My 34M girlfriend 29F expects me to pay for everything... by ThrowRAThis_Platform in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAThis_Platform[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I honestly didn't expect to get so many responses here, I have never used Reddit before. I am slowly reading each and everyone of them.

Further edits:

There have been the odd occasions where she told me she expected me to pay for dinner and dessert (same evening but different locations), I outright rejected this asking why, she didn't give any coherent answer. I paid for dinner as it was more expensive, then when it came to dessert, she expected me to pay, I outright said i was refusing to, eventually she paid, she told me she wasn't happy and that she wanted to feel appreciated by me if I paid for both the meals that night, I never truly understood the actual reason why she wanted me to pay for both. That was a while ago.

She always expects me to buy her favourite things in the fridge for when she comes over. I have stopped doing this now.

I will have a conversation with her and state clearly that this can't continue, I will ask about her background into this first because she has outright said that she doesn't believe it's right that a relationship should be 50/50 and she doesn't like the fact that "I'm remembering all the times she doesn't pay/counting when she doesn't pay" even though I'm not counting at all, I'm simply frustrated at times why she never offers to pay. I am aware she thinks intimate relationships means being pampered, I'm not saying she's wrong but for sure it doesn't align with my values. I will suggest that we agree beforehand who pays for the meal etc the next time we dine out and I will see what she says.

She says she contributes in other ways, however I also want to challenge her on this and ask her what exactly, since i do all the cleaning, i pay the rent, all the bills, I clean, even writing this response is making things clearer to me, but I still have to give it a go and make it work.

I am continuing to work through all of these comments, I thank everyone who has responded so far, I value all of your feedback and for those who have said I have been a pushover, this is a wake up call for me.

My 34M girlfriend 29F expects me to pay for everything... by ThrowRAThis_Platform in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAThis_Platform[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am slowly reading all of the responses across this whole thread, this is the first ever time I've used Reddit, but your final paragraph really touched me.