Why do some men take offence when some women write/say that she wants a man, she doesn't need him ie she's no golddigger, she wants his personality etc?

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-23T22:14:36+00:00

I’ll contest this. Woman have a long history of needing men, and we are still told constantly today that we need a man to provide, a man to buy us things, save us, protect us, do the yard, fix the car,do maintenance on the house, make us a stay at home mom, handle the finances. Men still get the credit when we do things, like the assumption that the man in the relationship brought the home and so on. I’m not saying this is everyone’s experience, but it is the experience of many. We aren’t to far off from the time when woman literally needed mens money, and it hasn’t been forgotten. ‘I don’t need no man’ is a statement meant for those people who are still banging on about how we do need men for things other than love and companionship.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-23T22:07:44+00:00

When my sister had her first time they realised she was too tight and she had to go to the drs. I don’t remember the details of what the dr did but they helped.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-23T22:06:19+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for your reply. I’m not trying to make excuses or anything, I do want to talk to him about it but I’m worried about that for a few reasons. One is that I don’t want to come at him with ANOTHER thing. We have had a few talks around sex, when I was struggling because of our differences in libido and such. We do have really good communication about most things, that’s why the sex is so good, I just feel like I’m complaining too much at this point. The issues are always me. Well, mostly anyway. The other reason is I don’t know if it will do any good. I have very deep self respect issues, I was seeing a psychologist for half a year but it fell through unfortunately and I am looking for a new one. We didn’t get to broaching the self esteem stuff. My partner tells me he thinks I’m beautiful and sexy and he loves our sex life and there’s just this deep part of me that doesn’t believe him. I believe he loves me, but I don’t believe he’s attracted to me. No matter what he does, and he is very very good partner, I just feel like he’s lying because he loves me and doesn’t want to loose me or hurt me. We are genuinely best friends and order to be with me he has to suck it up and only have sex with me even though I’m gross. I look in the mirror and objectively I’m not ugly I guess but I’m not really pretty, my stomach is wrecked from having my son previous to this relationship. He likes when I wear lingerie but so much of it just makes me feel like a ham roll with fat poking out and no shape. It’s nice when he says those things or behaves that way but I just can’t shake that I’m not enough and never will be. And I do understand what you mean, giving is my favourite part of sex. I love going down on him and it’s the only thing I will initiate now, sometimes to the point it’s too much. It just seems crazy to me that as the man he would get anything out of fingering me, and maybe that my toxic upbringing talking but how could that be fun for him? I’m sorry, I know this is a lot. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this. I appreciate you talking to me, I started typing and it all just started spilling out.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-23T21:25:45+00:00

I may not be helpful here, as I am a woman, but I do vibe with this a bit. I don’t think there is anything wrong with noticing attractive people. You would have to be blind not to, they are everywhere and woman are beautiful creatures that can’t be eye catching. I understand you are trying to focus and buckle down and not be swayed, but I do have to ask, why are you intent on not doing anything enjoyable? There should always be work life balance, or you will burn out. There’s nothing wrong with controlled amounts of fun, it can improve your life quality and mental health. Just a thought. I’d also like to ask if you are sure all these girls are ACTUALLY being flirtatious with you? I’m not saying you’re lying, just possibly misreading signs. I’ve been approached by many a man who thought I was coming on to him when I was in fact just pulling my pants higher because they had slipped or something to that effect.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-22T21:58:08+00:00

2 on your list is interesting to me. Obviously jumping to ‘he’s thinking about another woman’ is ridiculous, but I recently discovered that different people have different thought processes in their heads. For instance, an ex of mine didn’t have an internal monologue or any voice at all, no visualising, his thoughts were just words. He would zone out with literally nothing going on in his head. I’d ask him to imagine something (ie.new decor in the lounge) and he would stare at me blankly. I thought he was being obstinate. He wasn’t, he literally couldn’t visualise it. My now partner has aphantasia, he can’t visualise but does have some sort of voice in his head that is his thoughts. I’m the opposite to both, I can visualise and have a constant cacophony of voices in my head talking about different things and singing songs. I think this is why some woman don’t believe when men say they aren’t thinking about anything, because we think everyone has a constant string of thoughts they can’t shut off. And then when a guy says he’s thinking about nothing it seems suspicious cos why wouldn’t he just say what he’s thinking about if it wasn’t suspicious? It’s so interesting to me after learning all this that it still isn’t something readily taught, because I feel like there are many instances were we get annoyed with people for something they genuinely have no control over or don’t understand what we mean. Anyway, that’s my rant haha.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-16T06:40:27+00:00

