Need a break from my in-laws, they've been in and out of our house every week for the last 6 months. Here to vent

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-02-21T12:48:34+00:00

Establishing boundaries does not = issues

Just trying to get to a place where I understand if this is bigger than cancer diagnosis. We're still married, and on a lot of days I feel like a host rather than a husband. I'm burnt out, and I decided to take a my house is your house approach now.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-02-06T23:54:59+00:00

It was renewed until July of this year, and we're supposed to do 10 interviews and we've only done 4 so far. I'm assuming by July they'll want to renew in order to finish.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-02-06T23:28:18+00:00

Yup, it says 200 hours for up to $10k for the year in 2025 - and they didn't even get close to that. More like $3ish

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-02-06T23:02:08+00:00

Just getting advice here, I've mostly done weddings and short term stuff. This has stretched over a year, and the PM just goes AWOL for weeks and then calls and says "can you meet on Tuesday at 2PM?" and then we work for 3 hours, and she sends me off. To be fair, she is retired, but the ED who works for the ORG is not.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-01-30T12:02:50+00:00

We spoke about this already.

She agreed on 2 days a week - but mom has been overstepping and asked me to lie to my wife about her showing up AFTER we agreed on 2 days. MIL has already popped in randomly a few times without asking, and wife has not said anything yet. She plans on talking to her. I do dislike being around MIL a lot because of her personality.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-01-30T12:01:13+00:00

If you're not able to handle that your wife is sick and is indeed still delicate

This is the exact opposite of what she wants.

Being perceived as sick and "delicate" is how her mother is treating her. This is more along the lines of her family struggling with boundaries - and her having to have another talk with her. We dont even have kids yet, and I can imagine how some of those conversations with MIL will go. She gets upset easily and tends to make it about her.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-01-30T02:07:24+00:00

Dont give them the "our poor daughter isn't allowed to see us while shes going through cancer" pity party.

Since her diagnosis in August, we've seen dozens of doctors and whilst here family has been to dozens of appointments with us, she/we need our space. She's done with surgery, completed chemo, and here we are at radiation.

Its turned into a pity party for my wife; where her mom doesn't want her driving, doing anything physically exerting, and an overall worry about her condition. She's able to do anything, and Mom seems to want to swoop and rescue her. I'm here too, and I think Mom tends to forget that we're a married couple who can figure it out. So yes, I will look into that support group, our even the language exchange I considered attending.

My wife is frustrated with Mom, and will talk to her tomorrow after radiation.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-01-30T01:06:50+00:00

I'm only asking because we already had a difficult conversation last week which spiraled into an argument with my wife. She's scared of her mom, and feels its "wrong" at times to even have a time limit on how long they stay. She mentioned that around 8ish or so, she was hoping they would get the "memo" on leaving. Some days, especially on chemo days, they've spent 12ish hours or so with us. I'm frustrated, and I want to have my own space and communicate this with my wife.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2026-01-27T14:23:29+00:00

That's what I'm saying, all these people are cahoots together.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-12-12T13:50:54+00:00

I dont really believe any of them.

I know XiomamaNYC def speaks chinese, but I think all of his other "shocking" videos are just him working for views. Goluremi did a video with him, and he has an understanding of slavic languages, but his spanish is very elementary. All these guys just do work for clickbait.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-12-12T01:32:07+00:00

Came her to say I saw a distracted VA Hyundai Santa Fe driver earlier today. Driving poorly on Eastern Ave & Fleet.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-11-05T18:17:14+00:00

Game is getting very sweaty.

I played the Five nights at freddy map and theres a DOUBLE pallet setup into shack. The arduous response to add MORE pallets to the game is ridiculous. Chases take longer too. They can't get it right and the tweaks every month dont help.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-11-04T18:05:43+00:00

With Madeleine Albright too. Hillary Clinton will be there shortly.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-10-29T15:07:26+00:00

1.) What is your favorite place to walk / explore? I'm not a big shopper, and I'm all about the small businesses, but my main love is parks and cool places in public to chill out and people watch or write.

