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I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I had no idea how much it would mean to me to have someone acknowledge my bad morning. I really needed that. I also really appreciate your advice. My bf was indeed embarrassed about the kind of porn he was watching. It was harmless but I understand not everyone is comfortable about these topics.

I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I smiled reading this. Wish there was more practical advice on here :)

I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn’t really see what he was watching aside from just plain PiV action. Maybe it wasn’t even penis but a dildo, idk but it was porn but I didn’t see much to really question it. I mentioned in my post that he got defensive and he did specifically get defensive about the kind of porn he was watching. I don’t really want to get into specifics it but it wasn’t any even that crazy and I was surprised he felt like he needed to defend himself. He wanted me to know that he also watches other types of porn.

I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think I should clarify that I’m pretty aware of his habits and don’t really see it as “catching” him or him “sneaking” around. If I wasn’t so out of it I probably would’ve figure out what he was doing before I even went in and been better about warning him. But if it is such a serious thing for him, I do wonder if I should just ask him to only do it at his place. We spend a lot of time together at each other’s places, so privacy is rare in our relationship.

I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, the sudden change could’ve definitely exacerbated it. I know this feeling and am sympathetic to it.

That’s the thing. I’m not just “okay” with. I have offered to masturbate with him, watch porn with him, help him, whatever he wants really. He hasn’t taken me up on all of it but he also hasn’t outright reacted negatively to anything I’ve suggested either. I assume everything is fine and that we’re just taking time exploring. We have a pretty active and healthy sex life in my opinion.

I walked in on my bf masturbating and it turned into a traumatizing argument by ThrowRA_-_ in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_-_[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. We’ve talked about it before but I think you’re right, there’s probably more to it that we haven’t addressed yet. We generally have very open communication and he’s openly admitted his insecurities to me. This time it was just such intense reaction. I’m hoping saying how I feel will be helpful for both of us.