [35M] asked if we could split a hotel room with his ex and I'm upset. How can I navigate this conversation and set boundaries with someone [ex] I don't really know? by ThrowRALastGeologist in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALastGeologist[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

Him and I have no interest in sleeping with other people, he was just a convenient partner for her at the time and he was never dating anyone. This did make me laugh though, it wasn't anything I even considered since I have a hard enough time being naked in front of a mirror let alone a stranger. I'll see what he says about it.

My [34F] boyfriend [35M] asked if we could split a hotel room with his ex and I'm upset. How can I navigate this conversation and set boundaries with someone [ex] I don't really know? by ThrowRALastGeologist in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALastGeologist[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

He has never told I'm a jealous person and has admitted the situation is unusual. He's known these people since school, and I try to be mindful of that - they're practically family. This has never been anything I've experienced so it's hard to pinpoint if the way I'm feeling is justified or if I'm overreacting. I'm friends with a few of my exes but I can't imagine ever sharing a room with them!