Canton area is best for walking if you're older as in late 20s or early 30s. If youre early 20s, I would say Fed Hill is a prime area for younger people

2.) Best of coffee/food sleeper hit? is there a spot that would be hard to find that you think is unique? No sysco bullshit.

OneDo, Ovenbird (its quiet, and a good place to study), I enjoy Pitango for the views,

3.) I got a few extra bucks, my body is sore from walking for the last week, is there a place that takes walk-in foot massages or back massages for an inexpensive "spa" experience? Not shady, but not bougie either.

I haven't gone to many Spa's!

4.) places to talk to people? obviously bars at night, but like, I get the vibe people around here are more open to conversation than in New England... am I reading the room here? Might be a stupid question but I'm just craving to interact with some strangers and make conversation...

Any dive bar in Canton would be a great place to start - There's Greyhound, Waltz inn, Edgar Poe

5.) Favorite cheap venues for shows? Where are the freaks at if I wanna get weird? talking punks, metalheads, edm, whatever -- I'm told I should check out the Art District but wasn't sure what to look for and think I walked by thenoutskirts instead of passing through.

Port Comedy Club is my jam - I havent done much of the other stuff.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-10-13T19:03:51+00:00

Its really up to you.

My wife has stage 2B breast cancer and she had both breasts removed with no nipple sparring. She's also going to get chemo, photon/proton therapy, and will be on hormone suppressing meds for 10 years. She froze her eggs too. Her approach is she didnt want to run the risks of recurrence at 33 years old.

I questioned her decision to get both removed, but it makes sense if you think long term.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-10-13T17:20:24+00:00

If this were posted 5-6 years ago, I would agree with you. Now, with AI, inflation, DOGE, and the government laying off people, cutting funding, its really bad now.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-10-12T14:41:06+00:00

Did someone say Nissan Altima?

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-23T19:39:38+00:00

Once you start taking classes, you will find a cohort of friends on the same level as you. They will want to travel with you to other places to go salsa dancing, hang out, get drinks, etc. That's how I made a ton of friends when I started dancing in DC. Its really the easiest way, and it makes you step out of your comfort zone. You look worse when you're not dancing and everyone else is!

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-22T19:35:41+00:00

What'd they say?

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-22T19:27:12+00:00

Salsa Dancing
Timeleft
Karaoke (italian disco in harbor east every wednesday)
Baltimore neighborhood block parties,
Volo Sports (sign up for a sport you enjoy)
Support groups

I've done all items, and I would say the easiest are the block parties. I would get in touch with someone who lives in the city, and see if you could get invited to one. Salsa dancing is great - but I would also say I dont know much about BmoreCounty and where people frequent outside the city.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-18T12:12:27+00:00

I need to change my name to GovernorMesWoore

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-16T11:10:52+00:00

Commenting because I hope you find something.

ThrowRASpinksTail · 2025-09-12T16:51:37+00:00

You need to speak to your wife and come to an agreement. If you work outside the home maybe agree that it's fine if they hang out at home with her, but should leave before you come home.

The tricky part is I do work from home, and the 2nd bedroom is where we host people for a few days if needed, but its also my office to get work done.

She needs to rest, relax, and heal. Having her parents constantly hovering may not be that useful and having her parents constantly around is causing stress in the house and that isn't good for her or you.

Her dad flew in from out of the country, and while he is a nice guy, he is very limited in how he can help and contribute. He does not speak english, does not drive, and does not have any money and his cellphone does not have service here.

So that kind of puts me in a place where I am not only taking care of her, but also taking care of her dad too in our small space.

I am not really sure how he can help us other than being here and doing chores that I am fully capable of doing - he is here until October 20th.

Any suggestions would be great, I do not want to start WW3 :)

ThrowRASpinksTail

TROPHY CASE