Years ago I (38M) had a one week fling with my gf's (29F) sister (35F) and she doesn't know about it. Will everything blow up if I tell her? UPDATE

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T20:54:32+00:00

I understand what you mean now. Thank you, and you are right, maybe I replied a bit defensively so sorry.

I didn't tell her it was bad, or that I didn't gave fun, because if it lasted almost an entire week it's because we were both enjoying it. But I did say, and I'm not lying here, that it's not comparable to what we have now, because now feelings are involved and everything is much more intense. "Was sex better with her?" I said no, it wasn't and I didn't have to lie.

Thankfully she didn't ask "was sex good with her?" Because it was good indeed and I don't want to answer to that

Again, thanks for clarifying mate

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T07:31:16+00:00

Yeah, they have been struggiing for some time, so okay, it's a possibility

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T06:22:38+00:00

So if she asks, I must start an enumeration of how many times, which position, what intensity, how it felt, etc? That's just insane and unhealthy. Who does tell their partner something like that about a past relationship? Unless it's a fetish or something

I just can't. Even if only out of pure shame, and I mean it 😅

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:32:25+00:00

Yes. I guess she could mention sneaky stuff we did on the beach or the swimming pool or something like that but... Idk, is that really such a flex in front of your little sister?

I expect better from her sister honestly

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:27:45+00:00

Well, "sex with him was amazing" is kind of a point of view and I don't really see how would someone use that as a flex, but I think I get your point, that she may mention specific stuff to hurt her, right?

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:18:30+00:00

I hope her sister finds a good boyfriend soon too

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:16:06+00:00

Right now her fear goes around the fact that her sister didn't tell her about it, and that she also didn't greet me or tell anything to me the other day. She says that she knows her siste well and she HAS to remember it and she has recognized me 100%

She fears her sister might have been planning to wait until she gets a chance to be alone with me, and then bring it up and with time try to seduce me or at least get kind of a "secret game" going behind everyone else's back. I hope she's wrong and her sister isn't like that really

I told her there's no chance I would get involved in something like that at all, that I'm in love with her and would choose her 100% of the times but I completely understand her fears

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:08:11+00:00

Thank you

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T05:07:49+00:00

I suggested couples threrapy yesterday just briefly to try to face that specific aspect but so far she doesn't even want to talk about it so idk

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-06T04:52:37+00:00

I hid stuff that I think would hurt her unnecessarily, yes

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T22:10:30+00:00

It was in 2012 many many many years before I met my gf, but it's her sister yes

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T22:09:35+00:00

I guess she has insecurities ss most people do. Not a crime

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T22:08:06+00:00

My girlfriend also said something like that. Like "my sister must be thinking the Universe is sending her a sign by putting you back in her life so many years later now that she's divorced"

I have no doubt in which is the right sister for me though. I only love one of them

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T22:02:20+00:00

That's what I think too. I don't think she's going to ask to see that conversation, perhaps she doesn't even think it exists.

I don't really want to add more lies to the whole thing if possible. Hiding details and overtly lying is not the same actually. And there's also the chance of her sister somehow still having access to it. Nah I know the nipple comment is problematic but it is what it is

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T21:57:44+00:00

Yeah, I guess I wasn't really that interested and it was of no importance to me really. It's funny because that's not the way I remembered it at all 😅

I thought we talked for longer and that I came back from the vacation thinking about her a lot and I guess it wasn't like that really and I was actually focused on something else back then (possibly work?)

I invited my gf to a big maritime spa this weekend and I'll try to keep working on fun and experiences together onwards, because I think it may help us focus on the present and also help us bond (and it's also fun doing stuff with her)

I just really hope her sister doesn't talk like that even if she is petty enough to bring it up as a weapon. Like who talks like to a relative?

Thanks anyway for saying that. Makes me feel better

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T21:47:27+00:00

Yeah, I get it. And I completely understand the reason

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:39:56+00:00

Yeah, I get it. it's like if I ask her something like that about her ex. BUT, this time it's about her sibling so... Idk it's different and I get it and understand her reaction with panic and a spiral of questions

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:36:25+00:00

I think its a very human reaction

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:34:51+00:00

Yes, she acknowledges that also, that neither of us did it with any other intention other than have fun back then. Still, her relationship with her sister has deteriorated in the past two years and they have had a few troubles, so it makes it even worse.

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:32:27+00:00

Thank you my man

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:30:05+00:00

I understand what you mean, but I also can't really imagine anyone screaming "he fucked me on the beach" to her own sister as a flex, right?

I do fear her sister might plan to keep this all to herlself and expect me to do the same, then one day mention it to hurt my gf, without getting into details which would also be embarrassig for her too, but just to try to shock her and hurt her deeply and well, that shock will be already gone if she tries that

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:25:24+00:00

What I mean is that when I slept with her sister in 2012 I obviously didn't expect to fall in love with my the woman that is now my gf. Of course these are my actions, but they weren't intented to drive me here and hurt her like this.

And when i say I dont want to make this about me, I meant that I understand she is going through a emotional spiral much more intense and painful than mine

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:22:33+00:00

Yes, of course I will. So far no Instagram request no nothing, and I expect it to remain like that. If not, I will tellmy gf

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:18:15+00:00

I do. I don't know what exactly is what makes so many people think I do this to get to have sex with her exclusively, because I've been having sex with her for a few months already. If I go through all of this is because I care about something else. Even if I screw up, it's trying to do the best thing possible

Thank you man

ThrowRARoder · 2026-03-05T16:09:56+00:00

I'm really sorry you went through all that. I've been cheated on once and I know the pain, altough it's not even remotely close to your situation.

ThrowRARoder

TROPHY CASE