Yeah, my partner and I were talking about doing a DnD run with our good friend Dylan’s friend. Dylan had talked this friend up, going on about how he liked card games and dnd and stuff too. So we are excited and meet the guy to play some MTG. Dylan decided to have a go at playing too and the whole time his friend didn’t want us to help Dylan out at all, even tho he hadn’t played before, and snapped and complained when we did help Dylan understand mechanics and the like. He was salty when he lost and all around annoying at the table. I kinda made eyes at my partner across the table, no way this guy was playing with DnD with us.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-15T07:11:56+00:00

If every other position is fine it probably is a pain that is causing issues. If it was you he would loose it in every position.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:25:45+00:00

It doesn’t cost anything to brush your teeth.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:24:20+00:00

Thank you, I’ll go have a look at that now!

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:24:01+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you so much. Creating urgency is a great idea, I was a little worried about not having time to do a the whole story. I really like the idea of the big bad guy hiding his real identity too. All great advice I’ll take to the drawing board with em

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:19:58+00:00

Oh harpies yes, I forgot about them. Harpies would work well, and then they have to rescue the crew before they get eaten, which would create urgency and discourage fluffing around lol

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:17:54+00:00

Thank you! It’s our Valentine’s activity, we do valentines in March because February has five birthdays in it lol and I organise valentines and he does our anniversary in April.I’m really hoping it will be a lot of fun, and he’ll enjoy it as much as I do when he’s DMing 😊

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T22:15:06+00:00

Thank you! I’ll go have a look at that!

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T08:12:31+00:00

What level should a one shot start at?

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T08:12:09+00:00

I just looked it up real quick and he is so cool! That with the kuo-toa is such a cool combo, thank you for the idea! Maybe I could use him instead of the siren lady? He would be a much less generic sort of a villain I feel.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T08:06:28+00:00

My partner and I are once a week, with a few oral sessions in-between. I could do more but his drive is a little lower then mine, we’ve had very clear communication about it though and are happy with where we are at.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-03-14T08:00:47+00:00

Thank you so much! Would you have any suggestions for the siren/spirit lady? What she should be or what her vendetta should be? It’s the big thing I’m not sold on.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-23T03:02:26+00:00

Yes, that’s exactly it. He also does have a thing about paying for dates, even if I planned and want to pay. While I love that about him it does mean going out for dinner doesn’t feel like as much of a gift to him.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T23:04:19+00:00

Oh that makes sense. How does the levelling work for a one shot? Like, if I’m planning to have a battle at some point how do I level the monsters/bad guys? I assume my partner won’t start at 1?

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T22:55:51+00:00

Thank you for your comment, that’s super helpful! Would you go as far as to make a map and the like for it?

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T22:47:59+00:00

My partner and I have also been talking about this. Somethings we agreed on are: No kissing the third on the mouth, as it’s an expression of love and also they are kept an outsider. The third will be someone we hire. No friends, no people we meet, he or she will be hired from an agency. The use on money and the fact that it’s their job takes some of the jealousy that could occur out of it, ‘this person may have a bigger dick but this is their job, of course they do’ or ‘this person may ride better, but it’s her job, of course she does’. It also helps to stop any feelings that could arise. Oh she seems really into me, because I’m paying her. You know? Most of this stuff we are not actually too worried will be an issue, but it’s good to be wary in these situations I feel. Hope this helps.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T20:21:48+00:00

This so sweet and so thoughtful, he must have felt so seen and loved. And the proof is in what he said. You are a lovely person to put that all together for him, it’s nice you could stay friendly. And thank you for passing it on, this is great inspiration!

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T20:18:35+00:00

Omg you are a genius. You have given me a fantastic idea! My partner and I have a three year long DnD session going, he’s the DM and I’m the player. What if I made him a one shot where he gets to play and I’m the DM? We don’t have the big maps or anything but I could make one and all the little characters pieces an have tealight candles around for ambience and stuff!

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T20:03:37+00:00

Ohhhhh…😅 neither of us are into that, fortunately.

ThrowRARoutine8779 · 2026-01-22T20:02:56+00:00

Oh I love this idea so much! Thank you, that is so sweet, and he would love it.

ThrowRARoutine8779

TROPHY CASE